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"Care to Care" by Rolly A. Chabot

Updated on December 10, 2012
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Welcome

Good morning all, hope you enjoy the Fireside this morning, especially those who have dropped in from warmer climates. Sorry for the inclement weather we are having but after all it is winter here in Western Canada. The mountains are a sight to behold, not only the tops are white with snow but the entire mountains stand as sentinels. Only showing jagged rock outcroppings and dark gorges. It stirs the blood looking at them. It is like they are calling.

But alas a wise mans sits by the fire and only dreams of the untold mystery they have hidden till a warmer day arrives. Welcome one and all to another day of me rambling. Gather around, collect something warm to drink, take a chair, couch or cushion near the fire and know that you are more than welcome. If nothing else today, take a blessing with you and know you have left one with me. Know that you are loved.

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We are not Alone

I have been reflecting a great deal these past few days on life and what I see happening all around us, especially in the bigger cities where saying hello to someone may get you in some deep trouble.

How far have we really drifted from common, ordinary daily communications with other people around us. I live in a small community where we know the guy across town, the names of his children and yes even the family pets names. A place where we gather at the four way stop to see who cheats and pulls out before it is their turn. A place where you say hello to everyone and the meeting place for conversation is the Church of choice and the lobby of the Post Office or simply out on the street. A place where neighbours take the time to visit and swat misquotes in the summer and help shovel each others snow in the winter.

Yet I still ask myself the same question. How well do I know everyone? We have become a very guarded society today. I mean when I go to the cities people are plugged into all sorts of devices. Phones, wires hanging from ears, books, personal reading devices. To me it is an indication of just how unplugged we have come from each other. It is sad to think of people torn apart on the inside and having no place to connect with people.

We are all guilty of wearing masks in the real world. A common question when we see friends "How are you doing? The common answer, "Great." But really down deep inside, the place we have it all hidden, are we willing to share what we are really feeling or have we become like this rusty old barb wire sitting on a post. Have we become so distant that we care not to share our struggles. Do we have such a defence built around ourselves we will not let anyone in. Or worse yet not care about the needs of others and what they may be facing.

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Take the Time to Look

We have all played the blame game. You know where we say it is all their fault. Make excuses that say it was my parents, my family, classmates, past relationships. Any of the above can take the blame and we feel better in say so and point fingers freely. Point at someone else and say its all your fault. Now stop and look at your hand and realize something very important. Yes one finger is pointing in their direction but there are three pointing right back at you. We can easily judge can we not.

Keep in mind when we judge we become the experts at another persons downfall. Think about this seriously when you judge, 'Is it possible the judgement you are casting out is something you see in yourself and it makes you feel good to point it out in others. How quickly we can jump to conclusions in other people and avoid dealing with our own baggage. An old Indian proverb states "Do not judge until you have walked a mile in my moccasins."

What is the solution really? Is it possible we need to look deep within ourselves and quit feeling sorry for the "Me in Me." Maybe time to start to look at the need of others. Random acts of kindness warm the heart and refresh the mind telling us just how fortunate we really are. Take a look around yourself and ask yourself honestly, "Could what I see in others be something I see in myself as well?

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Love and Caring

For some of us we have been where this man finds himself. For me it is a stark reminder of another life. A life lost in the addictions of alcohol and drugs. A time so painful because I closed the door to the entire world. It was not until I accepted the fact I was powerless over either that I accepted help. Have I gone without, certainly it s in the darkest times you dig deep within and accept where you are and start the long slow climb back. It was thanks to God, Family and some very dear friends I was able to remain sober for the past 36 years.

Again I ask, how is it we can pass by someone and not reach out in love and compassion and help. I know we have all been burnt in our efforts to help but know one thing for certain even the smallest act of kindness or smile can make a huge difference to those in need. That change you have in your pocket that you slip into a jar when you get home at night could be the difference in a meal for that person. If you are in doubt what your gift will be used for take a chance and offer to buy a meal for them. Better yet slip in to a fast food outlet and buy them a meal and simply give it to them.

I have met some incredible people over my years of reaching out. Once trust has been established you soon learn of a life of devastation that has brought on the situation they find themselves in. Who knows maybe your caring enough may be just the little boost they need to start the journey back. For me it was one person who took the time to listen. A interesting thing happens when you share from the heart and accept responsibility, hearing yourself speak gives you new hope. I recall asking that same person a year later what I could do to pay back the favour. Their response was simple, "Rolly just do the same when your heart calls you to reach out to another who has been where have. The greatest gift you can give is love and hope."

We send millions away to other countries, the need is great and I support several children in under privileged countries. It is a blessing to get letters and watch the children grow and hear from them. Let us never forget we have great need right here in our own cities and nations. I have followed the economy of both the US and Canada these past years and we are in trouble.

We have developed all sorts of agencies and social programs to help those in need and been witness to the abuse of people who are just to lazy to work. The machine is huge and yet how is it we can change their lives. A hard question to answer and even harder to watch our taxpayer dollars being squandered and abused. Maybe we have become so hardened we just simply close a blind eye to it. Does it mean everyone is the same? No not in the least, there are those out there who simply need a hug and some encouragement. We can enter the scene far before it gets to a place of desperation just by listening, loving and caring.


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Getting Unstuck

Once a person has reached a place of hitting the bottom, it is then and only then he can come to appreciate the simplest things in life like a kind word, a hot coffee on a cold day or the warmth of the fire I have burning here right now. An interesting survey here in Canada asked people how much they are planning on spending for gifts this year. A staggering figure of between 800 and 1500 dollars is what they have come up with. Think of what could be done with that money to help others, rather than on some silly gifts.

If you can not help financially, there are several options for us to take a look at. All our cities and towns have food banks. Consider helping out there. Workers are always needed.

Visit people who are shut ins or are alone. Deliver a meal to a family across the street who have just moved in and say hello. Turn around and smile at the person behind you and just say hello. Help at a centre who feed the homeless. Check on the Internet and find a society who are looking for volunteers to help in a worthy cause. Sit down and write a heartfelt letter to someone who has hurt you or whom you have hurt. Forgive and be forgiven. The possibilities, well lets just say "Limits exist only in our minds." Anything is possible with love.

Remember the hand who helps may also be the hand who seeks help someday. It can happen to us all. Take the time this year not only at this time of year but all year to make a difference in another life. The greatest blessing of helping others is knowing you have been blessed in return.

In closing I recall a mission statement I took on several years ago. "The road I have travelled has led me to where I find myself today." Would I change anything, no not really but from the journey I have learned I am loved and in return I choose to offer that same love back to all who are willing to receive. Seek daily the chance to make the difference in the place we call life.

Above all else know that each and everyone of you are loved at the Fireside. Blessings and many hugs for reading my ramblings.

© Rolly A. Chabot

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    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Faith Reaper... thanks for reading and it is so very important to reach out to all people. Just the simple and sometimes the great things can make a world of difference.

      Thank you for all you do for others... it is an inspiration to know.

      Many Hugs from Canada

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, your "ramblings" sound a lot like the very subjects I write about here on HubPages, i.e., the homeless, just reaching out to others in kindness and love, even if in the smallest of gestures . . .

      Excellent points to ponder no doubt.

      Thank you for this beautiful write here.

      Voted up +++ and sharing

      Blessings and love to you.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Pam... Thanks for the visit and sharing your experience. There are many ways we can help others and sometimes just listening is enough. Something magical happens when someones shares with you what they are struggling with. It is like they all of a sudden have a light bulb moment and life begins to change for them.

      Hugs to you for all you do for others....

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      HI RC... thanks for the comment and I agree. I think part of the problem is we have become hardened in some ways to the news of disaster. It is only when it happens close to us do we really respond. I know I supported Sandy victims but only from a distance through the Red Cross.

      People are generally great when it comes to helping but sometimes it is a little overwhelming but we must continue to help when we can.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Rolly, This hub has such a powerful message. I have had things happen in my life that were painful and I didn't understand at the time, but it is amazing how all these experiences have allowed me to understand the problems of others and have compassion where I might not have had otherwise. You put this into words that anyone can relate to and I think this hub is awesome.

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      Rolly - Unfortunately, we are now experiencing the "Me" society. At one time, we recognized there were others in need and would do whatever we could to help them. However, times are no longer like that. Whether we've been tainted by those that took advantage of that kindness, or simply stopped caring about those that didn't care about us, it happened. I looked at the East coast hurricane and how all pleaded for help. Yet, one week later on election day, a monster earthquake hit Central America and no word or assistance was heard. Since then, other earthquakes and disasters have occurred, and again, no notification from the media. We are simply becoming self centered in our ways. It is a sad place to which society has arrived. Let us hope it changes before it's too late. Great post!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again Ericdierker... Now that Billy is a good friend, a leader among the best of the best... looking forward to hearing more...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Rolly I have caught my man. Seemingly a co-conspirator of Mr. Holland on this mission/movement called H.O.W. Now that I have this man in my sights, it gives me great understanding of why men love their fellow man. I will get to the bottom of this. Maybe!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Ericdierker .... thank you so much for coming back. Now I have this great smile on my face... Hope to see you at the Fireside again soon. The door is wide open.

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Mark.... sorry Pal... this man is a dear friend and they have an association they call The War Lords and often travel to the Canadian Fly In's etc and display their planes. He also has an old Bell 47 chopper with the entire glass bubble. That will be next time...

      Hugs and Blessing Mark

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lifegate... thank you for the affirmation we are all at such a distance. As a child I recall people just dropping in for a visit and my family doing the same. The welcome mat has seemed to have disappeared from doorways today. I think the answer is to simply reach out where ever we can. Even a talk over the fence is better than no talk at all.

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi eHealer... you are so right. I recently wrote an article in regards to the privilege of being born where we have been. Really it could have been anywhere and yet we still grumble at times.

      I have a friend in Zimbabwe and the conditions there are so horrible he has only asked for prayer rather than take a chance getting money from Western Union from me. He says it would be near impossible to get the food they need safely home... so sad.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      The extension of your warm hand is like the Christmas Present for old Scrooge. Hip Hip Hoorah there is still time! Let us make the most of it.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Ericdierker... So sorry we missed you standing outside. The Fireside is always open so please do come back again and let us greet you properly.

      I so appreciate the imagery of what you have written here.

      I often think of people doing just that standing on the outside looking in. I have been there as well.

      I can tell there is a great writer in your words, thank you for stopping and sharing and I will be coming right over. Hope your dear wife and family do not mind a stranger knocking at the door. Just want to thank you for the blessing you have left and please do come back.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      A chipmunk and a spitfire, wow you really know how to tease don't you :)

      That is awesome Rolly. And you know I agree 100% if we each do one thing the ripples will flow over the world eventually!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi CriSp... hugs for the comment... you are so kind. I often sit and observe people. I love airports and busy places and especially love interacting with others. What can be learned is we all have something in common, it is the need to be around others.

      Many years ago when I was between jobs I ended in the service industry. Yes there were some people who were hard to deal with and yet a smile and listening ear would soften the hardest of heart.

      Blessings to you and yours from Alberta

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Times certainly have changed - and quickly it seems. I remember when we were interconnected with those in our neighborhoods. Not we barely know who lives across the street. Sad. Thanks for a sobering reminder of what we all need - each other.

    • eHealer profile image

      Deborah 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      Beautiful Rolly, thanks for sharing your sentiments with me, it is so wonderful to be "glad we are alive" and nothing beats that feeling of being free, and free to care for others. Voted up!

      PS: The photos are awesome

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      So I was just walking along with my long trenchcoat on and my fedora pulled low, hands deep into pockets, down cyberlane here in the drizzle. I looked in through a window and saw a wonderful fireside. With a nice man writing away. The hearth was warm and as soon as he finished, several folks came down cyberlane and entered his fireside room. As I looked at all them I could tell they marveled and shared in what the man had written. They gave good tidings and shared cyberhugs. Oh how wonderful it was. I chose to just keep trudging along alone. If only one of them would have reached out to me to be a part of the celebration.

      And then I remembered to start running home as my wonderful wife and children were waiting for me. It was great to see this hub and the gathering. While I prefer being home, cyberlane was nice to visit.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Now, this is the kind of rambling readers would love to read. I couldn't agree more on you: "The greatest gift you can give is love and hope".

      What a wonderful addition to the H.O.W. initiative, well thought and sincerely written. You know, you always have my vote and obviously sharing.

      Thoroughly enjoyed reading by the fireside. May you continue to be blessed and be a blessing to others. Thank you.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Louisa Rogers... Awe that is so sweet to say... Double Hugs coming your way.

      I think we do get a little hardened sometimes. I know I can if I fail to keep my thoughts positive.

      From your writing I have read so far I would venture a guess you have a much bigger heart that you give yourself credit for... You have a new follower...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Jackie... good to see your smiling face here again and I understand what you say about being busy and all. Life just happens.

      I agree with you about the never ending spending and really the lack of accountability we as citizens have in the matter. Social media is having a great effect now and that is a blessing.

      You are so right when you say we should not have hunger in our Nations. We are both rich in technology, industry and natural resources yet our jobs are being farmed out to other countries for cheaper labour. I can understand their needs as well but really successful people being unemployed and families hungry.

      Change I believe must start with the people. Just a simple kind act can change several people.

      The word game has been fun on FB... smiles...

      Hugs to you as always and GB

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Carol777... hugs my dear friend... you have wrapped this up so well and what technology has done for us. I far prefer sitting over a cup of coffee with someone as chatting away on social media.

      One of the many blessings I do find here though is the relationships and bonds that we all have in common. To me it has become yet another way of simply saying I love you... many have become close email friends, many have extended to phone cals and person to person on Skype.

      Hugs to you from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Mark... strange I just thinking of you the other day and the ride I had in an old vintage Chipmunk and a customized Spitfire knowing you would have been in your glory.

      I agree we as a society have left much behind but you know if one random act of kindness can change another persons life, what more can we do collectively...

      Hugs Bro from Canada

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 5 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      Rolly, you sound like the kind soul I want to be, but am not always. You bring a smile to my face and I feel my creaky iron heart opening. Thank you sweetie!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lisa... you know the best part of doing these little things for others... they can be done while we work and people do not even need to know. Several years ago I spent the better part of the day walking just ahead of a parking meter man in the city dropping coins in the expired meters. All he said at the end of the walkabout was "Nice day for a walk...."

      "Did those people who were in violation know? It does not matter a bit because you see the parking metter fellow and I have maintained a friendship now for going on 9 years.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Good thoughts. Have been meaning to get by but about all I have been here for lately is to return a few visits; been pretty busy and lots of appointments, even one in the morning. Wears one out!

      Our countries are in bad shape and getting worse, seems no one has common sense anymore. The US government has allowed all sorts of waste and misuse of funds, like paying $150 for a hammer and that sort of thing and it never stops. There should be no hungry here or anywhere. How can a nation feed another one while their own starves?

      Hopefully all that nonsense will be over soon. No use saving our goods for the buzzards, we should give and abundantly.

      Hope you are doing well, haven't been back to see how your word game was going at Facebook, lol, sounded interesting though.

      Heard the north pole was melting so these big snows suddenly are surprising. I haven't seen snow in ever so long. Maybe some will come my way.

      Keep warm and GB.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

      Everytime I seen that picture with the dog and his master I get teary eyed. I think with technology today people don't have to talk..Text and walk around with phones in our ears. We don't have to memorize phone numbers anymore as they are on speed dial. Why go out side and visit when you can sit on your computer and play games. And people have changed from all this. So I value my special friends and know the difference between friendship and acquaintanceship. Also helping others..some do but others don't care. Great hub on all about humanity.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      This is truly a heartfelt message Rolly. It is a message that everyone needs to hear, and take to heart. More than that, it is the very basis of what society should be and has drifted away from.

      Thank you for sharing this, Mark

    • Rusticliving profile image

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Rolly, I love this hub! The unselfish acts that we as fellow human beings can do for one another is unlimited. All we need to do is open our hearts, our minds and our arms. Well done. Thumbs up and shared!! ♥