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Catch a Cheating Spouse

Updated on January 10, 2010

How to Catch A Cheating Spouse Intro

One of the most common issues in a marriage or relationship is the possibility of cheating. So you wouldn't be surprised that it is showed to be one of the main causes of divorces and separation. You can find plenty of books and resources that discusses the concepts of catching a cheating spouse. But before you go off and try to learn if your spouse is cheating, you need to verify some things first and get ready to learn more about your spouses actions.

Of course, if you are suspecting them, there has to be a reason why. The most common reason is the sudden change in behavior whether it is strange or just not the usual. You have to pay close attention to this behavior which is the first step to take if you want to catch a cheating spouse. Here is a little outline of the process.

Catch a Cheating Spouse Phase 1: Denial and Emotions

The first step to help you catch a cheating spouse and to get a right state of mind. When you first expect that your spouse may be cheating on you, it is normal to feel hurt or betrayed. You may also have denials. "He could never do this to me", "He loves me", or "He said he wouldn't ever cheat on me". This is understandable. Deep down you don't want to be betrayed by your significant other.

If you want to go through the process of knowing the truth, you need to maintain your emotions. Don't let your spouse know that you suspect them. Try to act the same way you have been acting. As long as you accept the possibility of being cheated on and maintain your emotions during the investigative process, you can better get to the truth whether it is good or bad without getting caught or letting your spouse know that you suspect them.

Catch a Cheating Spouse Phase 2: Observation and Signs

After you have become emotionally ready to move forward with this, it's time to observe your spouses behavior. You want to look for signs of a cheating. You should know some of the most common signs....

Coming home late at night

Works lots of overtime but no proof of being paid for the time

Perfume or lipstick on clothes

Takes more showers, especially when arriving home

Spends less time with you

Mysterious phone calls, caller hangs up when you answer

Less intimate or lack of affection

Carries around condoms when you know you both don't use them

Deletes text messages, call log always empty

Does own laundry

Pays more attention to appearance than before

Change of attitude, picks fights with you for no reason

Takes unexplained business trips or vacations

Uses computer more often, usually when you are not present or sleep, browser history always cleared.

These are just a few of the signs and if your spouse is showing more than 3 of these signs, there may be a chance they are cheating on you. Some of these signs can have a legitimate explanation but if your spouse is showing a lot of these signs together, then that is a red flag.

Catch Cheating Spouse Phase 3: Investigation

Now, it is time for some investigative work.Here are some of the things you can easily do to help you better understand what is really going on. By doing some of these things, you can also eliminate what you thought was a sign or strange behavior.

Go over the summary of the calls made to your home. You can usually get this information from the phone bill. See if you don't recognize any of the numbers. You also need to think back to the times your spouse uses the phone the most and look at any calls made during that time. If you don't recognize any numbers, write them down for later.

Now its time to look over your credit card bills and look at any unusual charges that you are unaware of. Also pay close attention to where the charges were made and what was it for (If your credit card company provides that information).

The same thing goes for taking money from an ATM or writing checks. Take a look at checkbook records or banking/credit card statements to see if there is an increase in money taken out of the checking accounts. See who the checks were made out to.

Receipts are also pretty useful. Check or locate any receipts you find. Try to check in their wallet/purse or in the car. See if there is something on the receipt that looks strange or stands out. If they bought it, why haven't you received it?

Change up your schedule. If your spouse knows you usually get home from work around 5pm, come home1-2 hours early one day.

Remember when I said to write down any numbers that you were unfamiliar of? You can use reverse phone look up and trace who the number belongs to, address, and the carrier of the phone. Sometimes you can get even more information. Unlisted and cell numbers included.

If your spouse spends a lot of time on the computer, you can use computer monitor software to record your spouses activities on Internet. This includes taking screenshots of the websites, tracking what websites are visited, and they every keystroke the spouse makes during the time on the computer. This information is then emailed to you confidentially.

These are just a few ways you can go about catching a cheating spouse. You don't have to be in the dark about this. Would you like to take your investigative work to the next level? If you need a guide to help you along the way of uncovering the truth, I highly recommend Sarah Pauls Book, How to Catch a Cheating Spouse. Not only does she teaches you the right way to go about catching your spouse cheating, she even throws in 2 free bonuses, computer monitoring software and a great book about spy gadgets. She also provides free email consultation. The information in her books cover everything from top to bottom, from signs of cheating to the confrontation. Get the whole package now. Don't miss out.

How to Confront a Cheating Spouse: Phase 4

There is a wrong and a right way to confront a cheating spouse. Well maybe it's not that wrong since you will probably be caught up with emotions and hurt so that may cause you to react without thinking. Here are some tips of how to confront a cheating spouse when or if that times comes. Hopefully not though.

  • Make sure you keep control of yourself physically. This may be hard to do and your spouse may deserve a slap (never hit a women fellows) but try to avoid any physical altercations. This could get you into trouble and cause more problems.
  • Do not destroy your spouses property. I got this idea from cheaters and seen a lot of people set clothes on fire and hit someones car. Don't do that. This will cause more problems too.
  • It's a good idea to confront your spouse one on one. Present your evidence and keep calm. Never confront a cheating spouse without proof or they will deny it. The only exception to confronting them one on one is if you actually want to catch them when they are with the other person. This way they really can't deny it and the other person can know that they have been playing them too.
  • Prior to the confrontation, prepare yourself emotionally. Sometimes people are overwhelmed with their emotions that things can get out of hand and sometimes that put off the confrontation.
  • Decide if you want to make it work afterwards. You may want to just leave but some might want to try and see if they can start over again. You don't want to be confused with what you want to do while after confronting your spouse.
  • Have a plan from the beginning. Know what you are going to do, how you will do it, what evidence you will have, where you want to do it, and prepare yourself for how your spouse will react.

Those are some tips to help on how to confront a cheating spouse.


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I have found that my husband has been texting, cell calling to a G/F I have known for 43 years. He has been calling her all hours, every day, 7 days a week and she calls him up to 12 times a dat while he is at work.

      He has kept this secret for over 4 years. But I found her text a few weeks ago saying" Hi my love, Sorry I missed yur call yesterday" I now have all of his cell records from 2008 through 2011. I see haw many call the y made to eachother. At night while he walked the dog, early mornings she would call his cell when he got to work. He would call her even on a Sat. when He and I were out shopping. He would say" I have cramps, have to go to toilet, then call her. Or go off in the store right after we got there and call her. She told a person," When Barb dies and my husband dies( He is dying of ALS disease) that she would come to where my husband is and have him. Some G/F huh?

      43 years and this bitch is doing this behind y back,plus my husband? I have hired an attorney to serve her a Petition to stop, cease, and never be in touch with us in any manner. Text, E-Mails, Land line, Cell, work#s etc. Karma is a bitch, and I am the bitch that will het her! I have his cell phone and she is blocked from calling his cell.

      Or our home. Or his work. She crossed the G/F code BIG TIME!


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