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Causes Of Divorce in Marriage And How To Prevent It.
What is a divorce?
A divorce is a separation between two legally married men and women.
What are those things caused a divorce?
A divorce occurs when both spouses make divorce legal, so they are acquitted of all their marital obligations. In short, when you apart from your husband, there is nothing more that binds you together; you are no longer required something together.
Get your Spanish troubles of this definition? Protests your heart fervently against the idea of a divorce from your spouse, despite the mess that represents your marriage today? Still, does not give up; fight for your marriage.
However, to save your marriage, you will have to first seek out the core of your problems. Why are you about to divorce? Here are some common causes of divorce in marriage has I put it together below. Walk through this once and look for similarities with your own wedding.
1. Married for the wrong reasons
Maybe you are just married because you were expecting a child. Or maybe you are just married to others to please. In other words, you have got married before you have the really good look at each other, and if you have matched. And ultimately caused much tension between you because you want to be really married.
2. Unrealistic expectations
No man is perfect. No man shall 24/7 for his / her ready woman, and no woman will always be cheerful. Everyone has needed a moment to himself, but that your husband says they want to be alone, does not mean that he/she, therefore, keeps you less. So why do you expect that he/she must still prove how much you have for him/her means?
3. Too young married
Many young people are enchanted by the idea of house, tree, and animal. So, if you do indeed learn? Later you will marry and have children - and be happy. Later, when you're really ready to commit yourself to someone and ready for all the responsibilities; are you really ready to get married?
4. Loss of identity
It is very easy to end up in the role of "wife" or "husband", or simply in the role of "husband." From the moment you are married, is your "I" becomes "we." You are seen as a couple, and not as individuals. However, you have your own interests, preferences, and hobbies; you are married, but not one person.
5. Lack of intimacy
By making love to your husband and you are literally closer together - it's an act of love. Often, however, you use sex during marriage only as a means of sexual gratification - if you have sex. The little touches here and there (hold a spontaneous hug or hands), which lets you notice your spouse that you love him/her keep missing.
6. Too much hassle
Not a day goes by that you are not yelling at each other, whether you talk even not against each other and perform a silent war. Your healthy communication is nowhere in sight. Even when there is not even a (reasonable) reason to do so, you attack each other verbally as if the other person has just committed a crime.
7. Feelings of neglect
Being married means that you are always there for each other, support each other unconditionally and holds endless apart. Yet marriage is not always guaranteed these things. Although you crave the affection and physical and mental presences of your lover, your husband, is to look this far. You feel abandoned by the person who is still living with you.
The bills are piling up, you cannot pay more holidays, and you work together tremendously nervous as you are fond of money worries. It seems like a vicious circle. Little money gives much, causing tension between you, so you cannot reach a solution and causing more worries arise where your marriage suffers.
At your wedding, you have promised each other eternal loyalty and swore to one another forever love. Until your husband suddenly reveals that he/she has cheated. Your world collapses. The trust has been damaged between you, your intimacy is as good as gone - it feels like a stranger living together. A stranger who broke your heart, and still holds.
Or is it perhaps your job...?
Are you sure you want to save your marriage?
Now you have to think about the reason why you have reached the point of separation, you have hopefully a better idea of why your marriage is in bad shape. It is now up to you to decide if it's really worth fighting for your marriage. Do you think your love is strong enough to cope with your problems? Is your love worth saving?
Think of the times when it was indeed well between you. Those moments prove that you are indeed able to be with each other happy. Are you really willing to give that up? Are you willing to give him/her? Is a life without your spouse better than a life with?
How do you solve your marriage problems?
To prevent your marriage ends in a divorce, it is important that you address your problems and thus restores your relationship. Marriage is hard work, but when you can open to suggestions and willing to do whatever it takes, you will avoid a divorce. Also, check the tips in this article to improve your relationship.
1. Talk to your spouse about your marriage problems
Even though you may both feel the distance between each other, you cannot talk about out. However, by acknowledging the problem, you have to talk it out in other to find a solution. So if you keep your mouth shut, you will only suffer in silence - as well as your husband - and you shoot at nothing, you are there only are both unhappy with.
To save your marriage, you have to confess to your partner what bothers you. A wedding maintain is not a one-man job, the commitment must come from both sides. You have together decided to get married, so you must also work together.
However, it may be that your partner sees your recognition of your problems as something hurtful; he/she denies prefer that you removed mentally increasingly become a part of spouses. He/she is worried that if you admit that you have problems, it will collapse everything. But nevertheless, go with your partner in conversation. Things often get worse before they improve.
2. Focus your attention on yourself
To reduce the risk that you may further hurt your partner by pointing him/her on his / her mistakes and shortcomings, just point your attention to yourself. Tell your husband just your opinion about your marriage; try to give more generally what you think is wrong, without emphasizing who does what wrong.
On the basis of the rise of the problems, you can look for yourself at your own role in these problems. Will you then focus on how you can improve, but do not go your partner lecture? No one likes to hear that they are a bad husband. It is much better to use your energy and knowledge to find what you could do yourself differently.
3. Listen to each other and take joint decisions
Improve yourself is something you have to do yourself, but keep a marriage do you stand together. You have not promised anything eternal faith and anchor each other during your marriage ceremony; you have chosen each other and want to share your lives together. This also means that you will handle together setbacks - "in sickness and in health."
So do not go on your own to take all kinds of decisions about the future of your marriage. It is your wedding, so you have to take joint decisions. Both tell each other how you feel about certain things, and what you would like to see changed. This can develop the plan that you both will satisfy.
4. Eliminate (if any) bad habits
By looking at yourself, you will have some deeper reasons (reaction patterns, ways of thinking, etc.) discovered that your marriage may hurt, and you need to improve so. However, in some cases, it's much clearer where the problem lies. Your marriage problems, for example, caused by adultery, addiction (s) and/or constant anger.
To prevent your marriage going down these bad habits, it is important to eliminate this. But that's easier said than done. This supposedly clear cause of your marriage problems, which are often just too deep roots, roots that comprise much less obvious visible problems.
So adultery can be caused by feelings of neglect; lack of affection and intimacy and alcohol abuse can be interpreted as an escape mechanism for disputes. To eliminate the 'clearer' problems, so you'll first need to look at the core of the problem - the "hidden" problems - so (together!) To work on a solution.
5. Work on your intimacy
During your wedding day, you have to make clear each with as many words, actions, and gestures how much you love each other. Then, you took that because you are married, this was enough expression of your love. However, just the fact that you are married, does not mean that your love is guaranteed for one another.
Every couple showing affection in their own way. One couple calls as often as possible, "I love you!", while the other set would rather go for the subtle expressions of love, like a caress here and a passionate kiss there. The point is that you as spouses anyway show affection, and experienced some form of intimacy. Just a simple, spontaneous hug can bring so much.
So try - little by little - to build the intimacy between you again. Pay attention to the wishes of the other, but at the same time be passionate; do not hold back. By your passion, you show your spouse how much you care about him / her care.
6. Pull out together
Sometimes a holiday or a day out exactly what you need. The same applies to both spouses whose marriage is shaken. It is through just to get away and seek a new environment, you will be enabled to look at certain things with another head, and thus to create new insights and devise appropriate solutions.
Moreover, you are away on holiday triggers any of your problems. The only thing that you have both, is the other. You can concentrate briefly on anything other than your spouse, and all the reasons that you feel attracted to him/her. So you learn to revalue each other and are you to reinstall (or even more) in love