- Gender and Relationships
CHARACTER COUNTS TO FIND LOVE
Character counts if you seek to find love. "Life is short" is not a cliché—it is true! People who want to find love that will last a lifetime often focus on the wrong attributes of their potential candidates. Our society is addicted to predictable patterns of attraction that tend toward looks, money and similar interests. Character counts, and it is the best predictor of lasting love.
Character, in the moral sense, is the most important way we
can distinguish between individuals including normative and applied
ethics. Hopefully, we consider this when
selecting our friends. How much more so
does this apply when one selects another person to love and marry? The value of moral character has been
diminished in the eyes of many of our citizens in regard to public figures such as politicians or
celebrities. Character is of paramount importance when finding another
person to be in intimate relationship with for a lifetime; and to be happy with forever.
Character is formed early in life and includes a genetic component as well. It is expressed by behaviors and habits that reflect each individual's perception of virtues and vices. It is of ultimate importance that the moral character of a man and a woman are aligned, in order for them to sustain a lasting, loving relationship and marriage. There are heavily weighted variables that can be uncovered through brief psychological questionnaires, administered by a trained Doctor, a tuned in Professional Psychologist, who can shed invaluable light on predicting compatibility.
By concentrating on factors other than character, many people waste years of their lives that they can never retrieve. This is borne out by the staggering divorce rates in America today. And it is reflected in the lives of people with broken hearts who are now lonely and past their prime after experiencing the modern phenomena of "Quasi-Successful Serial Monogamous Relationships" (a sequence of fairly successful romantic entanglements). That is the foundation of my book This is the painful result of not considering the prime factor of long-term success in love, besides chemistry: Character counts! "Successfully Single Syndrome."
But all is not lost! Whether you are 22 or 62, you can find romantic love, and even marriage, by considering—first and foremost—that in the long run, the similarity of the characteristics in the person with whom you get involved and your own. This is not easy to discern. How many of us have dated someone for months only to have that epiphanous moment when we realize they are not right for us. Many times there have been "red flags" but we consciously chose to ignore them because we don't want to give up, despite the handwriting on the wall. My hope is that my readers will think about this carefully and in the future make it their mission to discern the character of a man or woman whom they consider a prime candidate for their affections. To find love, one would do well to consult a Matchmaker who is a Psychologist. A Professional Matchmaker will possess the ability to study her clients, and trained to match two people with a high probability for success. Follow your matchmaker's input. Because character counts!