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23 Characteristics of a Good Husband
Characteristics of a Good Husband
When a man is married, his intention is to be a loving husband and an aced father. It is his desire to be uplifting and supportive from the moment he happily took your marriage vow and promised, “Until death do us part.” And after a woman’s marriage her husband becomes not only her life partner, but also her best friend. He is the first one whom she addresses for any joys or sorrows. Every woman dreams of her prince charming, the perfect guy for her who will take her into her magical dream world full of love, but some men after the honeymoon, find themselves struggling to keep to their promises. As years go by the woman’s attractiveness waned and the man's responsibilities increased and suddenly the man is no longer the lively husband the woman thought he would be. Of course, no single guy is perfect or possesses all the qualities a woman dreams about, but trying a bit to incorporate a few good qualities goes a long way and make their relationship better and their life happier. For women out there who are in search for a husband and all you husbands trying to please their wife, I present to you some of the characteristics of a good husband:
1. HE IS GENTLE
It is remarkable what gentleness bestows on a husband who practices it. Gentleness will elicit a feeling of goodwill in the mind of a woman and act as oil removes friction from an engine and cause it to run smoothly, so will gentleness remove apparently insurmountable obstacles from the pathway of your relationship. It is the greatest marital lubricant in the world. No woman wants to put her children into a dangerous and degrading situation, so find a man who is gentle with you and the kids.
The key to a successful relationship is mutual trust and understanding. Trust is the building block of a relationship, because you have to be able to trust this man to provide for the family, to treat you well, and to raise your children the proper way. In the end, everything comes down to trust. If you can't take a man at his word, then you live your entire life wondering what the next surprise is going to be. Many women view this kind of man to be a challenge or a mystery to be solved. He should be able to trust you on each and everything and at the same time be trustworthy too. He should not spy on you or be suspicious of you.
3. HE IS HONEST
Honesty is a bright and shining quality on the part of a husband who strives to make the most of life’s possibilities, especially marriage. It irradiates his entire environment, making plain the path of duty, and therefore the path which leads to the most enduring marriage. It is the bond of union and the basis of marital happiness. Without this virtue, there is no security in promises and marital vow. Truth is always consistent and needs nothing to help it out. But one lie needs many more to make it believable. However, guileless may be a man's intentions, the lying habit, if indulged, may take root, and gain on him under the cover of various pretenses, until it usurps a leading influence. One lie unavoidably leads on to another, until he is entangled in his own snare. Falsehood is difficult to maintain. Deceit and falsehood are obstacles to happiness. The origin of deceitfulness is always to be found in the motives of husbands who are possessed only by the spirit of selfishness. There is virtually no virtue which does not originate from truth. Likewise, there is no vice which does not originate from a lie. Truth is the foundation of all knowledge and the cement of all marriages.
A good husband doesn’t need to be independently wealthy or is a top-level executive, but a man who takes pride in providing for his family. He's self-motivated, has a healthy degree of ambition, and has an idea how to go about providing for a family. From time immemorial, women have looked for hard working men who provide a good future for them and their family.
5. HAS GOOD SENSE OF JUSTICE
Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.” But in modern time the Golden Rule have taken a back seat to the pleasure that some men derive from infidelity, adultery and many of the other evils of today. What is the solution to this cancerous evil? A man without a good sense of justice would want to cheat on his wife but will feel angry if his wife does the same. A good husband will understand that whatever he does for or against his wife inevitably comes back to him.
6. SPENDS TIME WITH HIS FAMILY
Most people get married with the assumption they're going to build a family together. The marriage arrangement isn't going to work very well if the father doesn't enjoy spending time with the family and helping to raise the children. If the father assumes he's going to make money while the mother is going to hold down a job, do the cooking and cleaning, and take care of the children, way too much of the burden falls on her. So in contemporary world, every woman wants a husband who's going to enjoy time spent on family activities. If he spends all his time at work or with his friends, he's not going to be much of a husband or a father.
Without tolerance, regardless of the number of other virtues a husband possesses, he would not possibly have a magnetic personality. Many men lack this quality and this might account, in no small measure, to the chaotic condition of marriages today. Tolerance means to be open-minded. Men tend to get set in their ways, so if you marry a man who is too opinionated, hard-headed, and close-minded at a young age, he's going to be obstinate and completely unyielding when he gets older. Open-mindedness implies having an open mind to new ideas. Tolerance does not mean willingness to change your own opinions but rather recognition of the rights of your wife to have hers.
8. HAS SELF-CONTROL
Self-control is a difficult thing to attain. It takes self-discipline to achieve and every earnest, sincere husband must endeavor to maintain it. Diderot, a French philosophy said, “It is the man that is cool and collected that is master of his countenance, his voice, his actions, his gestures, of every part, who can work upon others at his pleasure.” The husband who has no self-control is always at the mercy of his moods and circumstances. Sidney Newton Bremer wrote, “To remain calm and unmoved under severe provocation, to resist every irritable impulse, every inclination to say harsh, unkind things, even when one’s most vulnerable point has been assailed, requires spiritual stamina and a force of character far greater than that demanded of the hero in a merely physical contest.” A good husband should not be impulsive, but should be self-restrained, self-balanced, and governed by the joint decision of his mental faculties, in order to reach decisions after he has been fully debated and calmly determined. The possession of self-control is true strength and wisdom.
9. ADMITS WHEN HE’S WRONG
The man who admits when he's wrong and who's willing to apologize and mean it is rare, they always like to believe they're right. They don’t like to admit they're wrong. But if you are married to someone who is constitutionally unable to admit they are wrong under any circumstances, you're in for a very long and argumentative marriage. The only other option is to meekly agree with everything he says and believes, and that's no fun.
10. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
This is a key factor for any relationship to be successful. Any misunderstanding should be sorted out that day itself. He should be able to understand your problems, your difficulties, what you are trying to explain to him and communicate freely without any barriers. So if you are dating a man who won't listen to your opinion and hear what you're saying, don't marry him. It's one of the most frustrating things in the world for your husband to ignore you when you need to vent or when you just need a shoulder to cry on. He should take out some time to talk to you, however, this is only possible if you put your ego aside and communicate with your partner.
11. HE IS DECISIVE
A good husband must be able to make prompt decision on issues that affects his family. He must show resourcefulness, swiftness, and top-notch decision-making skills. There are occasions when action must be taken at once. There is not time to carefully calculate the chances. The man must make his decision without undue delay. Froude wrote, “A tree must be rooted in the soil before it can bear flowers or fruits.” Therefore a man must be decisive before he can effectively head his family. Not to decide is to decide for failure. There is a gradient between the two termini, and procedural integrity of a good husband consists in the ability to make a credible decision with partial knowledge. Prompt decision and sublime audacity have carried many successful marriages over perilous crises, where procrastination would have caused great disaster. A hesitating, wavering, undecided husband cannot be in control in his house, as a result he could ruin what would have been a beautiful marriage. Most wives admire husbands with manly firmness, who knows what to do in any given circumstances.
Another important skill in marriage is the ability to forgive. This requires a certain sense of mercy, a certain magnanimity that many people don't have. This is one the great weaknesses of men. That trait has cost several relationships. Forgiveness is often couched in terms of religion, but whether you are spiritual or not, the ability to forgive your spouse their failings is important. Nobody is perfect, so if your wife makes a real effort to improve and make penance, forgiving that her is essential.
13. HAS MASCULINE STRENGTH
Women often like to feel secure by finding a man who appear manly, aggressive, physically strong, and capable of meeting the world and earning the upkeep of their families. It's nice to have a man who stands up for himself and defends his family against any adversity. A woman is supposed to respect a man for his inherent qualities not fear him. One young man claimed, after five years of married life, that he and his wife had never exchanged a cross word. He claimed that they were in perfect agreement on every subject they had ever discussed. When the wife was contacted, however, it became apparent that the reason for this seemingly perfect agreement was that the poor woman dared not lift her voice in protest against the policies of the macho man for fear of being beaten. Hers was not a happy lot even though there had not been disagreements.
It is a quality which both the persons in a relationship should possess. Be faithful to her. Do not cheat on your wife, ever. Being faithful to each other increases your trustworthiness altogether and makes your relationship long lasting. She should never have to worry about you cheating on her every time you go on a night out with your friends. A faithful husband does not mean your hubby should be restricted from talking to other women, but should not sleep with them.
15. HAS GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR
There should be love and laughter in every home so a guy with a good sense of humor is like a jackpot. When a man has a sense of humor, he will experience the daily joy of a vibrant, life-giving relationship with his wife. Whether the circumstances of a man's life are unpleasant or joyful and glorious, he must try to be humorous because most of his time is spent with his better half. Challenges and struggles take a different air when a man handles them with a sense of humor. These challenges may be just what he needs for his marriage to grow strong. In its presence all frictions disappear; fear, worries, hate, jealousy, frustrations, revenge, anxiety, and doubts become dissolved. It works like magic. It is the great miracle worker of all time. Women love guys who can make them laugh and adds a spark to the relationship. Humor gives the relationship a new dimension and keeps it fresh and healthy.
One of the many qualities all the husbands must possess is being dependable. Your wife should be able to depend on you for any work she asks for help with. She must be sure you won’t disappoint her. The thing may be as little as dating location or even a big event as raising your kids altogether. If she can depend on you for each and everything, there will be sparks in your relationship.
17. SHOWS LOVE
Wives desire to be loved. When a husband and a wife live together in affection, it results in probably what can be described as the happiest state of life on earth. But when the family is disrupted by misunderstanding and conflict it creates an unhealthy state, one of continuing adverse effect in the lives of all, especially the children. A woman wants her husband to focus on her, to give her time, and to do things with her. One woman said this about her rich husband, “We used to go places and do things when we were newly married, but now he is too busy and has no time for me.” The man was angry when his wife complained of negligence. “I want the best for her. I want her to be well provided for. That is why it hurts so much when she is always bickering I spend too much time on the job. I am working so hard for us but she seems not to understand.” Take a walk, just two of you. In restaurants, you can easily distinguish a dating couple from a married couple. While dating couple will be looking at each other and talking, the married couple will be preoccupied looking around the restaurant instead at each other. Spend a weekend in a holiday resort sometimes with the children and sometimes without them. Make time every day to share with each other some of the events of the day when it is possible. When you spend more time watching the news than you do listening to each other, you end up more concerned about the troubled spots of the world than your wife. When you love someone unconditionally, you give that person almost everything without their demands. Unconditional love is the purest form of love in this world. The man who treats your wish as his command is like a jackpot for you.
18. TAKES GOOD CARE OF HIS APPEARANCE
A good appearance talks and it is a premium everywhere. People look at you and make a quick and often subconscious appraisal, and then treat you accordingly. The well-dressed husband’s appearance says positive things. Here is an important person; intelligent, prosperous and dependable. The man is looked up to, trusted. The American Institute of Men’s and Boys’ Wear once sponsored an advertisement which said, “Dress Right. You Can’t Afford Not To.” This is very correct. She never leaves his home without feeling certain he looks like the kind of person he wants to be. He uses his dressing as a tool to lift his spirit up, and help him build confidence in himself. Your appearance talks to you and it also talks to others. Get a new suit and tie. Have your shirt pressed. Shine your shoes. Have nice haircut. How you look on the outside is a reflection of how you feel inside.
A relationship is about give and take. A good husband should sometimes compromise things to make his wife happy. For example, you could compromise on your “night with the boys” if your wife is not feeling well or something else as the case may be. It doesn’t mean you have to compromise each and every time for your wife. Doing this once in a while makes her feel that she is your number one priority.
Cooperation should begin at home. After all the marriage institution is the binding force of our social order. If it is treated with due respect, care and consideration, it will greatly enhance individual’s happiness and consequently the good of all. Behind every successful man is a woman,” is a common adage. Many men have risen from obscurity to fame, and publicly acknowledged in the days of his triumphant victory that he received the sympathy and encouragement of his wife during the long and weary years of toil. There is no doubt that the influence of a woman in the home is immense. The power of a wife for good or for evil is altogether irresistible. For a successful marriage, the home must be the seat of happiness, harmony and cooperation. When you have confidence in each other, you will work together in a spirit of harmony and cooperation; and the seeds properly sown will spring forth with fruits that will blossom forever. There is nothing comparable to a well regulated, happy home. It is a heaven below, where each thought will vibrate in perfect unison. Nothing starts the day well for a husband on the way up, than to depart the home with: ”Have a good day!” The well wishes of a loving wife. In these few words are wrapped up all the ammunition the man needs for the day’s life battle. This wish would have come from the understanding by the wife that, “The right hand needs the left hand to tie a bundle.” That is cooperation in practice. Husbands and wives need to work together for the greater good of their marriage, not work against each other because they have differences.
A good husband is a one who supports you through your good and bad moments. Being with you when you need him is not enough, being with you even when he is not required is a quality of being supportive. He’ll push you to do things that you want to, even if you are reluctant to do them now. He should listen to you and guide you to the right path and support your decision. Be it your career move or any other personal or professional decision, he should support you. And mind it, if he doesn’t always support you, doesn’t mean he is not supportive. It means he does not think you are on the right path and wants to be a good counselor to you.
22. SEXUAL CAPABLE
Between husband and wife, sexual intimacy is proper and wonderful. It’s a gift from God and a vital part of any healthy marriage relationship. This is what Paul said about marital sex: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). This passage reminds men and women that sexual intimacy is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience meant for married couples. Lovemaking enriches and deepens the relationship between a husband and his wife. Typically it takes time, effort, and communication for some women to experience pleasure in sex. Therefore a man and woman who have made a lifetime commitment to each other can focus on their pleasure.
23. GOD FEARING
A good husband with the fear of God forgives, loves, and encourages his wife. He is not selfish, controlling, or overbearing. He reflects positive qualities such as peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.