Chastity Today: True Love Waits

On the internet I found the pro-celibacy group ‘True Love Waits’, that is growing increasingly popular in America. The group launched its international campaign for celibacy in February 1996 in Atlanta. 340,000 signed pledge cards were stacked up to the roof and beyond at the Georgia Dome. Then again hundreds of thousands of students joined this incredible campaign in February 2000. So what were the pledges about?

“Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, mate, and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.”

From February 8-14, 1999, the American Life League (ALL) publicly encouraged celibacy among the unmarried and sexual fidelity among married couples.

What’s happening? Some say that there’s been a scare because of the uprising of the AIDS virus. But it seems like there is another more profound reason: spiritual awareness is growing and more and more young people are realizing that it is not stuffy to say no to sex and that all that sexual freedom has led to a certain weariness and hollowness in their lives.

Lakita Garth, a successful recording artist and entertainer in Los Angeles has much to say about the subject. In the article – ‘The World according to Garth’, the lady tells high school students that respect is central to the relationship between the opposite sexes. “Neither one will set the other one up for heartache, for no condom can protect your heart.”

She speaks of being laughed at by other students because she was a virgin but she says these same girls are now working in unfulfilling jobs in order to look after their babies. Some of them have two babies from two different men. Garth consulted and hosted UPN's Emmy-nominated show "The Truth About Sex."

Research has shown the price of free sex can be very high: pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, the trauma and guilt of abortion, confusion and doubt, alcohol and drug abuse, failed relationships, even suicidal tendencies.

There are people who still get sick and pregnant even with ‘precautions’. According to Planned Parenthood Ottawa’s web page, a condom is 90% effective only when used properly. Even with Depo Provera, there is a 3 in 1000 chance of getting pregnant. Some say that abortion is always available, but it can make a woman sterile.

Health care experts agree that the only sure way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is to say no to sex altogether before marriage. In fact, AIDS is galloping ahead in India which has twenty five percent of the world’s HIV struck population. In AIDS ravaged Africa grandparents look after their grandchildren because the parents have perished due to the virus.

Sure, a lot of people will find it ‘stuffy’ when they are reminded by the great religions such as Christianity and Buddhism that the sexual act is actually sacred since it’s function is in the first place, reproduction. It is not a means of indulgence. But this great truth can take a long time, sometimes a whole lifetime to sink in, yet it is the reason why most spiritual cultivators choose chastity.

Young people in America are realizing that when sex is absent from a relationship, true friendship steps in and those involved can see each other clearly. The opposite sex is no longer a source of physical pleasure, but to be appreciated for who he or she really is. Not for sexual performance or looks or for any externals. And because you view your relationship differently, it changes for the better.

“The bottom line is purity. Purity is respecting yourself and others – body, mind, soul, and spirit. Purity is refusing to use another person as a date for an event, a fun way to pass time, or a means for pleasure….It’s hard and sometimes complicated work – but it’s worth all the effort.”

Twenty year old Elizabeth from Cleveland says: “Chastity a burden? No, it’s quite the opposite. It’s light. It lets you free from all the chains of sin, and lets you see things in their right perspective…I choose dating partners based on how much they respect me. If they care enough to spend our time doing other things besides sleeping together, then I will stay with them. I have had relationships that lasted 1-2 years because I met guys who said they would wait for me, even though they had already had sexual experiences.”

Says the 22 year old Kristi from Florida: “I have no worries about what any of my relationships are about, whether they are romantic or not. I can see how a life of celibacy frees a person to relate more honestly with others.” If you are afraid that you will not find a date because you say no to sex, remember that true love will not pressure you into something that could hurt you in any way. It is in fact a most accurate way to test your lover’s sincerity and commitment to you. A person’s love should never be dependent on whether you have sex or not. It should depend rather on commitment and values, not on the performance of an act.

The great thing is that that when you do marry, you will be friends forever with your spouse, even when the sexual tension fades as it almost always does.

Check out www.lutheransforlife.org and get inspired.