- Gender and Relationships»
- Non-Monogamous Relationships
Cheater Cheater – Why Do I Stay With You?
There are many reasons why someone would stay with a cheater and while many people claim that they would leave their partner as soon as they find out they have cheated – that’s not always the case.
The amount of excuses and reasons for staying with a cheater are many, and it depends on how much the person has been hurt, how they feel about their partner, and how much they have invested into the relationship.
Here are 6 common reasons that people stay with a cheater.
Have You Ever Been Cheated On?
Staying out of Responsibility
Many people will stay in a relationship for the responsibilities that they already have in it. This includes kids and material things such as the house and summer chalet that they are paying off.
They feel that they have to stay to keep their kids happy and in the dark to marital problems.
They feel that the house is still theirs and the commitment to having it truly be theirs will only come when they pay it off.
Responsibility to our lives and family is what keeps us going to our job and doing the best we can in life. Without it we would do whatever we wanted – like leave our cheating spouse!
Staying out of Guilt
Cheaters are brilliant talkers. They have spent a lot of their time lying and they are very good at it. They are also good at making you feel bad about the situation when you have done nothing wrong. They will tell you that it’s your fault they cheated because you don’t give them enough attention, love, or whatever else they desire.
Even though they are the ones that did the physical act of cheating you are left wondering if what they did was validated and you are really the one who did wrong. Many people stay and try to improve upon themselves when they feel like this.
Staying out of Love
Sometimes a betrayal is not enough to change the way someone views a person. The love for that person may be so deep and strong that they are willing to look past any problems and just keep trying to get their partner to love them as much as they love their partner. Of course most cheaters love this kind of person because they can do what they want and it only propels their partner to try harder to get them to love him or her.
Staying out of Fear
Ah fear! It holds us back from so many things! When we are fearful of life outside the relationship we may not allow ourselves to leave our cheating partner. The world seems scary and big and we already have a comfortable life where we know what is happening at every turn. Fear can keep a person in a bad relationship and allow a person to be walked on over and over again.
Staying out of Low Self-Esteem
When you’ve been beaten down by your partner you can start to wonder if you are worth any better. If you let that feeling take over than you will allow yourself to be abused and walked on over and over again. Leaving the relationship isn’t an option because you don’t feel you deserve any better so why go through the hassle.
Staying Because of Promises
They promise that they will never cheat again, and they seem so sincere. The truth is they probably are being sincere because they were caught and they feel bad, but if you don’t fix the issues in the relationship then you will probably be in this situation again as soon as they realize that everything is okay and they are out of the deep water.
So should you stay with a cheater? It depends on whether you are going to tell yourself one of the above things, or whether you want to fix the relationship issues that you have, or whether you want to find someone else who treats you well.
In the end only you know which one that is.