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What is Cheating?

Updated on August 7, 2009

There was a story that a girlfriend, at the time, told me about this guy trying to score with her.

She asked him if he had a girlfriend, which he said he did, but that she wouldn't mind because their relationship was "open".

When she told him that she was seeing someone else, he responded, "Well if I do things to only you, it not considered CHEATING.

Well, I think it would be. I also think his girl wouldn't approve.

Now, it brings us the question. "What is considered cheating? Lets start with one that is mostly innocent, then work our way to the more serious transgressions.


We all flirt. It is a natural human behavior. A smile, a little joke, just being charming. Flirting provocatively is another matter. Laying the groundwork for a later tryst while still with someone,is to me a form of cheating.


Dancing, like music, changes with the times. Today's dancing is much more physical, which is okay. What is not okay, is when you touch someone inappropriately, like rubbing your hands, face, and yes, even your crotch on someone else that is not your s/o. Some find people find this kind of thing behavior acceptable. I don't think so.


This one, some women I know can relate. Sharing secrets with another, things you didn't tell your s/o, is in their eyes, cheating. Connecting with someone on a emotional level is worse than a sexual one. I don't think, in most cases that is true. If you tell them to a relative stranger, I would agree. Telling them to someone you knew for a long time, then I think that is okay to do so.


Okay, now I have personally have been to a few strip clubs, while in a relationship. These women were okay with it, as long as I didn't touch the strippers. If a woman had a problem with me going to one, I didn't go. I think it is okay for women to go to male strip clubs if all parties are in agreement. So with that said, is it cheating if you go to one and not tell your s/o? Looking only and not touching, I think it is.


I listed them both here because I think they are both unacceptable under any circumstance. Some say that just talking on the phone is okay if it a stranger you never met. Others say that as long as masturbation is not involved; there no harm done in it. I think if you were actually there, something would happen.


This one is obviously the most serious. It also, beleive it or not, has the most varied opinion. Any sexual contact with another while in a relationship is just wrong. This also means: kissing, fondling, and caressing. One might say "We only kissed". or, I just grabbed her a*s. Not acceptable in my opinion.


I left this one last because this was a personal experience. Do you believe it is okay for your s/o to receive a gift of a personal nature from someone he/she barely knew? I made a huge issue out of it because I knew where would lead. That very thing happened. Do you believe this to be cheating? I thought so.

So, what do you think? What is cheating to you? Did another situation happened not listed here? Were you the victim, or the transgressor? Let's hear the story.

One finally thought. I believe that each gender thinks differently about what is right or wrong with this situation. Do you believe this to be true? Just my opinion.


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