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- Non-Monogamous Relationships
Cheating: Tell or Not Tell?
I was a huge fan of the reality TV show "Cheaters". I watched it faithfully every weekend on my TV station, WUAB 43 in Cleveland. Some of the confrontations are funny, but most of the time they were more heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking because that person had to find out their significant other was cheating on them on National TV, instead of being upfront with them. And, the person who's doing the cheating not only puts their mate in danger. But, they can also put other's lives in danger (i.e. former host Joey Greco's infamous stabbing incident on a boat on the show).
Here's the age-old, cliché question, "Why do people cheat?" People cheat on their significant others for various reasons: individual reasons, lonely. unfulfilled, relationship issues or just being horny. Some people cheat when the relationship is going good while others cheat will their relationships hit its course. Another factor that plays into infidelity is a lack of communication. Couples don't talk about the problems of their relationship. If they attempt to talk, it usually leads to lots of arguing and fighting. People who partake in cheating are willing to do the misdeed, or know people that they've done the misdeed. But, they're not willing to tell the significant other.
Most people feel that they shouldn't tell their significant other if they're cheating on them. They feel, "What she don't know won't hurt her". Or, they're afraid of the backlash and hell they're gonna get from their mates. Now, if this someone that you don't have emotional ties with (i.e. booty call or friends with benefits) that's a whole another disscussion for another hub. If you've cheated on someone that you really care about then you should tell them. No matter what the outcome may be: they might forgive you, they might leave you or hell they might even try to kill you. But, if you're grown enough to lay down with that person, be grown enough to tell your significant other. Because other complications can come along with the consequences of your actions such as pregnancy and STDs.
I'm writing about this from experience. Four and a half years ago, I cheated on my girlfriend with an old friend of mine from high school. Yes, we used protection when we messed around with each other. I did it for various reasons: lonely, frustrated, lack of communication and I was horny. Even though, I was scared, nervous and hurt about what I did, I went on and told her because we always said that we were gonna be honest with each other, no matter how ugly the situation may be. Plus, I couldn't have lived with myself keeping it from her. And, I felt if I was man enough to lay down and have sex with her; I should be man enough to tell her. Yes, she was very upset with me, upset to the point where she almost left me. It took a toll on our relationship for a long time. But, eventually she forgave me, but I don't think she has moved on. We're still together, and we are still trying to work our issues out. Things are a little bit better now than they were a few months ago. But, sometimes I feel like that she looks at me, and is reminded of the transgression that I've done. No matter the outcome, tell you're significant other no matter the outcome. It just won't benefit them in the long run, it'll benefit you too.