ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Cheating in Relationships: Why it hurts men more

Updated on January 10, 2015

I remember my first love, but I swear I do not miss her. I can remember her smile, our first kiss and how awkward it turned out to be, the day we met and so on. I cannot forget how she left. I caught her red handed with another lad. She couldn’t accept and tried arguing that I never trust her and always think she is cheating on me. Well, as a man, I said we needed space.

Last month, my boy experienced such a scenario. His was worse, he caught both the missus and the mistress cheating on him. As a man, I let him have a double of whiskey on me, we went and shot pool together and finally patted his back and said all will be well. I did not hug him. A friend of mine, a girl, was telling me how she once cheated on her man with their neighbor. Six years later, today, the man has never forgotten and keeps reminding her of the day he caught her. The man has never trusted her and she guesses that most probably the man has a mistress. Though she tells me she is changed, the man has never gotten over the cheating.

When we men cheat on our women, which we most often do, we do not mean to hurt and it does not mean our love to you has melted down to that. We love you, which is why we married you and not the mistress. But a man is a man, he will meet a temptress in a club. He will see a girl who crosses her legs and every man mistakenly drinks from his friend’s glass. He will see this lady in a club who sips her drink so romantically that he wishes to buy her a double of whiskey. She sips the drink without leaving lipstick on the glass. The way she stretches after a few glasses is the killer and men are weak. We will cheat but we promise it ends when we say goodbye after dropping her to her gate (unless we meet her in the same club again).

What hurts a lady when cheated on is the love she has for the guy. When married, it becomes hard for a lady to leave (I know single ladies are shouting “WHAT??!!”). Yes, it becomes hard to leave. If the man apologizes, vows not to repeat and comes home before 9 at night for a few weeks, its done. The woman regains her love. Well, the man will not have it as easy after repeated cheating but a trip to Paris will heal the wound, maybe. Women will not find it a big deal saying he cheated on me. They will even share their feelings on love columns in love magazines and seek help. The most probable answer is leave and do not look back. C’mon guys, this lady has two children with this guy and the guy still loves her.

You do not hurt the heart of a man when you cheat on him (unless he is a soap star). It gets to his head. It is his ego that you hurt. It is like you have stripped you man naked in front of beautiful girls (his lady boss included) on the day he is wearing dirty pants. It is his esteem that you wound, you have stained his esteem and he feels worthless. It is like you went on TV and said that you man does not perform in met (do not try this even in the presence of his best friend). It is like you have boiled all the night you have slept with your man to nothing. Sincerely speaking, it is like when you are swimming and someone uses you white towel to wipe their legs after stepping on mud or worse still shit from a mongrel and then leaves it for you to use. Just compare the feeling and leave the shit story.

No doubles of whiskey can make a man forget this. No pastor can talk him into ever trusting you again. Not even after he cheats on you a million times. Not even after friends pat his back saying its okay or go shoot pool together. His ego is broken.

You can win his trust back by showing him you are changed, show him there is more to your relationship. Making no mistake of chitchatting with your neighbor and laughing for more than 10 minutes. Make his best meal and let him feel the love. Do not speak to him about the ordeal ever. But, he will never forget what you did. Whenever you wrong him, he will remind you of the time you cheated on him.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)