- Gender and Relationships
Marriage In A Christian Relationship
Having a Religion can be good and it can have it's negative effects in many aspects. Religion allows you to create a personal relationship with your God. It allows you to practice faith in all that you do, it fosters, love, trust, honesty and commitment. All the qualities which any decent religious person should have. But the downside of being religious is that many times you have to trust blindly, hope blindly and move forward blindly. Marriage in Christianity is one of those gambles that nearly all Christians make and hope that the Lord will bless the union and it will last forever. Many christian marriages have failed due ti this misconception of how marriage in Christianity should be. The thing is, Christians have it much more difficult than non-Christians when it comes on to dating and relationships. They are prohibited from indulging in certain questionable lifestyle, and many churches believe in the equal yoke theory. So what is the equal yolk theory you ask? Well, it is widely discouraged by the church for members of a certain deity to involve with members of a different deity. Or if a Sunday worshiper desires to be in a relationship with a Saturday church worshiper, or a christian being in a relationship with a non-Christan. If any of these scenarios is present between any two persons, it is considered to be of unequal yolk and one party (mainly the christian) must win over the other person in order for the relationship to be blessed.
What these walls lead to is Christians staying in the realm of Christians to foster what many believe is a better relationship based upon the same faith and goals. The thing is that you cannot use religion alone to solidify any relationship. Before any of us were ordained Christians, Muslims, Rastafarian, priest or pope, we were all born first as humans. Our natural instincts as humans allow us to pursue our own destinies, set our own dreams and goals, many of them however we do share with our partners, but many times our own destiny and emotions takes us down a fork in the road and then a choice will have to be made. Many times christians travel down this very same road and will have to make serious decisions in which direction they must take.
Relationship Difficulties With Christians
So as the equal yolk rule exist within the church, christian women and men are basically forced to find someone within the same church or church of the same denomination. Its all good to share the love of God mutually, but God's love is a general love which spreads over all good Christians, but the love of a man to a woman and a woman to a man is a special love which needs to be understood by Christians. It is the same feelings non Christians feel towards their spouse, the same emotions, the same wanting the person to hug, touch and kiss. But Christians have to be very vigilant, as certain actions may lead them to the condemned fornication. Emotions have to be mummified and scooped under the church carpet and some good ole christian talk takes presidence. What you find with this is that many Christians do find it difficult to express their true emotions as it is totally bound by what is right to say and what is wrong to say. So a single beautiful lady in church is faced with the unwanted stock of men which comes to church every Sunday and sings and praise. She is getting up into age and will just satisfy with who ever comes up to her and says "Will You," without even finishing the sentence her answer will always be yes! The thing about this type of marriage commitment is that it is not truly based upon a mutual love but rather desperation and rule. Desperation meaning that the woman fears being too old and not being married to have a husband and children, and the rule in which christian people should be married before any form of sexual actions between the same.
This is what is called Blind Marriage. Couples who do not truly love and understand each other decide to get married based upon desperation, rule or religion. Even if a few work out, many will simply not work.
Developing Problems From Not Really Knowing Your Partner
When Christians venture into blind marriages, they go in on faith hoping that their God will eventually work things out for them. There are a few who will ride out such marriage and will never let go no matter the circumstances, but there are others who simply cannot bear the burden of being in such a relationship. People who marry blind normally do not get to know there partner deeply until they begin to spend that closeness with them. They then begin to know the person a little deeper and many times knowing what they now know will eventually lead to controversy.
Sex is always a big part of any relationship no matter how it is down played. If a christian woman or man dives blindly into marriage and finds out that her partner is short on any package which is needed for a healthy sexual relationship, one partner will not be pleased. Normally when this happens it is advisable to seek counseling to try and find a solution. But many solutions do get monotonous and then the frustration returns. Yes, they can probably ignore that aspect of the relationship and simply focus on God's love, but there are those who simply need a little more that prayer to be satisfied.
- Emerging Personality
Can you live with that person being that person? OK, you now realize that your vocal husband who sings praises and worship in church is not so vocal when is wife is being disrespected. Instead he cowers and says nothing. Will this couple continue to be faithful to each other and love honor and obey?
When a christian marries blindly, she/he marries the persons wealth are debt. If the situation is the latter, they will have to commit to a lifestyle where they may eventually don't even have food to eat or a roof over their head. If the faith is weak or the christian couple both believe each can do better on their own, well the relationship will be another jigsaw puzzle.
- Creating a Family
Being a christian doesn't mean that it is inevitable for you to have a child or ready to have a child. One partner may simply not be ready or will deter from the idea of wanting a child. This problem many times lead to infidelity in christian marriages, frustration and divorce.
What To Do When Facing Marital Problems
As Christians, a much more suttle approach should always be taken when working out martial problems. Here are the basic steps in marital problem control in which Christians can use as a guide to help fix such faulty marriages.
As a christian, if you believe in your faith, the first thing you should do is pray about the issues and place them at the feet of God so he can guide you along the way.
- Speak with your partner
This is a must in not only christian marriages but non-christian marriages. You would find that a little communication goes a long way. Try to compromise, work out ideas with each other and see where it goes from there.
- Speak with your Church Leader
Even Christians need privacy, not every church goer likes to consult with their pastor when they have problems, but if you truly follow the path of Christianity this is what should be done if the problem cannot be worked out and becomes over bearing. A christian should be without pride and shame when dealing with agents of God.
- Try Counseling
You can always seek professional marriage counseling. Many people have received help this way and have saved their marriage.
Do you believe Christians are entitled to a Divorce if the marriage does not work?
Christian Marriages That Work
A strong christian marriage which is founded by God's divine love and the natural love between the couple is a beautiful thing and tends to last an entire lifetime. Even though blind Christian marriages fail, the divorce rate of Christians compared to non-Christians is actually 50% less. Why is non-Christians twice the chance of getting a divorce is that strong christian couples place God at the center of their relationships instead of focusing directly at the problem at hand or the individual. They are endowed in faith, hope, loyalty and commitment.
When Christians blind marry, it will take a lot more work, understanding and endurance to build a solid relationship erected from the foundation of God.