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Christian Marriages

Updated on March 16, 2015

You're Beautiful, Full of Beauty

Marriage is successful only when God is the center

How do you define marriage?

The maritial relation should be primary, which means that the marriage takes priority over all others human relationships. That means over our parents, over our work, over our friends, etc. Of course we are not to exclude them but our spouse's needs, hopes, dreams should be considered first over everyones else (besides GOD OF COURSE).

Genesis 2:24

King James Version

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

New Living Translation

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Marriage is designed to provide incomparable intimacy for the two only. The parental relation with our parents becomes secondary. Even in the union of marriage the children should be addressed after (and not before) the two parties becoming one. The institute of marriage is that the two shall become one flesh. Children are a result of marriage by choice, it is not the purpose of marriage but it is by choice and a fulfilling one I might add. Children are a blessing and should be well loved and respected in that regard but not held in high esteem over your spouse. God in the center of the union insures success when both partners are in agreement. When God is the center of the union and both are in agreement, it is very, very hard to break that connection / union because when God is involved, all things are possible.

read the Ephesians 5:22-33.

God's word is here to guide us to a better life, a better marriage

We not me!

Two essential characteristics of marriage relation is UNITY and INTIMACY.

Unity - it is no longer "I" but "WE".

It is no longer "I" but "YOU AND I".

Intimacy - sharing on a exclusive level which requires genuine LOVE, TRUST, FAITH & COMMITMENT.

What's mine is yours and what's your is mine or better said,

what's mine is ours and what's your is ours.

Marriage really shows how unselfish we really are. It'll reveal how giving we are.

If both parties get married and do not share on an exclusive level, there is a issue of trust that needs to be addressed and dealt with. Without trust, the relationship will not have a fulfilling end or reach it's best potential for the couple.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Amplified Bible

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

New Living Translation

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?

God's word is better than advice, it's foundation for the best life

Is it better that our partner be our friend also?

"A friend (OUR PARTNER SHOULD BE CALLED ONE) is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out". Or for a life long partners, "You complete me" . We can all learn how to really like someone when we find out how to make them laugh, however we can never really love someone until we find out what makes them cry and do our very best not to make them cry.

Marriage just like every other form or relationship is all about communication which basically is formulating each persons feelings, desires, beliefs, expectations (within reason) and experiences (respectfully) to reach a common ground. Then to transmit that information (which should be valuable), process each others expression for clarity, verifying and observing, listening to our partner from our heart to relate with one another better. In some cases (if not most) our partner may only need to share something and may not want us to solve it. They may just need a shoulder to cry on, a hug, in short they want to connect and relate (share) with us.

Hearing and listening are two different things. Hearing tells us the radio is on but we're not noticing (or tuned in ) what's going on. Listening is tuning in, recognizing the tune, even turning it up (perhaps getting closer to them) so nothing is missed from their delivery, confirming the dialog, acknowledging the other completely.

Encouraging one another is essential for a successful marriage. Put downs, over talking each other, impatient gestures, name calling that irriates your mate only places walls up for the relationship which can lead to separation in the future.

Couple should share with high regard to the other persons feelings doing all can to encourage, help, pray with them (A HUGE PLUS) and practice the grace of empathy on all levels. Seeing things from our spouse's point of view and vice versa is vitally important or else it will not work. Everyone needs to feel loved and that they are valued.

Proverbs 18:22 - whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.

Mark 10:9 - What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

It's never easy but with God as the cornerstone within the marriage it makes it all worthwhile and it makes all things possible

The key is FORGIVING

Marriage can WORK!

We can't judge a book by it's cover.

Sadly some people marry only within a certain back ground. They are told, never marry a musician, a lawyer, or a trash man based on closed minded stereo types that only hinder peoples vision which also cripples their growth in relating to others.

Also some only marry a person who has a certain amount of money but fail to realize money doesn't keep the marriage together, it helps but it doesn't keep the marriage together. Ultimately it is the two people (and God) and there core beliefs, working as a team that keeps it going.

Don't get me wrong, everyone needs to work, have money coming in to live in this world but having more money does not secure that one will be better off. You can be married to a millionaire or a billionaire who doesn't love you and treats you like a object, doesn't value your input and puts you down often and let's say you just stick it out, well all you will gain from that relationship is a temporal satifaction of having great amount of substance at the expense of not being highly regarded as a person worth honoring, worth respecting, worth supporting and ultimately worth loving.

We hear it on the news and in the world today, someone gets married to another just based on their finances and (if) the money gets a bit lower than usual, their looking for another and that happens to men and women. All that proves is that they didn't love you but what you have they love which is very clear picture of what they value in life. In some cases it's not their fault (completely) they could have been raised with a belief that money is everything. However everyone can change when they truly desire to change.

It's nothing wrong with being wealthy, GOD is wealthy, GOD the most wealthiest, successful, prosperous, faithful being in all existense. He's so wealthy He owns everything in existence because He created it all, so having wealth isn't wrong/evil HOWEVER to only look for somone who already has it together now is seriously limiting your options since marriage corner stone should be about love (GOD is LOVE). We could be passing up on someone God is working on who in time will solve a huge problem that will radically change their financial situation and others and empower them to bless others and employ them.

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Ephesians 5:28 - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.

1 Peter 3:1 - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

In other words it is quite possible to be with a decent Godly person who works or looking for work, is active in their prayer life and God could bless that person with a million dollar idea later in life. It depends on what they desire, what they know and who they know. If they know God, that's all they need to know because God can and will bring every other person to them needed for their successful life to blossom. It's all about who you know and when we know God our bases are covered.....INDEED!

However money isn't everything, some don't care how much someone has but are more interested with what you know and what you do with your time. Everyone is different which is a good thing. We are all unique and we shouold all go for what you really desire or what desires God places in us, not what others want for us. Denying our wants that God placed in us, our hopes, dreams to please only other peoples hopes and dreams means we're not being honest with ourselves and not loving ourself either.

Ultimately if we are not being honest with ourselves/ loving oursleves, we'll have issues with being honest with others and loving others. We must open up and let go of negative people and circumstances believing for the best in our lives going for it with God as the centerpeice of our lives. All things are possible when God is involved in our lives. We attract what we really believe and it will manifest when we maintain unshakable persistence, faith, using wisdom and trusting God for our success.

God created man and woman and also created the first marriage

Marriage shouldn't be determined by what others say but by what God's says. Imperfect people can't perfect each other. God is the only perfect being in existence that will and can lead us by the way we should go. So when in doubt, ask God.

In short a Christian man is best within a union with a Christian woman. God created Adam and Eve to be one and they were. Since God is perfect and cannot lie, He cannot make mistakes, He is flawless in His work, the core of His being is true, if He wanted it any other way He would have made it so. Attempting to fix something that was created by God and to quote "FIX IT" end quote (from an imperfect perspective, like all humanity) is very much out of order and just wrong. We also have to ask ourselves have we made Jesus just the savior of our life and not Lord of our life?

When He (JESUS) is Lord over our life, for the Christian our response to God's call is, "Yes is the answer and what is the question". Being willing and obedient is what a Christian's lifestyle is all about and of course it's the most blessed and most fulfilling one also. He (GOD) gives the best rewards on earth and heaven and within a blessed marriage it's never perfect but I must say this, (my opinion) I can enjoy going to the movies, shows, shopping and such by myself but I enjoy even more with another person who cares for me unconditionally. That's priceless and worth the wait.

Pray! Always Pray!

Just keep thanking God for blessing the marriage and that His perfect will be done in Jesus name. Both parties have to want the same desired end result and that is to have a long prosperous, healthy, fulfilling marriage that God presdinted for them both in order for it to work ... and you know, it will work ... it really can and will work because Prayer works for the believer!



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    • darrylcrawford profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Philadelphia PA to Tucson AZ.

      I agree with you Dave, marriage is not easy, it is just like in life we have their good days and not so good days however with God all things are possible and when both partners are committed to each other and God is the center, IT CAN WORK. And I also agree if everyone would take those vows seriously it would help people with their choices. The problem is that the value of words (to some) are watered down to nothing and vows to many are like post cards that can be thrown away without thought. How tragic that is for those who think that way. Marriage is truly an honorable part of life. It really proves how unselfish we really are.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      7 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Marriage is not and should not be easy. It is not a tiptoe thru the tulips. Even with God ever present, it is not always easy to navigate the sea of matrimony with all of its ups and downs, good weather, fair weather, and,bad weather that one must traverse in marriage.

      The vows of marriage to most couples are seen as just words spoken, BUT, not as vows of committment, a committment for better or worse, rich or poor, good health and bad health, highs and lows, AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, 'till death do they part.

      If 90% of the couples today realized the seriousness of the words spoken in these vows,they would re-think getting married.


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