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Clare, Lost Love

Updated on August 16, 2011

Lost Love

This story is pure fiction, or maybe just an amalgam of all the bad relations I had about that time.

In college I dated a woman I like to call a little different. She made Richard Lewis the comic look sedate. I thought at first she was Jewish for she was always talking about the way her people were always persecuted. Then I found out she met prosecuted. Her father was in the state pen for twenty five years for armed robbery and her brother was doing ten for stealing cars. Her mother was a card carrying member of the “oldest profession” and was in county lock-up about every weekend. Her bother the priest was always protesting trying to get them freed. Every time we went out she complained about the fact that her hair had too much curl. This was after she got a curly permanent. Clare was usually very good about handing out comments to the wait-staff when we went out to eat. Of course the comments were always very negative and this was before we got our food. She thought that I was a vegetarian because I often change my order to fresh fruit or vegetables. Her meals always looked somewhat altered, but I never told her. She constantly was fixing her make-up everywhere we went complaining it didn't look right. It may have been the glasses she wore. They were the same pair she had in junior high school. They had miss-matched temples and the lens were very scratched. She believed that the eye doctor was only going to take advantage of her once. We dated for almost a year and a half and I don't know why. When I would try to brake up with her she would start crying and sob “All men are alike. They only want one thing from me.” of course I never figured out what that one thing was since we never had sex and rarely kissed. If the one thing she referred to was to drive me insane over and over again maybe she hit the nail on the head. After changing my cell phone number three times and moving in the middle of the night twice she decided to break up with me. The note went.

Dear sir ( she could never remember my name.) I have decided that you are not the man for me. I want a man who is more direct with me and shares my opinions. If you ever decide to change look me up. Just don't expect to find me in those phone books they expect you to buy a phone first and then they will put you in their book. I am not falling for that.


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    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      What a Fun Read Alzel...sort of reminded me of something that C.K. Louie would do on his show, "LOUIE,LOUIE" I love this kind of witty writing, GOOD HUB, my friend.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHa, I agree with Hyphen. You were lucky to get rid of her.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      Clare sounds like bad news. I think you made a narrow escape or you might be pulling hard time yourself right about now.