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Understanding a Person's Struggles

Updated on July 13, 2016

1. Every Struggle is Real

Never make someone that is struggling feel that whatever they're going through is not a valid struggle. Remember, things that are painful to others might not be as painful to you. Many considerations should be properly evaluated before we react to someone’s struggle. Here are two important considerations:

a. A Person's Past

This is very crucial especially if we have just entered in their present. Even if we have been a part of their past, we still can’t assume anything. That’s why asking about a person’s past is something we should invest in especially when the situation calls for it. That is, if such inquiry will be welcomed by that person. But if we will be left with little to no access to their past, let us nonetheless be prepared to offer our understanding.

A person’s present is reminiscent of that person’s past; may it be in a good or bad way, or both. Though it is indeed an impossible task to completely understand a person but we are nevertheless given the opportunity to understand one another the best way we can. But keep in mind that understanding does not equal with careless tolerance nor is it indifference in the guise of understanding.

b. A Person's Personality/Character

A person’s past is also a major influence to a person’s personality. Each of us should be reminded that everyday our personality & character are continually developing and constantly challenged, and then molded by what we go through in our life. Therefore we shouldn’t take a person’s personality/character and a person’s struggles as two unrelated elements. They’re sort of a cause and effect. And do consider that struggles are not completely antagonistic and pure evil. In fact, struggles can be an effective means to gain strength, learn wisdom and mature beautifully. But it does call for a proper attitude, ample preparation and endurance for us to reap its blessings. Point is, we should consider, respect and understand who a person is (their personality/character) to understand their struggle.

Thus before we raise eyebrows at issues that may come across as petty and “not worth the time,” let’s be discerning and sensitive. Because if we will measure other people’s struggle with our standard of what can be considered as a struggle then we will always end up making matters worse.

Be Compassionate!

2. Every Struggle Needs Help

No man is an island especially when one is under the weight of a struggle. While contemplation in solitude can be helpful it is much better to accompany it with sound counsel. Even if a person is not deliberately asking for help such as an advice, he should still consider to find a confidant with whom he can share and just unload. Keeping unneeded luggage can aggravate the situation to the point of self-harm and isolation.

Consequently, we need to remember that people who are struggling may not want any kind of help at all, but it doesn’t change the fact that they need help with their struggle. There are many ways to help but we must first accept that each one of us needs help with our struggles. Before we help others let us allow others to help us, too. Remember that we all have struggles. Besides, it is possible to welcome help from the outside without losing our voice. So we need not to lock our doors, we just need to be wise enough to know who we let in.

a. Encouraging and Honest Words

Words cut deep. That’s why we ought to make a person bleed love and not blood by the words we speak. Struggling or not, we need to constantly season and restrain our tongues, and that by starting to discipline our thoughts.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”-Ephesians 4:29

In the case of struggles, honesty is always a good foundation to build upon. Encouragements can easily turn to false flattery if we are only thinking about pacifying someone. Therefore encouragements should be rooted in honesty with sincerity. But we do need to be sensitive, too, always considering someone’s emotions without losing our stance in being honest and sincere. Remember that honesty can be spoken kindly; Being careful to say the right words in a right way, and at the right time.

b. Presence

There are moments when we should put our words on hold and just be there for someone to hold. A listening ear and an open arm can be the very thing a person ever needs for a while. Sure we might have wise and comforting verses we want to say but I think we should always give room and time for silence, and still be able to give our heartfelt presence.

Words can’t say what love can do~

A hurting weary soul definitely needs help and it should be expressed through genuine love and care. It should be done prayerfully, sincerely and patiently.

3. A Message to Everyone Struggling

Everyone has valid struggles, struggles that make us but often break us. No doubt it is hard and painful, but if we know its purpose---if we know our purpose then we can see life as a beautiful struggle but a secured journey under the care of the Sovereign hands of God.


Be encouraged with the many promises of our Lord that He is with us. Trust in His word that everything He do is for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28) No struggle, no hurt, no pain, no failures or anything else can ever separate us from Him. (Romans 8:35-39). May it be discipline, rebuke, or a trial and a test of faith, our God is faithful. If we are to sum up the Christian life into three words it will be, “Trust and Obey.” (Deuteronomy 28, Proverbs 37, Proverbs 3:5-7)

Also, never forget our Lord’s command to edify, encourage and love one another. We are often messy and far from loveable, that’s why God calls us to love as He loves, to forgive as He has forgiven us. Therefore don’t stand blind to the hurts and burdens of other brethren.

...”but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”-Ephesians 4:15-16

To you:

Hi! I just want to share that the Lord Jesus Christ loves you. He cares about all your hurt, but you first need to know and accept the root of all problems----sin, our sin. But take heart! Jesus Christ took our place, bore upon Himself our just punishments and now offers us forgiveness and new life in Him.

There is a link that explains God's free gift of Salvation (Roman Road to Salvation) Also, below is video of Paul Washer explaining the same thing, may you see the need and give time to hear it. God bless.


Soli Deo Gloria


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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Very good article--helpful and compassionate. Your steps to understanding are very practical, and looking to Jesus for the fix is the best solution. Thanks for sharing.