- Gender and Relationships
They call, text or email their guy constantly needing assurance she is important in his life. These women are comparable to a two year old that hangs on their mother’s leg and when separated cry and throw a fit.
Most have confidence issues, they fear he will find someone else and leave them. They have to be his best friend and in some cases she wants to be his “only” friend. He shouldn’t need anyone else. Right? Wrong.
What they don’t realize is that to a man this is the same as a dog on a short leash. When she won’t let him go and do things with his friends he feels smothered. He is torn between loving her and needing to have time with his male pals or even just a few minutes alone to regroup and breathe.
Remember that song you loved? It was your favorite until the radio played it over and over and over again and before you knew it you couldn't stand it any longer. Hearing the first two notes would make you cringe and change the station. It's like that.
Many good relationships have ended due to girls clinging to their guys like a parasite on a tree. She sucks the very life out of him and has no idea she is doing it. Then one day he tells her he thinks they should see other people and she can’t figure out what went wrong because in her mind everything was copacetic.
I’ve mostly seen this behavior in young women. Older gals have usually learned by the time they are in their late thirties that men are turned off by this behavior. Girls whose fathers weren’t there when they needed them will develop this trait but also some whose dads spoiled them turn out the same.
You’ve heard the saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This is true. Too much togetherness will put a strain on the best of relationships. Men have to be able to go off and do his thing just like women have their activities and interests. Only difference is immature females want him sitting in a chair looking at her while she shops, watches a chick flick or looks at fashion magazines asking him his opinion. The world is a stage and he is her captive audience.
Put yourself in his place for just a few minutes. Do you honestly think a person who hates shopping, wants to accompany you to try on dresses even if you are the model? Seriously?
The answer is no but he’ll be nice and say, “Sure,” unless he’s not very bright. Do the poor man a favor and don’t put him through that. It’s the equivalent of him dragging you to a sports event you can’t stand.
Straight men seldom like shopping and if they do it is only when the end result is him getting a power tool or other manly merchandise.
So how do you cure this cling-on affliction?
- Find some friends, go out and do girlie things with other women or gay guys. If you can’t find anyone with your interests go alone. Nothing wrong with being by yourself sometimes.
- Stop making him your entire focus, it's unhealthy. Yes you love him but this is not the proper way to show it.
- Don't dissect his every word. If he says a guy is his best friend don't get jealous and childish about it. To him you are more than a friend, you are his lover so stop smothering.
- Turn off that little voice in your head that says he’s looking at other women. Yes, he is, even when you think he isn’t. Why? Because he’s a man and that is how they are wired. If he wasn’t interested in women he wouldn’t be with you. He's with you so stop making a big deal out of it. They can’t turn off their eyes just because they are in love and if you are truthful with yourself you’ll realize you look at other men too. So give the man some space and stop worrying.
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