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Coming Out Of The Closet: The Reason I Hid My Secret From The World And How Do You Come Out
Today I Choose To Share My Secret
My name is Ashley and for the past 18 years i have kept a secret from the many people i love including my parents.I am bi sexual.
Coming out of the closet is not an easy thing to do. It is very intimidating because you know that many people will judge you, some may embrace it positively and others shun you away because you are different. I am no different than the first time you met me. I am still the same girl who went to movies with you and baked mud pies when we were seven. I am still the same loving, caring daughter you brought into this world and just because I'm different, doesn't mean I've changed.
Why did i choose to confess my status? It is not for recognition or for fame. But it is to lift the weight of my shoulders which has been plaguing me for so many years. The secret gnawed at my mind for so long that i had to get it out of me before i self destructed. I am proud to be who i am. This is me and nothing you say or do will ever change me.
My parents still do not know my sexuality. I'm afraid to come out of the closet. I know that it will break them and that is why i will not tell them as yet. I have spoken to them about gay and lesbian friends and they accept it, but told me straight that they would disown me if i ever turned out that way. The thought of them finding out does terrify me immensely but I'm tired of the lies, I'm sick of the jokes. This is who i am detached from the masks that hide my emotions.
A lot of my friends know that i am bi-sexual and they respect that. Naturally, my lesbian and other bi-sexual friends are thrilled and said "i thought they was something queer about you!" My brother and his wife know and approve of it. My father does suspect something but my mother knows nothing. I don't worry about them finding out from my friends because they won't tell a soul and it's not as if my parents would read my Hubs. I mean, come on. My dad said congrats for getting the Hubnuggets nomination but that was the end of it. My mother said nothing. Oops, does that sound a bit resentful? That's how it is.
The reason for this article is that i hope other 'closet cases' as i partially am, will realize that there is always someone there for you, even if it is your friends. Feeling scared, sick, lonely, angry or even terrified is quite normal when you are faced with questions and people wanting to know why. Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone put you down. I most certainly will not let others walk over me and i have not changed, i am still CiscoPixie and someone's daughter, friend, niece, cousin and mentor.
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