- Gender and Relationships
Coming soon to a person near you!
Psycho has left the shower...
It's a cold night. The full moon peeks eerily through a hole in the
blanket of clouds and, below, the wind whispers past the corner of a
house. Inside, a man sits on a couch; leaning forward, staring at
something on the coffee table. The creepy object lies lifeless in his
stare and yet, he can hear it calling to him in a ghostly voice: “It's
time. Pick me up. Let's do this thing.” The man tries to refuse with all
his might but the psycho within him won't let him. With a trembling
hand he reaches slowly for it. He picks up the phone and dials her
number. She didn't call as she promised; She's gonna get it now...
Psycho's tongue has been loosened.
Yes, there's an evil little psycho within everyone of us. We can simply not fathom how, if we feel so strongly about someone, they could possibly not feel the same way about us. It's almost as if we believe we can infect someone with emotion by means of telepathy and when that doesn't happen, we lash out in the strangest of ways. It staggers me to think of what we're capable to get our own back if we don't experience a return of our affections: We'll argue; we'll scream; we'll be mean but the most malicious by far, must be when we play the passive aggression game by making that person feel guilty for not having romantic feelings towards us.
While I'm writing this from a male perspective, I need to point out, at this time, that this vice isn't exclusive to the male gender. I've seen the fairer sex strike back in the exact same fashion on numerous occasions.
But let's continue: After the psycho has left the scene of the crime and cooler heads prevail, we'll slip back into saint mode. Do these thoughts ring a bell: “She'll look back someday and realize what she had given up,” or “I believe we're meant for each other and someday she'll come back.”? Being so saintly in that moment, we choose to forget that we have said and done so many hurtful things that the only person in her life who will stand a chance of ever hearing about us, is her therapist or trauma counselor.
She may have given you all the right signals but, has it crossed your mind that she perhaps meant it when she said, she didn't see you as more than a friend? And when she told you she might have feelings for you but everything she did, spoke of the contrary; did it occur to you that she might have been afraid to hurt your feelings by simply telling you off? The reason you probably didn't, is because emotions cloud our judgment to such a degree that we choose to see only the positives, even though we can see the entire picture, including all the negatives.
Far being it from me to call myself a guru of love, I have become an expert in the lack thereof and as such I can say this: Having actions reflect words and vica versa is the one true meassure of attraction. After all, Romeo and Juliet wasn't written as the mad ravings of a lunatic and it certainly didn't become one of the most popular and most read works of literature in human history, because of the language Shakespeare used. No, it's because it shows us how much two people, who are deeply in love, would do to be together and what they felt, they also said. If the words and the actions are not in unison, the object of your affection is almost certainly not that into you and nothing you can say or do can change that; especially not the things your inner psycho would have you say and do.
So when you find you have to “work” to get someone attracted to you, you're already heading down Heartbreak Ally. If they tell you how much they want to see you but never seem to do anything about it or if they're around you all the time but keep on speaking about how they like being single, then that person is a lost case. See the situation for what it truly is and know that, even if it hurts badly to set them free at that point, it will hurt far, far worse the longer you continue to fight a futile battle. Remember, it's human nature to be attracted to that which pulls away from us and that, forcing yourself into a person's life, will have the polar opposite effect of that which you want to achieve. Cut the ties completely; If you're in love with that person, it is impossible not to show it and being friends will inevitably end in disaster for either or both of you.
But most of all; Keep the inner psycho at bay. Be the bigger person and allow the object of your affection to have fond memories of you; not bad ones. Allow them to have the same happiness for which you are striving, even if it isn't with you.