- Gender and Relationships
Commitment In Marriage
Unprepared For Marriage
When most people get into marriage, they usually do not understand what it is that they are really getting into and this is what accounts for the high divorce rates in the U.S. and the world over for that matter. The really is that most people enter a marriage with extremely high expectations of their spouse and of the relationship itself and then they realize that married life is not as ideal as they expected it to be at first. For many people, the stark contrast between the ideal that they pictured out and objective reality can be too much to handle leading them to opt for a divorce thinking that their ideal spouse can be found elsewhere… the reality is that there is no such thing as an ideal married life and all married couples face some degree of adversity at some point. What is important is that you are prepared to deal with the changes that marriage can bring about to an existing relationship.
Changes That Marriage Brings
- The level of commitment between you and your partner: Now that your relationship has been made official and legally binding, you will need to have a different level of commitment to each other. The bonds that you share will be tested during the early years of marriage.
- The actions that you perform now affect others: The level of responsibility that you need to take for your actions and decisions are different now in married life. Almost every decision that you make should now be considered with your spouse and your family in mind. Especially with the way you spend your money, how you advance your career, and what you can do with your spare time.
- The communication level deepens: As time passes by, you will begin to develop a deeper level of communication with your spouse. This is a positive thing since you will be able to read each other deeper and understand what the other’s needs are through their nonverbal communication signals even if your spouse does not directly tell you something.
- Your other relationships are affected: After getting married, you will no longer be able to spend a whole lot of your free time together with your friends – although this does not mean that you should not keep them. You will not have free reign to simply go and hang out with them whenever you please now that you have signed up to be committed to your spouse. This is made even clearer when you have kids together.
- Marriage makes you healthier: According to several studies, married individuals often outlive single people by a significant percentage. This is because married people tend to take care of their health more and have a healthier lifestyle in general since they have a partner and a family to be healthy for.
- Intimacy changes: Your sex life will be a lot different in marriage since over time, you will become bolder as you get more comfortable with each other’s bodies. This can lead to a more exciting, more energetic sex life.
- Marriage extends your social circles: You will be closer to your partner’s family or your in-laws and you will have an extended social circle through your partner’s friends as well – if you did not have a mutual circle of friend to begin with.
Making It Work
In order to make your marriage work, you need to be prepared to deal with these changes and take all the bad as well as good things that come with them. As the old saying goes, “it all comes with the territory.”
While these changes are not always clearly negative or positive, what is really important is that you are prepared to view things from a positive outlook and enjoy your new married life in general.
- Preparation for Marriage: 10 Things You'll Wish You Knew - Stronger Marriage - strongermarriage.org
- Does premarital counseling actually work? | RelationshipPsychology.com
Premarital Counseling - 10 Things That The Counselor Will Bring Up.