Common Life's Issues
Bad Experiences in Common Life Issues
Relationships and Complications
Life is wonderful, beautiful, and full of experiences without joys, sadness and happiness life won't be much but just life.
You got to make your life adventurous and worth your while.
The big events, and the small events does take a toll on many individuals.
The following are the issues of many Lives:
Fiancé just wants to party!
She is twenty four, her fiancé is twenty, and they have been together for a year.
Recently, he had changed a lot and started a new job. He has chosen to stay out from eleven in the morning to eleven at night. So she hardly gets to see her partner.
When she does see him he is either drunk, or late and smells of other woman.
She felt he was cheating on her and when she confronted him about it his moods immediately changed. The guy got angry and swore at her.
Her fiance feels she doesn't trust him. The problem here she does not trust him because he doesn't give her a reason to. She is confused and hurt in this relationship.
A four year gap between the two is not significant; if they love each other age has nothing to do with love right?
It is however, important in relation to his behavior.
He is young and may feel he is missing out on things his friend's his age are doing. He might want to play around a bit and not be ready to commit.
The twenty four year old woman should sit him down for a serious chat and if this doesn't work she should write a letter to him.
In the letter she must let him know of how she feels about such behaviors.
Ask, if he wants to suspend the relationship.
Would he like to go on and that you set aside some rights to be together and agree to see your respective friends?
He can decide what he really wants from the relationship a chance to work on the relationship or to walk away from it.
You need to know where you stand.
What do you think of the following situation?
Scared Body, Scarred Mind
When you were six you had measles which left scars on your body, and these scars won't go away.
You have developed a huge complex and wouldn't do any activity that meant you had to expose your legs. You still hate to expose parts of your body.
You married and got divorced and part of the reason was your shyness about your body. Even though your husband told you he loves you for who you really are but you still used excuses to sleep in the kid's room. Your idea of having to avoid showing him your body.
This led to fights and to him drinking and eventually he left you.
You refused to date anyone else any time sooner. Years later you met a guy who wants to marry you but you are stalling because of this monstrous insecurity.
He often asks you why you wear always wear jeans and long skirts; you were not honest about it. Instead said you have ugly legs. He also asked you to spend time with him soon and to bring a swimming costume.
You really love him and don't want to lose him but you can't put yourself through the pain of being gawped at in public or the shame of not being the attractive woman he deserves.
What can she do to make her life normal again?
Firstly, her husband did see her naked in the beginning and still loved her.
Now, someone else has fallen in love with her and she needed him to tell her that she is a petty special person regardless of her scars.
The woman is so focused on the scars that she had forgotten it is the whole person that counts.
However, she could do two things. First, make an appointment to see a plastic and reconstructive surgeon. If something can be done then there is a good chance of her changing her life around.
Second, she needs to realize the scars on her body have left scars on her psyche and she should seek help from a psychologist to improve her self-image and understand beauty is more than skin deep.
In that way she can gather the courage to tell the man she loves about her scars. Whatever she decides the point here is that her man has the right to make his own choice about loving her. Also, in living with her for who she really is, herself.
On the other hand, she shouldn't presume he will reject her before giving him a choice.
Mom's sisters sleep around
You are in your thirties and happily married and have a good job but you are haunted by your childhood.
Also, you are deeply upset at the maliciousness it has caused in your sisters and in the your failure to speak up against them.
When you were little your mother had a breast enhancement operation and embarked on a series of affairs one with the victim’s father’s brother!
Then she started an affair with a neighbor who sexually abused the victim and one of her sisters.
The other sister was dating this man's son at that time. Your mother was so engrossed in her intimate escapades while your pain and abuse continued.
One of your sisters became a hooker. They have all had many abortions.
You became almost rigid as a result of the abuse which resulted in your husband leaving you and making use of escorts.
If anyone criticizes your sisters lifestyles they attack viciously. You have not had the courage to stop them. You fear someone will be pushed over the edge and end up committing suicide.
A complicated situation, her mother had an extremely poor self-image to have developed such a huge need for love and affection.
Another possibility is that she has an extremely strong libido coupled with a strong need to affection and she confused her sexual acts with love.
Either way, the affairs created a dysfunctional environment for her daughters and the abuse made the situation worse for all of you.
Such traumatic experiences can have devastating effects on the psyche they have obviously left the sisters with a lot of anger and aggression.
She shouldn't beat herself up for not speaking out. The victim's childhood traumas have left her filled with fear rather than anger.
On a subconscious level she may be afraid her sisters will destroy your happiness which in fact makes her a silent victim.
It is good to get the skeletons out of the closet and leave the past behind, seek professional help to get her issues spoken about so the individual can go on with her life.
It won't be enjoyable because she will have to relive some of her past pain but the result will be wonderful it will free her to voice up her own opinions.
Remember she can't take responsibility for her mother and sisters' behavior.
It is the main cause of the problem and they must face the consequences. She had to learn to know where to draw the line.
Only she can stop herself from going back instead move on to a new life all over again.
Life is what you make of it and every mistake is definitely a learning lesson.
Accept Scars and move on to Better Positive Thinking
Great life experiences
How do you handle Common Life Issues?
© 2013 Devika Primić