- Gender and Relationships
Compromise in a Relationship
Compromising is an Important Relationship Skill
Compromising is very much like setting boundaries, or drafting an agreement or honoring a commitment. These are basic skills for life in general and are important skills for a successful relationship with co-workers, friends and also love relationships.
Knowing how to compromise is a key component to a healthy and relationship of any type that you hope will last a long time or perhaps a lifetime. Without the willingness and ability to compromise, your work, friendship and committed relationships can be at risk for failure. If you have experienced failed relationships in your past, now is the time to break those old habits and create new ones.
Too many people feel that compromise takes away from who they are as an individual, or is a sign of weakness or makes them appear to be the passive partner in a relationship. Compromise is nothing like that at all unless you make the wrong compromises!
What are ‘wrong compromises'? Wrong compromises are where you have you suffered a loss when you compromised with someone. If a compromise makes you feel taken advantage of or wronged then it is not a healthy compromise in any type of relationship.
Keep in mind when making a compromise you need to keep three key elements in play:
- Mutual respect for all involved
- Complete honesty in how you feel and think
- Good intentions and good will for all involved
Before you compromise with anyone about anything, create some basic ‘rules' or guidelines that each person agrees to and will honor during the conversation regarding what you are trying to compromise on. Below are a few you can use or modify to fit your relationship.
- It is unacceptable to all parties involved that anyone will experience a substantial loss.
- It is crucial to the success of the compromise that each person trust that the other will not take advantage of him or her or otherwise harm the other(s) in any way.
- It is a mutual agreement that each person involved commits to as close to a win/win result as is possible.
- Neither person will agree to a compromise if he or she thinks or feels they can not or will not be able to live with the compromise.
Be sure to add any others that will help you become willing and able to compromise. Write them down if that helps keep everyone on the same page. Update them as your relationship progresses and perhaps your thoughts and feelings on issues change.
There should be no room for fears or past behavior. No one in any relationship wants to deal with an old, injured part of you! Put those past behaviors and thought patterns behind you and create a fresh new mindset for all your future relationships!
Become the full expression of your passionate, loving and wonderful self. Repair the disillusionment and disappointment from the past by trusting yourself to make the right choices, seeking counsel if you feel you are not making a right choice and be totally open and honest with those you have relationships with whether in a work, personal friendship or love relationship situation.
Become willing to be your best self in the here and now and act from your authentic, integrated self. You're worth it!