- Gender and Relationships
Confused, Was I was Born in the Wrong Century? : Finding Love and Dating in the 2000s
Change Happened And I Didn't Even Notice
Recently my husband and I attended our city’s MLB baseball game. It’s something that we have enjoyed doing for many years and we are big fans but this time it was very different. Getting ready for the game I grabbed my go to t-shirt that had the MLB’s team logo on it, jeans, sneakers, and put my hair up in a ponytail. Arriving to the game I quickly realized that I was overdressed and no I don’t mean I was too formal, I mean I was literally overdressed. The majority of the women, whether they were young or old, were wearing skimpy shorts that rode up the girl’s butt cheeks like a thong and tight little tanks or t-shirts, on their feet were heels of some sort some higher than I have ever seen. Sitting at the game I couldn’t help but realize that I looked like a slob. I was clean, my hair was neat, I was comfortable, but compared to the primping and styling the majority of the girls did around me I looked like I didn’t care about my appearance at all. In my mind a baseball game, was just a baseball game, but looking at the majority of women around me, it didn’t seem that way anymore. The women were beautiful with their hair styles done to the nines and makeup perfectly applied but I was confused. Why am I suddenly in the minority of women who dress comfortably and do not spend hours on their hair, makeup, and nails? Is there something wrong with me? I found myself distracted during the whole game thinking about work and when I venture to the store. Maybe I am a slob, maybe I don’t care about my appearance enough I thought. Maybe I should spend more time straighten my hair instead of putting it in a ponytail or letting my waves hang naturally down. Should I be wearing more makeup than just a foundation and blush? Should I be placing highlights in my hair instead of just dying away the gray hairs? What’s wrong with me?
I have never been interested in getting my nails done, or taking minutes or hours on my hair, I do my makeup as quickly and as minimally as possible and when I’m not at work I am a sneakers and jeans type of person. I have been this way my entire life but the more I think about it, most girls aren’t like me. A lot of women today spend much more time beautifying their selves and primping. I find myself wondering do the women do it because they want to look good for their selves, or are they doing it because they want to look good for others? Also, since I am not doing it… Does that mean I’m lazy and I don’t care about my appearance?
Where do I Belong?
I am a teacher and even at work these days it seems like a fashion show. I wear black dress pants often and flat shoes with a nice top or sweater. However, over the years the fashion in my school has been changing, more teachers are walking around in their high heels, makeup done for the night out, and stylish clothes that are in magazines. I have never cared about fashion but it seems like I should start to care about fashion. Even the kids dress in tight little stylish outfits.
I have always felt out of place like I didn’t belong in this time period. I don’t like wearing tight clothes and wearing a lot of makeup. I make myself look presentable and respectful and hope that’s enough however, I don’t think it would be enough in 2014. If I hadn’t met my husband in high school I’m not sure I would have ever met a guy. I don’t think any guy would have been attracted to me because I always go for comfort and not style or sexy. If I were a guy I certainly wouldn’t choose me over the other primped and sexy girls out there. I wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting a date, because no one would even want to take the time to get to know me. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be wearing tighter clothes and more makeup? Every time I give it a try it doesn’t feel natural, and I am uncomfortable. However, even when I do dress comfortably I now feel highly uncomfortable dressing and looking like me because society’s norms are changing and it seems a person should always be dressed for a night out on the town. Obviously I am having some self-esteem issues, but I really do believe that getting a date and falling in love in 2014 is even harder for girls like me than it was decades ago. There are too many pretty women that do everything possible to make their selves attractive on the outside these days and I just want to be loved and liked for what is on the inside. I doubt any other attractive man other than my husband would give me the time of the day, because in society standards I am not worth it… Ladies what are your feelings on this topic? Are we making it harder on ourselves by putting on sexy clothes everywhere we go and painting our faces on daily, or are these women just proud of who they are and they want to flaunt their beauty? I really don’t know and I am just glad that I have my husband and family or I would probably be a very lonely girl or I would have to change and start worrying about my outward appearance more. I am far from a slob, and I do care about what I look like but I don’t seem to care as much as the majority of women in the USA care. What are guys looking for? They can say a sweet, smart, funny girl, but the first thing that attracts anyone to each other is their outward appearance and with the competition in this world and all the beautiful women and the amount of time they go through daily primping their selves just seems to tiring and exhausting for me.
Ladies please share your thoughts on this topic because I am one confused woman!
Guys what are your real thoughts, and I don’t mean the textbook thoughts… Like I am really looking for a girl who is comfortable being in her skin, funny, smart and intelligent, because my thoughts are if a woman is truly comfortable being in her skin then why does she have to spend so much time making herself look better than she already does.