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Confused, Was I was Born in the Wrong Century? : Finding Love and Dating in the 2000s

Updated on July 4, 2014

Change Happened And I Didn't Even Notice

Recently my husband and I attended our city’s MLB baseball game. It’s something that we have enjoyed doing for many years and we are big fans but this time it was very different. Getting ready for the game I grabbed my go to t-shirt that had the MLB’s team logo on it, jeans, sneakers, and put my hair up in a ponytail. Arriving to the game I quickly realized that I was overdressed and no I don’t mean I was too formal, I mean I was literally overdressed. The majority of the women, whether they were young or old, were wearing skimpy shorts that rode up the girl’s butt cheeks like a thong and tight little tanks or t-shirts, on their feet were heels of some sort some higher than I have ever seen. Sitting at the game I couldn’t help but realize that I looked like a slob. I was clean, my hair was neat, I was comfortable, but compared to the primping and styling the majority of the girls did around me I looked like I didn’t care about my appearance at all. In my mind a baseball game, was just a baseball game, but looking at the majority of women around me, it didn’t seem that way anymore. The women were beautiful with their hair styles done to the nines and makeup perfectly applied but I was confused. Why am I suddenly in the minority of women who dress comfortably and do not spend hours on their hair, makeup, and nails? Is there something wrong with me? I found myself distracted during the whole game thinking about work and when I venture to the store. Maybe I am a slob, maybe I don’t care about my appearance enough I thought. Maybe I should spend more time straighten my hair instead of putting it in a ponytail or letting my waves hang naturally down. Should I be wearing more makeup than just a foundation and blush? Should I be placing highlights in my hair instead of just dying away the gray hairs? What’s wrong with me?

What's wrong with this?  NOTHING! Right?  But how many of you would be thinking how in the world did she get him?
What's wrong with this? NOTHING! Right? But how many of you would be thinking how in the world did she get him? | Source

Always Me

I have never been interested in getting my nails done, or taking minutes or hours on my hair, I do my makeup as quickly and as minimally as possible and when I’m not at work I am a sneakers and jeans type of person. I have been this way my entire life but the more I think about it, most girls aren’t like me. A lot of women today spend much more time beautifying their selves and primping. I find myself wondering do the women do it because they want to look good for their selves, or are they doing it because they want to look good for others? Also, since I am not doing it… Does that mean I’m lazy and I don’t care about my appearance?

What do GUYS WANT?  I know what they really want.  Attractive guys want skinny and beautiful women.
What do GUYS WANT? I know what they really want. Attractive guys want skinny and beautiful women. | Source

Where do I Belong?

I am a teacher and even at work these days it seems like a fashion show. I wear black dress pants often and flat shoes with a nice top or sweater. However, over the years the fashion in my school has been changing, more teachers are walking around in their high heels, makeup done for the night out, and stylish clothes that are in magazines. I have never cared about fashion but it seems like I should start to care about fashion. Even the kids dress in tight little stylish outfits.

I have always felt out of place like I didn’t belong in this time period. I don’t like wearing tight clothes and wearing a lot of makeup. I make myself look presentable and respectful and hope that’s enough however, I don’t think it would be enough in 2014. If I hadn’t met my husband in high school I’m not sure I would have ever met a guy. I don’t think any guy would have been attracted to me because I always go for comfort and not style or sexy. If I were a guy I certainly wouldn’t choose me over the other primped and sexy girls out there. I wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting a date, because no one would even want to take the time to get to know me. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be wearing tighter clothes and more makeup? Every time I give it a try it doesn’t feel natural, and I am uncomfortable. However, even when I do dress comfortably I now feel highly uncomfortable dressing and looking like me because society’s norms are changing and it seems a person should always be dressed for a night out on the town. Obviously I am having some self-esteem issues, but I really do believe that getting a date and falling in love in 2014 is even harder for girls like me than it was decades ago. There are too many pretty women that do everything possible to make their selves attractive on the outside these days and I just want to be loved and liked for what is on the inside. I doubt any other attractive man other than my husband would give me the time of the day, because in society standards I am not worth it… Ladies what are your feelings on this topic? Are we making it harder on ourselves by putting on sexy clothes everywhere we go and painting our faces on daily, or are these women just proud of who they are and they want to flaunt their beauty? I really don’t know and I am just glad that I have my husband and family or I would probably be a very lonely girl or I would have to change and start worrying about my outward appearance more. I am far from a slob, and I do care about what I look like but I don’t seem to care as much as the majority of women in the USA care. What are guys looking for? They can say a sweet, smart, funny girl, but the first thing that attracts anyone to each other is their outward appearance and with the competition in this world and all the beautiful women and the amount of time they go through daily primping their selves just seems to tiring and exhausting for me.

Ladies please share your thoughts on this topic because I am one confused woman!

Guys what are your real thoughts, and I don’t mean the textbook thoughts… Like I am really looking for a girl who is comfortable being in her skin, funny, smart and intelligent, because my thoughts are if a woman is truly comfortable being in her skin then why does she have to spend so much time making herself look better than she already does.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      Very interesting hub!

      You stated " I do my makeup as quickly and as minimally as possible and when I’m not at work I am a sneakers and jeans type of person."

      It does not sound like you were born in the wrong century to me! I'm a "baby boomer" male and I can't think of any generation where (most) women did not try to compete for male attention. In fact in earlier eras a lot of women would not be caught dead wearing pants! They wore extremely tight corsets, a bustle, a bustier, a hat, long gloves, and carried a raised umbrella while walking in the sunlight.

      If anything I'd say women have much more (choice) to dress anyway they want to then at any other time in history.

      Women have always had this need to compare themselves to other women especially when it comes to appearances. Even in People Magazine whenever they spot two female stars wearing a similar dress/outfit they will post side by side photos of them with the caption: "Who wore it best?"

      Every major award show is preceded by a "red carpet" stroll so women can remark on the gowns, hair, makeup, and jewelry other women wore.

      If you ask any woman why she wore what she wore she will tell you that she did NOT do it to attract male attention. Instead she will say she thought it was a cute outfit and she looked good in it. Some women get a kick out of having other women envy them and they enjoy watching men fall all over themselves trying to help them or buy them drinks in (hopes) of hooking up with her. Oddly enough oftentimes it's the guy who ignores her that piques her interest. He's a "challenge". If she does become involved with him and he treats her like crap she'll start to feel insecure about herself. Ask anyone who is obsessed with their body; "Have you gained some weight?" and the offer them a slice of cake and they'll turn it down. They might run straight to the gym!

      Another statement you made: "I doubt any other attractive man other than my husband would give me the time of the day, because in society standards I am not worth it."

      First and foremost it is important to remember "beauty" is in he eye of the beholder. Not every woman is going to find your husband to be "attractive" in their eyes. Thankfully we have a planet inhabited with over 7 billion people which means the odds are in everyone's favor there is more than a few people who would attracted to anyone.

      If you doubt that take a walk in the park, go to the beach, a movie, grocery store, Wal-Mart, Golden Corral/buffet, or even church; you are bound to see people (you) don't find attractive with spouses and significant others!

      Having said that deep down no one wants to feel "lucky" to have found someone. Therefore from time to time we (speculate) how we would do if we were single again. We tend to focus on what we want to see instead of looking at the whole picture. Take a stroll anywhere and you'll find that most people do not look like models and movie stars!

      As for the photo most people would wonder what that guy sees in her. However that strictly from the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". There are tons of websites that cater to various people's body type preferences, race, age, marital status, and religion. Not everyone wants the same type of person.


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