- Gender and Relationships»
Contract or Covenant?
I have been reading alot lately about "How to Have The Best Marriage", "How to Spice up your Sex Life", "What it takes to have a Good and Lasting Marriage" and different titles. But I have discovered that there are only two types of marriage: Covenant marriages or contractual marriages.
First, there needs to be a definition of what a contractual marriage is. A contract is defined as "entering into an agreement between 2 or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified." Pretty broad definition. A contract is meant to be broken and is based on the strengths of 2 parties. If one party does not live up to the contract then legal actions force them to do so or to end the marriage with an equitable settlement.
Seeing marriage as a contract is like saying to your spouse " I take you for me and we'll see if this works out."
1. Contracts are most often made for a limited period of time.
2. Contracts most often deal with specific actions.
3. Contracts are based on an "If...Then..." mentality.
4. Contracts are motivated by the desire to get something you want.
5. Contracts are sometimes unspoken and implicit.
A covenant marriage is intended, by God, to be a lifelong relationship exemplifying unconditional love, reconciliation, sexual purity(no adultery) and growth.But realizing it as a covenant changes it to say, " I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life."
1. It is an eternal commitment with God.
2. People can negotiate out of a contract but not a covenant.
3. Covenant is rooted in actions based on choices, not feelings.
4. Based on the strength of one party(GOD) and the weakness of another party(Humans)
5. Covenant is a statement of lifelong commitment and devotion.
I feel that a slight touching of being a submissive wife should be inserted in here as well. Submission to your husband is freely given and grows from respect, not fear and manipulation.Submission is a voluntary status of behavior by putting yourself in another person's hands. One person has been designed by God in each family to be the lead and the other place themselves in their leaders trusting hands. By the wife being submissive to her husband, the husband loves her so much that he in turn gives much authority trust and confidence in her opinion and thereby sets her in high esteem for the world to see.
Of course, this does not mean that a submissive covenant wife is to be a doormat or abused by her husband. It means that you come together and make decisions together. You can agree to disagree but ultimately, it is the husband's final decision. If you have a Biblical, covenant marriage then the decisions made will be God- approved