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Coping With the Post-Valentine's Day Blues

Updated on February 27, 2010

Valentine's Day is over! Maybe you never got that hot date with the heartthrob. Or you got the date, and it turned out to be the date from hell! Or maybe you looked forward to a nice romantic dinner with your spouse, but ended up arguing over the kids. Whatever the case, if you woke up on February 15 singing the post-Valentine's Day blues, you are not alone.

Millions of Americans sucked into the commercial frenzy of this holiday end up with more heartache when Valentine's Day is done and over with. Everybody has this idea that Valentine's Day will transform their life into happily ever after. They're often wrong.

Valentine's Day comes on the heels of New Year's Eve, when many people make grandiose resolutions about finding the love of their lives by V-Day, and then find themselves scrambling to take out anyone who is available a month and a half later. February is a barometer month in terms of finding romance. If you are not satisfied with your romantic life, you've been dealt two stiff blows back to back. New Year's Eve and then Valentine's.

But psychologists say you can overcome the post-Valentine's Day blues if you take control over your life, become more realistic about what you can expect, express your love for people you care about and celebrate friendship.

Make a list of people you value, and tell them so. Friends last longer than romantic relationships. Call your friends, write them, email them or go out with them to do something fun. Have a party and celebrate friendship.

Connect with people electronically. You want to connect with someone but aren't looking for a lover? Reach out and touch your keyboard to get on the Web. There are a lot of people out there who are coming out of a long-term relationship and are lonely.

Remember Valentine's Day was just one day. Keep this holiday in perspective. Just because you were alone doesn't mean you were unloved or unlovable, nor does it mean that you'll be alone forever.

Have a post-Valentine's Day spoof party. Feeling irreverent? Have a party for your single friends and poke fun at the whole holiday! Throw darts at photos of Zac Efron or Megan Fox, read to each other excerpts of the cheesiest romance novels you can find, share with your friends the best lines you ever got from lovers who dumped you. Single people shouldn't have to be apologetic about being single.

Take the time to listen to your partner's gripes about you. Your hubby gave you flowers, candy and dinner, but you are still not satisfied. Why? Studies show that women appreciate attention more than they do gifts. Men should give their mates two undivided hours of their time to listen to the women's gripes about them, with the ultimate goal of changing one of their bad habits. While the woman is talking the man should put his tongue gently between his teeth and stop the tendency to interfere.

Treat yourself to a good time. Feeling blue because nobody gave you chocolates? Treat yourself to a box of heart-shaped chocolates for half-price at the nearest drugstore, count your blessings and get a life!


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    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      As a Canadian I know all about SAD. Thanks for the comment!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      8 years ago from south Florida

      Excellent advice, Hal, for people suffering from Valentine's Day depression. Connect with someone - in person, by phone or by email.

      More than 30,000 people commit suicide every year in the U.S. - it's the 7th leading cause of death and the rate is higher than homicides.

      It is not known how many suicides are triggered by Valentine's Day. It is difficult to categorize because a number of suicides may be triggered by something called SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder - the result of long, cold hard, depressing winter weather.


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