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Could Your Friends Accidently be Sabtoging Your Love Life?

Updated on January 18, 2016

We go to our friends with problems. We trust them with advice and we believe that they will always be there for us. While good friends do want what's best for us could it be that the advice they sometimes give us can destroy our relationship or make it worse than it already is?

Some friends who are cold and distant and don't have good dating experiences may give you really bad advice. They may act like they are trying to protect you but in the long run the advice they are giving you can actually put a damper on your relationship.

Say you meet a guy and both of you come from different worlds. He is really insecure about how it can work. He is also really insecure about himself as well. A good day to dealing with an insecure person is to show them that you are going to be there. So you are showing this person that you care and doing nice things and he even tells you how much he appreciates you. Every time you are happy about it you tell your friend but your friend makes a remark that you shouldn't do it anymore.

That remark could hurt your relationship. Once you stop showing you care they guy will start to feel even worse and he will think that that you do not feel the same way anymore.

Some friends who are greedy believe that in relationships they should be pampered and never have to give anything back. That kind of friend will ruin your relationship. Yes it can be exhausting when you are the one that is doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking. Sometimes there are different circumstances.

If a guy is shy and insecure he is not going to be forward and do things other guys would do. He will do that once he feels comfortable with you and is not scared that you won't leave anymore. Some people have trust issues and are scared to let people in. They have had many people leave in the past and think it will happen again so they are scared to get involved. They are scared to take a chance on a relationship with a girl they really like.

When you care about someone you want to do nice things for them. You want to buy them a Christmas card and bake for them etc. You want to be there for them when they have a bad day and support their goals and dreams.

Girls who are bitter about guys because they have been hurt will give you the wrong advice. They are the ones whom you should not take advice from. If they are jumping to conclusions about a situation or making you jump to conclusions.

For instance you like a guy who is younger than you and because of the age difference they say he is not looking for a relationship. They tell you not to believe what he says when he tells you he wants to be with you.

They are not him and they should not be assuming things. Some guys who are young do not want relationships but there are guys out there who are young and who are happy in relationships. It all depends on the guy.

You could get a good feel on how someone cares for you. If someone is there for you all the time and is always opening up to you about things that are going in your life than the both of you have a special bond.

A best friend is the one that you want to tell everything to. When you are dealing with a friend who is always negative and thinks they know everything that is when you have to put the breaks on. That is when you have to keep things to yourself. The only way to really end things is if the guy is doing something shady or hurting you. If you have a good feel about him and he does care but it is the wrong timing which sometimes it is than let it happen on it's own. Be friends for now and let things fall into place. What's meant to be always finds a way no matter what the current situation looks like.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago

      "Say you meet a guy and both of you come from different worlds. He is really insecure about how it can work. He is also really insecure about himself as well. A good day to dealing with an insecure person is to show them that you are going to be there."

      Sometimes the danger with dealing someone who is insecure is they can constantly keep you in a position of always trying to "prove" you care for them and would never do anything to hurt them....etc

      Insecurity comes from the individual feeling as though they can't trust (them self) to choose a good mate based upon the choices (they) have made in the past. Ideally you want a mate who is mentally healthy and has the least amount of emotional baggage possible.

      Too often women fall into a "nurturing trap" of trying to "fix men" and in the end they feel unappreciated and abandoned when the relationship is over. Choosing to be with an "insecure" person is asking for problems.

      With regard to best friends I would say a person should also choose them wisely! While one wants them to root for their happiness they also must value their honesty over being placated. True friends don't ignore "red flags".

      Ultimately you as the individual has the final say on you date or befriend.

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