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- Singles Life
Could your single friends be damaging your chance for love?
It is always good to have different friends. When you are looking for a serious relationship and you have a best friend who just wants to have fun and date around sometimes it can become an issue. Your single friend can meddle in your buisness and just because she wants to have fun and be single she might even harm your chances of being in a relationship with someone great.
Say you have a budding romance with a guy. You are not there yet but both of you really like each other. You can't seem to get things started but you are both trying to work on it. When you mention it to her she says that if she were in your shoes she would never talk to the guy ever again. You know he did not do anything wrong.
You also know that your friend will date one guy one week and the next move on to someone new. You know that this friend finds faults with every guy she meets and the littlest thing makes her cross a guy off her list.
Now everyone has deal breakers but also no one is perfect either. Your friend is so used to crossing guys off her list that she is trying to rub off on you. She is trying to harm your chances of entering a relationship with a guy you really like.
You meet a guy but you are at different places. A guy who loves you does not want to drag you down. He does not want you to put your life on hold and wait for him. You tell your friend. She says "It's an excuse. He's not ready."
While some guys do use excuses not all guys do. If you have a job offer across the country and he can't go he might want you to take it because he wants you to be happy. He does not want to be the reason you give up your dream and are spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been.
Any guy who makes you wait years for him while he straightens out his life does not care. Any guy who makes you miss out on amazing opportunities because of him does not care.
When people are at two different places it is hard to make it work but with love and patience they could overcome it. The girl has to show him that she is willing to wait but if he doesen't push her away at all and makes her ruin her life and drag her down than he just does not care.
You friend may be saying "He's not ready" because she is all about having fun and not a serious relationship. If she never loved anyone before she would not know the feeling and what you do for the people you love. She would not know that when you love someone, sometimes you just want to see that person happy even if it means not being with them.
Your getting older and you tell your friend "I want to get married." She sulks and replies "You shouldn't tell guys that because that will scare them away." You never mentioned that to any guys you mentioned it to her. You mentioned it to her that everyone else around you is getting married and you are still single.
Your friend is still dating and having her fun that she can't know how you feel. She tells you "Yeah but you should not give up your friends."
Do you have a single friend who tries to meddle in your relationship?
Your at a bar and you see a cute guy. Your friend says "He might not be good in the bedroom." You and your friend are at two totally different places. You are looking for a deep connection with someone and she is just looking for the thrill of the night.
Not only is this friend currently single but she never had an actual boyfriend. She only had flings and dated around. You have had boyfriends in the past and now you are at the point in your life where you are looking for that special someone.
You are looking for someone who will be there for you through thick and thin and you want to be there for someone through thick and thin. When you do have a guy in your life but your not official yet and you are doing nice things for him she will say "What is he doing for you?" Or tell you to stop going out of your way for him.
When you love someone you do things for the other person because you want to. You do not do things because you expect things back in return. You do special things for the other person because you want to make the other person happy.
If you have a single friend who is always giving you negative advice she may actually be harming your chances of finding love rather than helping it. Of course friends do try to help but single people who have never been in a relationship do not know the first thing about love. If your friend is out there having fun she does not know the feeling of being there for someone through the good and bad times and doing things to make them happy. She doesen't believe in fighting for someone. She doesen't know the pain when you want someone to see you as their one and only because she is with a different guy each week. You could still be this person's friend but if you are going to take advice from someone try taking it from someone who was in love before and has been in relationships before at least they could guide you and relate to how you feel.