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Creative ways to manage your anger

Updated on September 15, 2014
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How to Deal With Anger

“Angry people are not always wise.”

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Austen, of Pride and Prejudice fame, clearly had that wisdom. The fruits of anger are seldom sweet. If not released, the taste is cloying and bitter.

Few of us are saints, of course, so we will get angry time and again, for rational, plausible reasons. But not throwing away the bitter fruits of anger makes us completely negative, cynical, or at worst, depressed.

Knowing why we get angry and should discard these bitter fruits motivates us not to hold on to them. Channeling our anger towards more creative pursuits is even better.

Source

Why do people get angry?

1. It is genetic.

2. It is the fault of society.

3. Family background plays a part.

4. It is part of a person's nature.

5. Credit unfairness.

A. Why people get angry

Blame anger on our genes. If your family members have high amounts of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine in their blood, you might have the same tendency. It is possible that anger is a part of our nature.

A baby’s like for mimicking the behavior of its parents and family members compounds this. The background of our family plays a large part in how angry we are.

This brings us to the point that anger, to some degree, is the fault of society. If the circles we belong to propagate anger or give you justified reasons for it, the chances of us becoming angry are high.

Give unfairness some credit for our anger too. Unfairness gives the fruit of anger its bitter taste. The betrayal of a family member or a close friend is difficult to swallow. Disappointment in our failures contributes i to our frustrations.

Source

Why should we release our anger?

1. It makes you feel powerless.

2. It does not give you leverage.

3. Anger shows others your less attractive side.

4. People may not understand your anger.

5. It drains your energy.

B. Why we should release our anger

What gives us plausible reason to throw these fruit away?

The fruit of anger make us powerless. Most of us turn to anger as a way to display our power over someone or assert ourselves in a situation. It works the opposite way; frustration is actually a plea for power. When we become frustrated, we put ourselves in a weaker position. That does not make it very likable, does it?

Leaving the taste of bitter fruit in our mouths does not give us any leverage either. We show others our less attractive sides. Anger may not give us what we want because people may not empathize with us enough to help us.

Besides, eating these bitter, frustrated fruit drains our energy. It leaves us completely exhausted.

We can reserve the energy for far better pursuits.

Source

C. Creative ways to vent your frustration

Discarding these bitter fruit needs our conscious effort. There is no one who can claim not to feel periodic frustration. It would make them inhuman. We need these fruit to help us decide what is positive and negative in our lives.

1. Be crafty.

Being crafty is one way of removing these fruit. If we are passionate about arts and crafts, getting involved in an art project takes our minds off our troubles, at least temporarily.

In the midst of the project, we may even discover ways to deal with the frustration.

2. Write about it.

For us writers, penning our thoughts is the perfect way to deal with unwanted fruit. It gives us greater clarity about our situations and helps us think them through.

We emerge with better tools to handle them.

3. Compose a song.

Then, there are the musically inclined. Composing a song has helped many songwriters deal with their frustrations. Eric Clapton wrote Tears in Heaven to deal with the loss of his son, who fell out of the window and onto a busy street.

John Lennon may have written the song Imagine to express his frustration about the conflict going on in the world.

4. Cook.

How about cooking these foul-tasting fruit? Make a sweet dessert out of them.

Cooking or baking is a constructive way of dealing with our anger. We may not have a constructive solution for our problems, but we can at least satisfy our appetites.

5. Play games.

Those of us who have children or pets may find them a healthy outlet for their frustration. Before you raise your eyebrows, no, no, no, they are not punching bags.

We can design simple games to play with them or take them on outings. My favorite way of releasing the day’s frustration is to have a jog with my terrier, Cloudy. Children and pets raise our endorphin levels.

6. Dance.

Care to dance? If you are so inclined, dancing is therapeutic. A long-time friend, dance therapist Elizabeth Rutten-Ng, will definitely agree that dance promotes healing.

She promotes embodied movement and dance as a way of connecting with ourselves and our concerns. Doing so clears the mind and helps us focus on creating solutions to our pressing problems.

7. Design a mind map.

Those who are more left-brained may want to create a mind map instead. This allows us to map and connect the reasons for our anger logically.

While this seems like a mechanical solution for emotional problems, I think it helps to pause a little. Mind maps, the brainchild of Tony Buzan, force us to think our problems through. In the midst of mapping our frustrations, we may discover ways to get rid of those sour tasting fruit.

8. Walk somewhere you never have before.

Taking a walk in quiet, forested areas or near lakes helps us quiet the mind. No matter what our personality types are, we all need the time to think.

A walk in the woods or near a lake is an opportunity to work on the pressing stresses of the day and relieve ourselves of our burdens.

9. Throw a party.

Where else would sour fruit go but in a cocktail with some wine? Why not have a simple gathering of a few trusted friends or relatives when we feel frazzled?

It will take effort and time to organize, but they may offer constructive solutions for your frustration in the middle of it all.

10. Record a video.

The last solution is not for everyone, but it may help a few who are more visual. Record a video, then take a look at yourself.

Doing so may prompt you to discard your bitter fruit, for none of us wants to appear stressed or angst-ridden. You may even have an “a-ha” moment and find a path through your maze of worries.

Source

D. Conclusion


Discarding the bitter fruits of anger is a worthwhile effort.

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    • Papeeebooks profile image

      Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio 13 months ago from Ghana

      Great article. I am having problems managing my temper. I will apply some of the tips in here and see how things go. Thumbs up.

    • pinto2011 profile image

      Subhas 14 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Wow! I have never imagined that there are so many ways. This is called lateral thinking. To think something different. You have made it so innovative and interesting.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 20 months ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Michelle, these are all excellent and creative ways of managing anger. Managing anger was essential for me when I was teaching English in Bangkok a few years ago. When I really got angry with the class for misbehaving, I would just call a time out and not do anything for a few minutes until things quieted down. A lot of Thai manage their anger by smiling. I am sharing this excellent hub with Hubpages followers and on Facebook.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Penny!

    • MichalWrotter profile image

      Michal 2 years ago from Czech Republic

      i fight with anger every day. I have a very stressful work and as aquarius I require too much from myself and people around me. When it is not organized the way I need it or pictured, I get crazy. I do that often. My angryness makes me crazy as I always blamme myself.

      I very like your article. Thank you for amazing insights.

    • Penny Sebring profile image

      Penny Sebring 2 years ago from Fort Collins

      I'm going to post that list on my fridge just to remind myself when I am frustrated :)

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Audrey!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thank you!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      I think a nice meal actually helps, Doris!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Oh yes, it is difficult to cure ourselves of our anger issues alright! But that's the point...we keep at them!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks very much for your feedback, my success 8! I hope it has been helpful1

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Cristina!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      I'd love to see it in Ukraine!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Just saying hello and hoping you are well!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      LOL! Thanks again!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Suzette!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Mary.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Chitra!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks so much!

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      www.fireflystech.com 3 years ago

      Wha.. nice article.... very help full..

      http://www.fireflystech.com

    • doris and me profile image

      Mohammad Tanvir Ibne Amin 3 years ago from Dhaka

      Great hub. I have all good virtues except anger. I usually go outside to eat something from restaurant to reduce anger.

    • ExpectGreatThings profile image

      ExpectGreatThings 3 years ago from Illinois

      Well done on this hub!! I'd never heard of a mind map. That sounds like an interesting experiment. And I have a feeling if I ever had the courage to video myself at an angry moment, it would completely cure me of any anger issues! ~ Ginger

    • mySuccess8 profile image

      mySuccess8 3 years ago

      Anger is a completely natural, usually healthy, human emotion that we all experience. But the intensity of anger can range widely from mild to rage. You have given great tips to pick, depending on which ones are suited to each individual, on how to ease up on ourselves to control and vent our anger, before it leads to problems in human relationships and the overall quality of life. You have taught us how to release anger more productively. Congrats on Hub of the Day!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Congratulations on a well deserving HOTD!

      Excellent hub!

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      Congrats on Hub of the Day! Happy Holidays, too!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Recording a video of yourself in a fit of rage is a fantastic idea! Chances are they will never show their anger again...in public. Such an ugly site. Lol Congrats on HOTD! :)

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 3 years ago from India

      Michelle, congrats on HOTD. Anger is natural like all other emotions in our mind, but it must always be under check. The methods suggested by you are useful.

      Anger management is like an art, we must learn to contain our anger as well as to face angry words of other people.

      How apt is metaphor ( bitter fruit ) for anger. Always remaining in an angry mode is damaging to mental and physical health. Great tips. Voted up and shared.

    • smnoman profile image

      Blogger 3 years ago

      It is a very informative article for us and will help us a lot. Keep writing such a nice post.

    • Arachnea profile image

      Tanya Jones 3 years ago from Texas USA

      Giving vent to creativity or a flurry of activity is a great way to allow anger to dissipate. Once anger is managed then well-thought decisions can be made. BTW, I recognize all of the fruits above except one, the white berries. None of them is bitter in season. Out of season, perhaps.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      I nearly forgot, Congratulations on HOTD!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      Excellent article on anger. I like the metaphor of the spoiled fruit representing anger in this article. You give interesting causes of anger and ways to combat or avoid it. The mind map is interesting to me because I have never heard of that one before. Thanks so much for an interesting and informative article. Voted up+ and shared.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      Congrats on HOTD! I kinda wish you had labelled the photos of the fruits you included, but I'm sure they are all bitter, right?

      Great Hub. I have found with age I no longer lose my temper as I did in my youth.

      Voted UP, etc. and shared.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      I came back to congratulate you for HOTD! Wonderful hub indeed, suggesting creative ways to manage anger.

      Thanks!

    • monia saad profile image

      monia ben saad 3 years ago from In my Dream

      very good idea and great hub thank you a lot

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      Man from Modesto 3 years ago

      PS- the little yellow fruit with dry leaves shown at top... that is a fruit available where I currently live, Ukraine. It delivers a unique flavor, sweet and only a littly tangy. It is delicious! One is placed on top of each wedge of a popular style of cheesecake.

    • profile image

      Man from Modesto 3 years ago

      PS- the little yellow fruit with dry leaves shown at top... that is a fruit available where I currently live, Ukraine. It delivers a unique flavor, sweet and only a littly tangy. It is delicious! One is placed on top of each wedge of a popular style of cheesecake.

    • profile image

      Man from Modesto 3 years ago

      The only true way to peace is to invite Jesus into your heart. I know that Hollywood uses psychology to pair a lot of bad emotions and violent images and rotten people with that name... But, the truth is, once a person comes to know the Prince of Peace, they literally find more peace in all things.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Nature is a really great outlet, Deb!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      These are all wonderful suggestions for getting bad thoughts out of our heads. My greatest ally is being in nature, no matter how frustrating my day has been. The sun, the trees, grass, sky, and denizens of the lake all tend to put me in a positive frame of mind.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Rasma!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Janelle!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Denise!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Paula.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks Chitra.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Vellur.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Pawpawwrites!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Thanks, Devika!

    • Paula Atwell profile image

      Paula Atwell 3 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      First of all, I love pomegranates. :) Very useful ideas, and I love your pictures of rotten fruit and vegetables to illustrate. Great visual. I myself try to work out anger physically, although I don't tend to keep anger for most things after getting it out.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Very interesting and creative ways to manage the anger. Walking acts a therapy to me. Writing also is a good healer.

      Thanks and voted up and shared on HP!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      I learned a long time ago that anger is a useless and very negative emotion. Great hub and passing this on.

    • Janellegems profile image

      Janellegems 3 years ago from United States

      Great Hub and wonderful truths on anger. These are some excellent creative tips in dealing with anger. Writing, talking walks and playing games works best for me. voted up!!!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Discarding the bitter fruits of anger is a great metaphor! I like to take walks when I am angry and talk out loud to work through what is bothering me. It especially helps me to deal with family issues when there is no one around to hear it! Now, as a writer, I have found that writing helps me to deal with my frustrations. If I have something to work through, I write an article about it, then I feel better!

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Who better than your exes to vent with, indeed, Bill! Wouldn't have thought it of her, though, she comes across as sweet.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      How true - discarding the bitter fruits of anger is a worthwhile effort. Great tips on overcoming anger. I love the long walk, best to let off steam and get good exercise too, double the benefit!! Great hub.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I laughed when I saw "compose a song." I was thinking of Taylor Swift skewering her former boyfriends. LOL

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      Jim 3 years ago from Kansas

      Nice list of ways to vent. I think age can help too.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Anger is a badly expressed emotion but only if you let it be. One is always responsible or their actions from anger. If you can walk away to avoid the consequences.

    • midget38 profile image
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      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      How can we stop being angry and clenching our fists?