Creative ways to manage your anger
How to Deal With Anger
“Angry people are not always wise.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Austen, of Pride and Prejudice fame, clearly had that wisdom. The fruits of anger are seldom sweet. If not released, the taste is cloying and bitter.
Few of us are saints, of course, so we will get angry time and again, for rational, plausible reasons. But not throwing away the bitter fruits of anger makes us completely negative, cynical, or at worst, depressed.
Knowing why we get angry and should discard these bitter fruits motivates us not to hold on to them. Channeling our anger towards more creative pursuits is even better.
Why do people get angry?
1. It is genetic.
2. It is the fault of society.
3. Family background plays a part.
4. It is part of a person's nature.
5. Credit unfairness.
A. Why people get angry
Blame anger on our genes. If your family members have high amounts of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine in their blood, you might have the same tendency. It is possible that anger is a part of our nature.
A baby’s like for mimicking the behavior of its parents and family members compounds this. The background of our family plays a large part in how angry we are.
This brings us to the point that anger, to some degree, is the fault of society. If the circles we belong to propagate anger or give you justified reasons for it, the chances of us becoming angry are high.
Give unfairness some credit for our anger too. Unfairness gives the fruit of anger its bitter taste. The betrayal of a family member or a close friend is difficult to swallow. Disappointment in our failures contributes i to our frustrations.
Why should we release our anger?
1. It makes you feel powerless.
2. It does not give you leverage.
3. Anger shows others your less attractive side.
4. People may not understand your anger.
5. It drains your energy.
B. Why we should release our anger
What gives us plausible reason to throw these fruit away?
The fruit of anger make us powerless. Most of us turn to anger as a way to display our power over someone or assert ourselves in a situation. It works the opposite way; frustration is actually a plea for power. When we become frustrated, we put ourselves in a weaker position. That does not make it very likable, does it?
Leaving the taste of bitter fruit in our mouths does not give us any leverage either. We show others our less attractive sides. Anger may not give us what we want because people may not empathize with us enough to help us.
Besides, eating these bitter, frustrated fruit drains our energy. It leaves us completely exhausted.
We can reserve the energy for far better pursuits.
C. Creative ways to vent your frustration
Discarding these bitter fruit needs our conscious effort. There is no one who can claim not to feel periodic frustration. It would make them inhuman. We need these fruit to help us decide what is positive and negative in our lives.
1. Be crafty.
Being crafty is one way of removing these fruit. If we are passionate about arts and crafts, getting involved in an art project takes our minds off our troubles, at least temporarily.
In the midst of the project, we may even discover ways to deal with the frustration.
2. Write about it.
For us writers, penning our thoughts is the perfect way to deal with unwanted fruit. It gives us greater clarity about our situations and helps us think them through.
We emerge with better tools to handle them.
3. Compose a song.
Then, there are the musically inclined. Composing a song has helped many songwriters deal with their frustrations. Eric Clapton wrote Tears in Heaven to deal with the loss of his son, who fell out of the window and onto a busy street.
John Lennon may have written the song Imagine to express his frustration about the conflict going on in the world.
How about cooking these foul-tasting fruit? Make a sweet dessert out of them.
Cooking or baking is a constructive way of dealing with our anger. We may not have a constructive solution for our problems, but we can at least satisfy our appetites.
5. Play games.
Those of us who have children or pets may find them a healthy outlet for their frustration. Before you raise your eyebrows, no, no, no, they are not punching bags.
We can design simple games to play with them or take them on outings. My favorite way of releasing the day’s frustration is to have a jog with my terrier, Cloudy. Children and pets raise our endorphin levels.
Care to dance? If you are so inclined, dancing is therapeutic. A long-time friend, dance therapist Elizabeth Rutten-Ng, will definitely agree that dance promotes healing.
She promotes embodied movement and dance as a way of connecting with ourselves and our concerns. Doing so clears the mind and helps us focus on creating solutions to our pressing problems.
7. Design a mind map.
Those who are more left-brained may want to create a mind map instead. This allows us to map and connect the reasons for our anger logically.
While this seems like a mechanical solution for emotional problems, I think it helps to pause a little. Mind maps, the brainchild of Tony Buzan, force us to think our problems through. In the midst of mapping our frustrations, we may discover ways to get rid of those sour tasting fruit.
8. Walk somewhere you never have before.
Taking a walk in quiet, forested areas or near lakes helps us quiet the mind. No matter what our personality types are, we all need the time to think.
A walk in the woods or near a lake is an opportunity to work on the pressing stresses of the day and relieve ourselves of our burdens.
9. Throw a party.
Where else would sour fruit go but in a cocktail with some wine? Why not have a simple gathering of a few trusted friends or relatives when we feel frazzled?
It will take effort and time to organize, but they may offer constructive solutions for your frustration in the middle of it all.
10. Record a video.
The last solution is not for everyone, but it may help a few who are more visual. Record a video, then take a look at yourself.
Doing so may prompt you to discard your bitter fruit, for none of us wants to appear stressed or angst-ridden. You may even have an “a-ha” moment and find a path through your maze of worries.
Discarding the bitter fruits of anger is a worthwhile effort.