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Crossdressing Part One: Accepting Who You Are

Updated on January 12, 2018

About the article

Hello my name is Josh, but sometimes I am referred to as Josalyn. Yes I am a crossdresser. What does this mean? It means I like to wear clothing of the opposite sex. Truthfully I feel that clothes are nothing more than just pieces of cloth and history has shown that clothing should not be subjected to one gender, but I also feel that it is important to help those who battle with themselves on this subject weather your a crossdresser or someone who is close in any way with a crossdresser.

This article is geared towards helping in taking the first step into accepting that this is who you are. For those who may know someone who crossdresses this can help you as well.

Questioning yourself

Some crossdressers start early on in there lives. Maybe as a five year old you tried on your sisters clothes or got into your moms makeup. Some may not have started until late in life, perhaps you and your spouse did a gender swap costume for Halloween and you loved it and wanted to do it more. For me I always loved the idea of wear girls clothes as a young child. It was senior year that I got to finally experience it as I was a girl for Halloween that year. Needless to say I enjoyed it and the girl I borrower the clothes from helped me to get started.

No matter when you start you'll always go through the process of questioning who you are and why are you doing this. You may even find yourself purging and ending that part of you. For some thay're fine with that, but others will find that it is too much a part of them and their more miserable than when they crossdressed. The questions will always run through your mind.

-Is this wrong?

-Should I stop?

-Am I gay?

-Am I transgender?

-Whats wrong with me?

-Why do I did this?

-How will I be accepted?

These are the questions that this article will touch upon, a few will even be talked about in a bit more depth in later articles. Remember these are normal questions that will run through your mind when discovering who you are.

Is this wrong?

No. Contrary to popular belief, your doing nothing wrong. Some may feel a different opinion and they're entitled to that, but if your happy then all that matters is how you feel. You will hear of people telling you that your going to hell and the bible says not to do it. I will get to this more in a later article but when the bible was written heels, skirts and swim suits didn't exist. People will try to make you feel like what your doing is wrong, but it is not there decision. Do not let others put it into your mind that your doing something wrong, also don't let your own mind begin to think this.


Should I stop?

This is not a yes or a no answer. This is a personal choice and only you can answer it. Some stop and are happy with their decision, but if it is a true part of who you, you may regret stopping. Do not make the decision to stop lightly. Also if you do make that choice be sure it's for yourself.

In some cases doing it for yourself may not be as easy. Having to be married and have children for example. This is a case that if you do find that crossdressing is a part of you then serious discussion is needed with your partner to help them understand who you are, and those who are married or in a relationship with a crossdresser don't discount it or put them down. Hear them out, you don't have to agree with it but at least understand where they are coming from.

Am I Gay?

This is another one that is open to personal preference. Being gay and being a crossdresser do not necessarily go hand in hand. Your sexuality refers your attraction to the opposite or the same gender. You may also be attracted to feminine or masculine persona regardless of gender. Your clothes however is not the reason for your sexuality. Like your attraction to the kind of clothes you like to wear, your sexuality is also a part of discovering yourself. If you really want to know then try it. See what it is that attracts you.

Now I'm not saying just go out and find random people. Like dating in high school let it happen naturally, and which ever way you discover don't be scared of who you are.

Am I Transgender?

By now you've realized that there are questions that can't be answered online. Some come from learning about yourself. This one is especially tough because its not like deciding what videogame to play. This one you have to really search yourself and be sure that its you. Most all crossdressers have had this question but the ones who havn't made the transition have discovered there not.

However I shouldn't say all who havn't transition found that there not transgender. I do have friends who want to transition but may not have the means or certain life situations make it difficult. I have friends that have made the transition or are in the process. They,ve had a difficult journey but are happy to have made the choice to be who they are. You may not even went to go full transition. Maybe you only want a more feminine body.

What's wrong with me?

Absolutly nothing. Truthfully this is just the same as the first question but is a reacurring question as many will have you belive that you are sick and in need of help. You are not wrong, do not allow others to put this into your mind.

Why do I do this?

There are a multitude of answers to this one. One answer may be that it's a fetish. For some that is the case. It's a sexual desire, or a fantasy for them. They may do the act and when it has run it's course their good to go, or others may want to live life in that fantasy all the time.

It may be that you just like the clothes or the makeup. Its more than just a fetish, it's a normal part of your life. Maybe you like the flow of a lace or the feel of silk. I'm not saying that some outfits wont give you a bit of a turn on, but it's not the main premise as to why you do it.

Maybe you're doing it just to see how it feels. You may even stop after a while because it's not you. Their are many reasons, and knowing why you like will help to understand you. Think of how dose it make you feel sexually, or maybe it just makes you feel beautiful and you just want to spend the day like that. Understanding your reasons will help you to understand yourself, but don't feel ashamed for whatever the reason may be.

How will I be Accepted?

This one is the big one. It's probably the most important answer. Don't worry what others think. You have to accept yourself first. Be confident in who you are. When you know yourself everything else will fall into place.

Truth is no one is 100 percent accepted. There is always something about each of us that someone else isn't going to like. Those who do accept you will show that they truly care, but you have to accept yourself.

My girlfriend always told me when went out that it's just me and her, no one else mattered. She helped me learn to accept this side of me, and she still loves me being me.


Accepting yourself and discovering who you are can be difficult, but your not doing it for the public, your doing it for you. Keep it in your mind the importance of knowing who you are.

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    • Sara Llweyllyn profile image

      Sara Llweyllyn 

      9 months ago

      I love the encouragement u tell others to remember, "Don't worry about what others think". You are right, I am doing this for myself no one else. Cant wait for other articles, keep posting.

    • Jess Tilley profile image

      Jess Tilley 

      9 months ago

      Awesome article, and a great place to start if you are wondering what all of those 'feelings are about.

      Don't be scared. Embrace you ❤

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