- Gender and Relationships
How to Get Through Crushing That Crush
Tally it Up!
Do you have a crush worth crushing?
Hey that person is pretty cute guys...
We've all been there, at the end of the unrequited tela novela or romance novel our mind has created for us. He is there...looking as perfect as ever, and you can't help but swoon. You imagine him embracing you just the way you like, and he brings his lips ever so close to your ear, he whispers that he has always liked you, and he just didn't know how to say it. But now he does, "My passion for you burns me so fervently I may die without your soothing touch; I love you." From there...it may get a little R rated and, though I could definitely supply that sort of writing...well, that's not what we are here for.
You see him every day, and you feel your throat tighten. You want to tell him how you feel...maybe you even have, but to no avail. What ever the case is, this crush is stuck in your head.
Ugh! Puppy love is so over and done with! But then... why do you keep looking? Why do you keep going back and trying? Is it that bad to want to have that person you desire in your arms? Is it that inconceivable to imagine dating, getting married and having four kids, a house, master bath (excluding the three and a half baths in the rest of the house), two dogs and a big yard where you lounge around with him by your pool and watch the kid's -what is Timothy doing over there to his sister? OMG TIMOTHY STOP DROWNING YOUR SISTER!!
I guess what I'm trying to point out here is that it's not going to be how you imagined. A crush is super nice to have, and it can definitely help distract the mind from well, in my case anything really. BUT there comes a time when you have to see that person for who they really are.
1. Stop idolizing them. Sure, they may seem like the perfect individual, but are they really?
The answer: No. Remember that saying, "love is blind" well, I'm afraid it's given you tunnel vision. Don't worry though, one way to fix this problem is to actually hang out with that crush of yours and get to know them at a personal level.
Another option is to ask your self what you like about that person and why, as well as find something you find irksome, chances are it's more than irksome and your tunnel vision just makes it seem okay.
2. Express yourself and move on. Tell 'em. I'm not kidding, just spit it out, what's the worst thing that happens? They say no?
Answer: That really isn't the worst thing that can happen.
If you are afraid because that person is a friend of yours, well let me tell you, it shouldn't matter. A friend won't stop being your friend just because you like them. Help yourself out and just confess to that person, friends or not (aka strangers).
The biggest regret you'll have is never voicing it, trust me.
3. Focus on yourself. What are you afraid you aren't good enough?
Answer: That person probably doesn't even deserve you. Straight up. The majority of the time we tend to sale ourselves short, especially in the realm of love interests. Give yourself some credit.
Also, if you haven't even asked them out or told them you like them, you don't know what they think about you.
4. Talk it through with friends. Where is your emotional support?
Answer: Legit it's right behind you! If you don't want to talk with friend then you can turn to family as well. Sometimes we don't give the people who love and support us the kind of credit they deserve.
Another form of support can be by confiding in strangers, turns out some of the best advice you can get comes from the people you don't even know. The reason being, they don't care if their being brutally honest is going to hurt your feelings or not.
5. Cut it off. Are they worth this?
Answer: I really can't answer that for you. Crushes are called that for simply being pretty fast, reckless and hard. When the person knows, three possibilities can take place: They return your feelings, They tell you no, or worse they lead you on.
Dealing with a narcissistic and semi sadistic crush that crushes you repeatedly.
Personal response: Nothing hurts more than having someone take your feelings, as passionate as they are, and mix them around in their lukewarm oatmeal. Chances are that you will get cold, and feel lonely too. But If you are reading this, well you already knew that, huh?
Drop that person, trust me here. They are going to just keep hurting you. Something I've learned the hard way is that even when we think we are in love, it may just be a crush. And gosh they will hurt you, drop you and just walk away.
Don't be afraid to step away too though, you will find another person, and even if you've managed to hook up a bit or it's been going on for years, you don't owe it to anyone (most definitely that person) to keep doing it.
Remember that tunnel vision we talked about? Well use it to tunnel out of their grasp instead. Take some cooking classes, a yoga class, or just go see you friends and family. Chances are you will be better off for it!
© 2018 Sam