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Like father like daughter.....a case of genetically linked behavior
Genes triggers our behavior
Genes are the magical ingredients that shapes and relates the behavior of our offspring's. Many scientific and behavioral researches back the notion that our children are our reflection, some less and some more, while some are mirrors of their past.
Why daughters are like their fathers? A simple story of genetically linked behavior.
I heard a story of one of my friends in which she stated the overbearing and sometimes exhausting genetically linked behavior of her daughter.
I asked here why and here is what she told me:
Simply, I don’t know. Well genes cannot be the only solution to all my agonies. There has to be something else. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to think about it. She is her father's daughter. Then every other day she does something and I cannot help asking myself why she can’t behave like me.....sophisticated, disciplined and stubborn. Well I would not much appreciate her being stubborn with me, but is it too much to ask that she, for once shows a glimpse of my genetic makeup. No, not at all. She has to be her father's daughter. I would have not been whining that much on this aspect has my husband carried her for 9 months and almost 2 weeks to be precise.
She does not like to eat vegetables and says, 'mom, I am a non-veg'. And she is just 6 years old. She only listens to me when I yell at her; not before and not after. Typical of her dad. She puts her undergarments behind the door. No she won’t bother to go to laundry room to put her used ones in the laundry basket. She would shove everything under her bed when asked to clean the room. She would watch Tom & Jerry, same episode and laugh out loud as if she is seeing it for the first time. She would watch the silliest cartoon shows and would torment me by asking to watch it with her. She does all these things in line to what her dad does that sometimes I imagine a conspiracy against me. I imagine that both of them have teamed up just to annoy me and make my already miserable life pathetic. If you are now starting to believe that may be I have become paranoid, then so be it.
After 7 years of a seemingly happy married life I have started to think that may be my life is not so happy. It’s as routine and monotones than everyone else's life. Is this really what I want others to believe? I don’t think so. I want others to believe that my life is full of joy and am fully contend. I like to believe it myself believe me. Just that I want something that speaks of me as me. I would like my daughter to exhibit a meager 5% of my genetic makeup too. I want her to care about things that I care about and worry about things that are worth worrying.
Now when I come to think about it, I think not. I don’t want my daughter to be like me and then complain about things like me. I know why my daughter is like her father. My husband is not genetically criminal. It’s me. It’s always been me. I wanted my daughter to look like her father and now she is, not in looks but in moods. She is serene, carefree and happy all the time. I wanted her to be like that and mostly I prayed that she be like her dad. So why am I complaining now. I have no right to complain. I should be content with what she is and what she will be. It’s just that I am so proud of myself that I want my daughter to be like me, proud and snobbish. Off course she is intelligent like me; there is no doubt about it. But at the same time she is gullible and loving. She sometimes kisses me goodnight in the middle of the night when she wakes up to go to bathroom. She come to my side of the bed and gives a little kiss on my cheek so light as she aims not to wake me up. But I am her mother and I know. And as my daughter says, moms know the best.
Genes do work!
That reminds me again why she is like her dad. Her dad used to say the same thing. That just did it. After rationalizing so long why my daughter should be like her dad I have started to whine again. Why can’t I live in peace and be happy just like she is. Am I jealous? No. just amazed how she does that. Well not every daughter is lucky to have a dad like that. My mother was but I am not. That said I should leave this discussion for some other time.
Who do you see?
Who do you see in your daughter/ son?
Moral of the story
It may not be a perfect example of 'father complex' as Freud and Jung would have justified, but scientifically the story is about genetically linked behavior.