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Date me not

Updated on April 23, 2015

Adventures in On-line/Chat-line dating

In the age of fast, faster, and fastest I often wonder do people date anymore. Many people, now more than ever are using on-line chat sites and phone lines to find a significant other. Now I know what you might be thinking, "Well what's wrong with that?" Nothing, but could we really call it dating? These methods do provide a sense of instant gratification because you are able to log on to a site or dial a number and you get to see or hear over (on the low end) 30 people. All of this done with-in the comforts of your own home, job, etc...

So what's the point I am trying to make, well the point is this how can you truly connect with someone if you are not physically around them? Some people think that these methods are the actual dating itself, hence the term on-line dating. But if you are not willing to take a chance on meeting a safe actual person then does this suggest that you might be closed off or have that type of mindset.

True Story

I talked with a woman who had a terrible experience when she engaged in phone chat-lines. She told me that she had been talking to a man that said to her he wasn't looking for an easy hook-up but conversation over the phone. As she talked with the guy for a few days she noticed some things that was out of the ordinary but not far-fetched. The fact that he loved ice cream and talked about it so much raised her subconscious but it was nothing to fret over. Now I know what you are thinking, "Well everybody likes ice-cream." Although everybody loves ice-cream or at least most of us do, she couldn't remember the last time she talked with a guy that talked about ice-cream a lot. The guy asked her out to a bar and grill with the option of catching a movie at the end of the week. She accepted the date because in this day and age as she put it "Nobody dates anymore."

Talking to him without sending any pictures between the two of them was a bit careless but she thought she would see him when he takes her out on the date and she didn't want to come off superficial. The time had arrived for the date and at a first glance she thought that the guy was a little short and slim for her taste. During their conversation the guy comes clean around beer number 3 by telling her he was a transitioning man and he asked her was that a problem. The woman was naturally upset not because her new phone buddy was not born a man, but because she hadn't been on a date in long time.

The woman asked why didn't he tell her in the beginning before they decided to meet and the transitioning man told her that he wanted to get to know a woman without all of the judgement. To the woman he was dressed like a man, sounded like a man, and from the neck up you couldn't tell the difference. She wasn't particularly upset at the fact that she had been lied to but she felt sorry for the poor fellow because he misrepresented himself. As I listened to the story I wondered what would anyone else do in that situation including myself. I found it to be a little ironic that the man was looking for a nonjudgemental label by not telling the truth and instead was seen by the woman as a deceiver, her word not mine.

Needless to say she finished her beer but did not stay for dinner. She was polite to the man but she couldn't stay under false pretenses.

The quest for on-line or chat-line dating continues with this one.

Do you think the woman was wrong for assuming that woman are heavier ice-cream eaters?

Keep this in mind that meeting anyone on/off line can be dangerous.


1. Make sure you know who you are talking to do a weaving out process, ask lots of questions.

2. Always meet in a public place for the first few dates.

3. Make sure someone knows where you are when you are meeting your date.

4. Do not invite someone to your home until you are completely comfortable with that person.

5. Be comfortable in your own skin.

What are your thoughts on this story or do you have any additional tips to add on meeting people safely please share.

Be safe and happy dating


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