- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Dating Someone Who Still Struggles From a Past Addiction
So you met the love of your life. Halfway into talking he opens up to you that he had a past. He is scared that you are not going to want to continue things with him. He says that he changed but for some reason he is still acting strange. Then down the line you hear him tell someone that he can't be in a relationship right now because he is struggling. What do you do?
Some people say that once someone goes down that bad road people never change. That is not true. People can change at any point if they want to. It is a hard thing to do but with willpower they could start over and better their life.
In order to be in a relationship with someone like this however you have to make sure that they changed. You could give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that they stopped and are getting better because without trust you do not have a relationship. You also have to look at the other factors. If they have friends who are doing things they could be getting sucked back into that life. If they aren't saving up to go back to school or applying to a better job or thinking of a better carreer path etc they did not really change.
There are many successful and famous people today who have hit rock bottom in the past and overcame addictions. Then there are people who kept falling back into the bad habbit. It has to be up to the person to want to change. If they do not want to change and want to have a good life then they will never have the good life. Miracles do happen though.
Right now you and this guy might not be together because he has to get better. That does not mean down the road that the both of you won't be together. There is no time limit. There is no now or never. Just because something is not happening right now does not mean that it will never happen. Have faith that whatever is meant to happen will happen and let the chips fall where they may.
Would you ever date someone with a past?
It is hard when you love someone who has an addiction. Some people will say that it could work out and it is an excuse if the guy pushes you away. If he pushes you away it is because he does not want to drag you down. When someone is suffering they do not want to bring the people they love down with them. They do not want people who are from a higher status to see them weak, vulnerable and doing bad things that they should not be doing.
You have to be strong and know that you can't be with this person. Not until they get better. You do not want to get dragged down with them. You could get in trouble with the law and everyday you could be miserable. You will never know what they are doing when you are not around and even worse they could bring home unwanted diseases.
Walking away is the toughest thing to do but if they are not willing to get better than that is what you have to do. You deserve a life of happiness. You could still talk to each other and depending on how much you loved the person you might always love each other but if they are not in a good place then you just can't be together at the moment.
Love is out there and once again you do not know what happens down the road. You could run into each other and he could tell you that he is in a better place and finally take you out for drinks. If he says that then go and see for yourself weather or not he has changed. He could have a great job down the line and start going to church every week and not do that anymore and the both of you could be so happy. Sometimes in life it is all about timing. So trust the universe because the universe has your back and let whatever is meant to happen happen.