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Dating Tips

Updated on January 7, 2022

How to Date Multiple Partners Simultaneously


1. Become bi-sexual.
- I realize that some of you have just thrown up a little bit in your mouth, but hear me out. It is far easier to keep things in perspective and maintain a reasonable amount of tolerance when you imagine these two scenarios.

Girl Date- She is driving the car and she is letting you change the station whenever you feel like it. She also does the cutest lesbian move to ever exist: she lays her hand, palm up, on the center console-an open invitation to initiate skin to skin contact, that immediately sends your imagination below the belt. But then she starts crying because you didn’t understand her when she raised her eyebrows at you.

Boy Date- He is driving the truck and dominating the radio with the world’s worst country singer/rock group OR telling you about himself, Then he casually reaches over and places his rough but tender hand in your hair, right at the nape of your neck and pushes with just enough pressure to let you know you could be servicing him right now if you were his idea of perfect

They can both be fun and they can both make you want to follow a lemming.

2. Find dates from different cities.
- I actually keep all of mine in entirely different counties: miles and miles apart.

3. Don’t have a type.
- this eliminates the accidental slip-ups over mentioning movies you thought you saw with one, when in actuality it was one of the others which leaves you arguing for hours.
Get yourself a nerd who like electronica music and claims to be a staunch Democrat, a jock who listens to country and calls it art and can do his own brake job form home while watching Glen Beck vomit up nonsense, a musician who doesn‘t seem to like music except for their own, and a soldier who drinks whiskey and talks about wanting to get back in there and fight. The point is, be sure they are all different enough that you do not confuse them in your own mind. Plus with them being in different cities, you will never happen into someone at your favorite bar or end up at the same music show as country lover while you are out with electronica.

Positive side to this equation
1. You can tell your funniest joke/story repeatedly and it still feels fresh.
2. You can look hot in your only ‘hot outfit’ on multiple occasions.
3. Whichever ones seems the most presentable gets to come to family events with you.
4. Unbelievable amounts of sex (for those of you who are insatiable)
5. No heartbreak. One leaves, you still have four or five, just replace him or her.
6. It confuses the hell out of your family and makes all your friends envious of your social life.

1. You are going to realise at some point that someone has feelings for someone.
2. You still go home empty handed.

     Don’t be afraid to try again if you fail at multiple dating the first go-round. It took months of self-talk before I ever tried and I couldn’t even juggle two. But I met someone I liked one day and we just couldn’t spend enough time together with our schedules. Then I met someone new and I liked that person too…. And so on and so forth. So don’t push it and try to scoop up all your dates at once, bring them on slowly and set a nice comfortable rhythm for yourself.

This is NOT about being a player. It is wrong to make false promises to another person or to have them believe you are being exclusively with them. Be up front and honest about your intentions. Just, sugarcoat it, make it sound like they want it as well.


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