- Gender and Relationships
Dating When You Are 60 Yrs. and Older
Many much older adults, that is, those older than 60 yrs., or those some would call "elderly", suddenly find themselves facing life without their loved one for all the usual reasons: death, divorce. While the reasons do not change, you do physically, and facing dating again at the much older age is weird. That is something usually associated with teens, under 40's. It is a mindset that is hard to get over. Right away, the issues seem more complex, where does one go to meet another around my same age? Bars with dancing usually are not for the elderly. Going online may be the best way.
Dating at the elderly age is as weird as imagining the elderly having sex in this youth oriented society. When was the last time you saw it happen in a movie, if ever? It is akin as kids trying to imagine their parents doing it, it just seems odd.
Yet, it is either date or be lonely in the remaining years of your life. Once past the psychological hurdle of doing this again after 30-40 years, what does one do on the first date? Is it the same as when you were 20 in the 60's? 50's?
What really matters in dating at this age? Is it sex? Just enjoying another's company? Both? Well, a survey was conducted of 1000 men and 600 women, all 55 yrs. and older. Now, 55 is not that old, but 65 is. On the first date, the respondents indicated that the usual physical attributes still count- the eyes and smile are important, then for men, they check out the body, while women it seems to be less important. Over 80% of the women expected the man to pay for the first date, the remaining would be willing to pay their share. These women do so to show their independence or do not want the man to think something is owed. Over 50% of the women said that humor was really important, as well as, honesty. Only 8% said that a man's appearance was important. Interesting.
As for having sex, men wanted to have it by the third date, only 20% of men said they expected it on the first date. When compared to women, 50% would not have it until the 5th date and only 2% would allow it on the first date. The most interesting nugget fact from the survey about the "older" women is that 80% are carrying condoms! This indicates that they want to be ready if the right dude shows up. As for the men, many will move on after the 3rd date if the woman does not give it up.
The term used by these older daters is usually, "significant other". The less popular is the traditional "boyfriend\girlfriend" label. Some use, "a really close friend".