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Dating a Married Man: How to Keep the Relationship From Failing
A friend of mine once told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with, even if they are married." Whether or not I agree with her statement is not the question, it's whether or not it can work. I know there will be many wives reading this article, so allow me to explain that I do not condone extramarital affairs, this is just food for thought.
So you've started dating a married man.
It's a confusing, frustrating yet passion filled situation you've gotten yourself into. I can't help but wonder why women would be okay with being "The Other Woman", but love does some crazy things to our minds and hearts for that matter. Setting my opinions aside, how do you make it work?
You will need lots and lots of patience to carry on a relationship with a married man. Whether he is currently married, living at home, going through divorce or whatever the situation may be, HE IS STILL MARRIED. You may find yourself waiting for him to divorce, but what if that never happens? Are there children involved? That only makes it harder for a man to leave home. Are you prepared for this sometimes long and grueling waiting game? Understand this; if a man is married and hiding you from his wife, you are openly allowing him to be unfaithful his spouse and you at the same time. If you honestly believe that a married man is not sleeping with his wife, even if he has a mistress, you may as well invest in purchasing a bridge. If his wife wants sex, he CANNOT SAY NO. She will become suspicious and make his life hell. In my opinion, I would not be able to tolerate knowing that I am allowing a man that claims he loves me, to sleep with another woman. Call me crazy but I have a very traditional way of thinking.
The Ability to Lie
Just picture this scenario. Your phone rings at 1am, you think it's your man calling. Nope, it's his wife, she's found your phone number, a naughty text or call logs flooded with your number. What do you do? What should you say? Keep in mind, if you spill the beans chances are you will open Pandoras Box on your man and yourself. If you want to keep your sanity your best bet is deny, deny, deny. Or sooner or later a phone number is not all his wife will have, she will be knocking down your door with a weapon of some sort ready to drain every ounce of blood from your (in her mind) "home wrecking" body.
Respect for the Wife
At one point in time, this woman was the most important thing in his life. That will never change, you cannot go back to the past and erase it, it's there and it's not going anywhere. There are only two things you can do. Respect the woman for being such a big part of his life, or become the nagging girlfriend that makes stupid remarks and will eventually drive the man back into the arms of his wife.
Even More Respect for The Kids
The one thing you should NEVER, EVER, EVER do, is come between a man and his children. Just imagine if some woman came along and took your father away. It's a devastating experience for the children, and their lives will never be the same. Do not be the reason for a child's tears.