ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dating a Wimp

Updated on September 30, 2008

As a woman I have always been lead to believe that I should find myself a strong virile man to call my own. That he should watch sports, crush beer-cans on his forehead, and only cry when his football team loses the Super Bowl. This stereotype of a man can be hard to find and if I did find him would I really want to date this alpha male? I have dated a few and they have never been able to provide me with anything deeper than a few months of fun. They have always fallen short in providing me with the deep intellectual and emotional support that I crave.

Maybe what I need is the new sensitive man, a man who will hold my hand and discuss his innermost feelings. The guy who will watch "The Notebook" and ask me to pass you the tissues. But, is this man any better than the alpha male? Do I really want to comfort him every time something remotely unsettling happens, isn't that what my girlfriends are for? What am I to do as a modern twenty-something looking for my Mr.Right?

In my relentless quest I recently dated a wimp. At first I thought he was perfect. He seemed sweet, nice, and ready to fall in love. I kept thinking to myself, "How did I get so lucky?" Two months of blissful weekend dates and the words "I love you" were creeping into my head and holding back in order to be somewhat of a "rules girl" became harder and harder. Then, we planned our first weekend away together. The weekend had all the makings of true romance, a beautiful hotel room overlooking the beach, stormy weather perfect for cuddling, and my sensitive man to enjoy it with.

By the end of the weekend I discovered he was afraid of heights, lightening, stingrays, rip tides, walking, basically any sort of fun. I even had to drive his car to and from the beach. As dishearting as this was, I decided that maybe I was being the rough one. Perhaps, I was expecting too much from him, nobody is perfect. My cat knew better.

The next weekend my cat scratched him on his arm leaving a small scratch less than an inch long. I yelled at my cat and then being the nice girlfriend I apoligized and doted on him the appropriate amount of time. The next day, I went to hold his hand and brushed against his arm, this elicited a yelp and complaints of the extreme pain caused by his grevious injury. On a side note: during the period of 6 months that I dated this wimp he went to the doctor for the following ailments, extreme foot pain, MS, liver disease, testicular cyst, dyhydrated disc, shingles, a scratch on his heel, cold, hepititus, gall stones, extreme headaches, and worst of all a disfunctioning penis. Most of which he did not have, but was always in great fear that he did. At one point he can be quoted as saying,"There's no way giving birth can hurt worse than my feet!"

I know you are thinking, why didn't this girl just dump him? I guess the answer would be I was afraid of being that girl, you know the girl who always leaves the super nice guy and ends up with some loser who doesn't care for her. In the end I realized he wasn't a super nice guy, he was a guy who was in constant need of my attention. He played up his ailments and fears because he didn't have anything else interesting enough to keep my attention. Once the initial infatuation wore off there was no deeper connection to keep us together.

I did learn something from my relationship with the wimp. I learned that I need a man who can mow the lawn, check for creepy noises in the night, and jump into the deep end of the pool without fear of drowning. Crying at "The Notebook" is optional, crying after the Super Bowl could be necessary. My next boyfriend, like my next car, will have to be a hybrid. A man to hold me and protect me from the monsters that lurk in the dark.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Leslie 

      5 years ago

      I've been dating this guy for about five months. And we go the beach one day and this kid(12-13) kept hitting on me. My boyfriend just let him go on and on with rude comments until he finally said something. As if he was scared of the boy. Then the boy said he'll leave if my boyfriend can bet him wrestling. So, they wrestle and the boy kicked his ass easily, despite my boyfriend straining. This boy couldn't be any bigger than 105lbs and 5'2" and bf is 155lbs and 5'11". Afterward the boy spit on my boyfriend and coped a feel of me. My boyfriend shed years, and has complained about it ever since. I don't feel protected anymore if he can't handle a small boy. Is he a wimp?

    • profile image

      Haley 

      6 years ago

      Great article!

      @Alexx: Just get over with it. I was in the exact same situation, and I didn't know how to end it. Eventually I did, and now I feel great. That guy was emotionally draining me. He cried for every little thing. He even cried after hurting me, and I was the one who had to comfort him.

      If you feel that he may become suicidal, slowly disengage yourself. Eventually, let him screw up and leave him for that. All the best!

    • profile image

      Alexx 

      6 years ago

      I absolutly loved the article! I am actually in the same situation now. Ive been with a wimp for almost 5 years now =/ when we first got together ( i was 16 and he was 17) we fell head over heels for each other. We were each others first for many things. However in the past two years ive started to notice how much of a baby he is!! He constantly wines every time i want to go out with friends. (Which has only happened twice, thanks to him) and he acts desperate for my attention. He fakes pains and emotional issues just for my attention. and im so sick of it!!!! The only problem is i cant leave him now because im scared of how he would react, (he threatened to become suicidal if we ever split.) So now im screwed =/ any suggestions?

    • profile image

      Poppa Blues 

      10 years ago

      That's pretty funny! I think what you really need to look for is just someone that shares some of your interests and perhaps more importantly, most of your values. The rest will work itself out! Oh and thanks for stopping by and becoming a fan!

    • Cindere11a profile image

      Cindere11a 

      10 years ago from San Diego

      Loved it! No wimps - plueeze!

    • Nannette profile imageAUTHOR

      Nannette 

      10 years ago

      The sad thing is I still hear from my family, what happened to that nice guy you were dating?

    • JusRobin profile image

      JusRobin 

      10 years ago from Virginia

      Hun this is the funniest thing of all! I have dated that guy to? Do you live in Richmond, Virginia. I have been in a very long term relationship off and on and my long term has,was, and always will be the "Alpha Male" he has to be around sports he has to do manly things (i.e. mow the lawn, fix the car, tell me when and how I should be braking in traffic lol). During our numerous breaks, I set out to find someone who was the exact opposite because I was tired of being a "jock's girl" and I needed someone who wanted to cuddle with me on Sunday's and watch something on lifetime! I wanted someone who loved going to the movies to see a romatic comedy every now and again, and wanted to go to a play without thinking that it literally had something to do with sports! Oh but hun, when I found him, the what I thought was the perfect guy, he turned out to be this guy in your article LOL! He did all the right stuff but it was during March Madness during basketball season, when we were sitting on the couch and I was flipping through the channels and wanted to watch a DUKE (GO BLUE) and UNC game and he wanted to watch something on the discovery network! I knew right then and there that me and alpha male belonged together, because how could i be with a guy that didn't get his heart all the way into MARCH MADNESS! Needless to say the next day he got the old I just need sometime to myself talk! I took the time and me and good old Alpha Male are back together and I'm learning slowly but surely to endure all of the bad with the good, as well as teaching the old dog a few new tricks. So dear, maybe you gotta find the alpha guy and make him into your apha man. Good Luck! Nice Hub!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)