ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dating a shy girl - 10 Things guys should know

Updated on December 27, 2011
Dating a shy girl can be like learning how to open a gift that has been intricately wrapped, without tearing an inch of the wrapping paper
Dating a shy girl can be like learning how to open a gift that has been intricately wrapped, without tearing an inch of the wrapping paper | Source

Dating a shy girl can be one of the most rewarding experiences for a guy, if dealt with the right way. Boys, you will have to work hard to bring her beyond her inhibitions, physical shyness and awkward moments to connect with you on your date. Reading this will not make you a Casanova overnight. But what it will do, is give you crisp advice and tips on how to deal with your shy date. Read on, be your romantic best and impress your lady love!

1) You choose the place

Are you going on your very first date with a shy girl? It is likely that your date may not want to be left with the daunting question of "Where should we go?" It is better that you choose the place because as you can imagine, a shy girl already has many things to worry about in her mind.

2) A compliment should be your first words

Yes we all know that it is considered one of the basic dating etiquette to compliment your woman. This could not be more true in the case of a date with a shy girl. The very minute you pick up or meet your date, you should look into her eye and tell her how beautiful she looks. The reason? Your compliment will give your shy girl a quick confidence boost and make her feel more comfortable with you.

3) She may look away from you

If you have been used to maintaining eye contact with the girl that you are dating, things may be a bit different in your date with a shy girl. Looking into a date's eyes is not exactly a shy girl's domain and you must understand this. Don't be put off if you fail to make proper eye contact. Ease her into falling comfortable and once you finally manage to break the ice, she will gaze into your eyes till no end!

4) Understand that shyness is not arrogance

If you're dating a shy girl, you may be in for what may seem as a rude reception. Shy girls will generally take their own time opening up and that may sometimes be perceived as rude or high headedness. On the contrary, this may not be the case here and your date may only be taking her own time getting to know you.

5) Do the talking for a change

Dating a shy girl can be tricky for a guy who likes the women to do the talking. Are you one of them? If you are, you may want to know beforehand that this may be your time to do the chatting. Shy girls and for that matter, all shy personalities are not too much of talkers unless they share an extremely close bond with the other person. So be prepared to charm your lady love by chatting her up. Keep your conversations subtle and engaging. Don't engage into too much of flirting straight away because that may make her conscious.

6) Don't come on too quick and too hard

It really doesn't matter how great your date is going, one of the first and foremost rules of dating a shy girl is that you should give her space. Lots of it! If you are planning to floor her with all the charm in the world and woo her into locking lips with you on the dinner table, chances are that you are going to be left disappointed. The key to impressing a shy personality is to ease your way into their personal space and domain. Remember this, always.

7) Don't ridicule/mock her

It is generally considered okay and acceptable to make jokes or mock your date in a fun or playful manner. In fact, it may help breaking the ice quicker. Not, with your shy girl. You may want to be extra cautious in this regard because a silly comment of yours that may have been in jest, may end up hurting her feelings or making her over-think it. It is okay if you don't understand this, all you need to do is choose your words extremely carefully if you are going to try to engage in a teasing or mocking conversation with your shy woman. At best, avoid it.

8) Hold her hand

Remember watching the oh-so-romantic scenes in Rom Com movies where the actor holds the actresses' hands and she blushes till no end. Well your date with a shy girl is your chance to be the actor in real life. Shy personalities may not be too comfortable with the 'touch factor' straight away into a date. So once you've been chatting away and feel like warming things up a bit, candidly hold her hand. But gentlemen, make sure that you don't make any sudden movements else you might just scare her!

9) Don't be pushy

One of the key traits of a shy personality is that they may find it hard to say no. You must take note of this fact because if your lady subtly tries to avoid something, don't be pushy. For example, if you say "How about we head out to the bar after this meal?" your shy date may reply "Umm the bar? Not sure" By that, she means "No" Take subtle hints from your shy dates and work along it. You will definitely reap the rewards for your patience.

10) Inside the bedroom with a shy girl

The bedroom - Don't expect to be here on the first date. Don't expect to be here on the second date. You are lucky if you are here on the third. The point is, that shy girls will think many times, and rightly so, before heading into the bedroom with a date. It will take a certain level of confidence and more importantly, trust for her to walk into the bedroom with you. And if you think that a few drinks is all it will take to get your shy date hammered and in the bedroom, only for you to walk away the next morning, you bastard!

Shy personalities are not exactly queens in the bedrooms. Well, at least not until they are comfortable with being naked and stripped of their protective layers in front of you. Shy personalities are complex to decipher especially in the bedroom because they may feel vulnerable or may be physically shy. So instead of penning down confusing and nonsense tips on how to deal with a shy girl in the bedroom, here are a few straight forward pointers that you should keep in mind.

  • Don't expect her to make the first move, at least not the first few times
  • Don't rush into undressing her - Spend more time with your clothes on than you generally would in the bed
  • Undressing her should be a deliberate, patient and sensual act
  • Under no circumstances should you instruct (or ask) her to perform sexual acts on you straight away – it may be out of her comfort zone
  • If she withdraws when you touch her in a particular area, avoid touching there until her comfort levels are sky high
  • The notion "Don't go for the goodies directly" applies more to your time in bed with a shy woman than anyone else
  • Caress, don't grab


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      6 years ago

      nothing was left out but the main issue is not to rush anything...i've dated shy female's and the ine thing that gets them comfortable is ask thwm questions that you know they would want to talk about.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I'm actually a girl who read this out of boredom to see if guys actually know what they are talking about. I'm happy to say this is actually spot on.

    • Dean Cortez profile image

      Dean Cortez 

      8 years ago

      These are useful dating tips..thanks for sharing them :)

    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago


      Yes, shyness, more often than not is misinterpreted as arrogance or a high-headed attitude. But only a shy person will tell you otherwise. I hope that the guys you talk about stumble upon this hub and get some much needed advice on how to take their dates with a shy girl to a whole new romantic level.

      Thanks for stopping by on this one.


    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 

      8 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      Great hub, I just fear that the guys who could benefit most from this kind of information probably don't spend any time looking for information like this.

      I think your point #4 is a key - often silence or shyness can be misinterpreted as being smug or snobby.

    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi Nia

      You're rightly pointed out 'patience' as the key word here. Yes, it sure does pay off.

      I'm really glad you liked this, specially because you could relate to it!


    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi Keith

      Firstly, congratulations on finding the right life partner for yourself. I bet you have cherished each and every moment of the 23 years you have spent together! That is quite an achievement. You both are extremely lucky to have each other.


    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi tsmog

      I too felt that the image was apt for the title. Conveys a lot, doesn't it?


    • NiaG profile image


      8 years ago from Louisville, KY

      Love this. My shy days are gone but those are the exact feelings one goes through when they are shy and it can be difficult to get through the walls of shyness so men have to remember to be patient. It could be well worth it.

    • KeithTax profile image

      Keith Schroeder 

      8 years ago from Wisconsin

      I agree with all you say with concern about #10. Getting to the bedroom by the third date seems a bit fast for me. This assumes non-shy guys jump in bed with guys on a first or second date. Wow! Personally, I want a full, committed relationship before I even consider such a move. Of course, I have 23 of marriage under my belt. My wife and I never regretted waiting until our wedding night. Maybe that is why we are still married.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      8 years ago from Escondido, CA

      A very beautiful image.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)