- Gender and Relationships
Dating For Dummies - Suggestions For Both Sexes
6 out of 30
The title dating for dummies sounds a little harsh. It's not that we are dummies it's just that sometimes we need help. How a person treats you when you begin dating and from there on in depends on how they preceive a relationship should or should'nt be. I know people who witnessed parents or other relatives in non loving relationships, the over board I can't keep my hands offs relationships, I have to be with you all the time type, then comes the I am in control kind and unfortunately some very unhealthy ones as well. We learn various aspects of dating by what we have seen and heard. Obviously, or I hope it is, that the control, abusive and non loving relationships should be avoided.
Today I was thinking about the relationships I've had from the past to the present. Reliving some special moments, those I would like to have changed, others that I felt were special. In doing that I thought of this hub because, both men and women sometimes need a little input on the what to do, how's to's and not to do's while dating. We've all been there and I am sure many of you can relate.
Has anyone had the boyfriend who had to turn his head when a women walked by even if you were in the middle of a conversation? Now guys, come on, we all check out those of the oposite sex, that's normal. However we women do it with a little more class. We don't find the need to turn away from conversation, we follow with our eyes while still keeping your attention. I had a boyfriend who was so bad that I once asked a women to stop so he could finish checking her out and we could get back to our conversation. Oh man he was pissed but for that moment at least I got my point across. He once said " Honey I must be all you need, I never see you checking out other guys", where as I replied honey I checked them out all the time.
How about the one that compares you to every girl he had a relationship with, whether it was for 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 month or 2 yrs he always find something to compare of some story to relate. As nicely as I could, I point blank said, enough already, I don't want to hear anymore unless you want to compare, I have quite a few stories I can relate if that's the game we're playing. He took the hint. Ladies has this ever happened you? Hey guys, have you had the luxery of dating Miss, " I have to tell you every aspect of my past relationships". Or did it dawn on you as it did me that maybe that's why those relationships are in the past.
The new way of communating is e-mail and text. I have no problems with this kind of communitating though, it all depends on what you might be saying. I've heard that both male and female's have used this method to end a relationship. Now, we're all adults here, meet face to face and use your words. In case you've forgotten, it's called verbally using the english language as it was meant to be used. Also, gentlemen if you get a text from your girl that says I love you or she's asking a question please answer her back. A few times my boyfriend has replied yeah well you know I love you or I didn't get to that yet but he never responded. Sometimes I believe his falls in the " I don't know how to have a relationship" catagroy. Then there are the times I've had to talk to him for time or date confirmations regarding events we are attending and I get the prepetual voice mail. Have I told you I hate voice mail? I didnt' Well I guess hate is a strong word but when someone leaves you a voice mail, call them back. Obviously they left the voice mail for a reason. And for crying out loud if your only access to a phone is your cell, shouldn't you keep it with you and leave the ringer on if it's not on your person. If it's on vibrate check it from time to time. I'm on a roll with this one. This is one of my biggest pet peeves in my relationship.
Though, I have to say all that I've written about above relates to the female too. I talked to guys who have dealt with the same issues. It's kind of funny, when my friend vents to me about his relationships it almost sounds like he's talking about mine. Yes, we females and be just as wrong as the guys. Come on, admit it. Neither of us are perfect. We'd like to beleive we are but we're not.
I learned that "little black" book does still exsist yet has changed from paper form to electronic from called a computer and cell phone. I am lucky in that respect because my current boyfriend though I may get frustrated with his lack of dating knowledge he really loves me and I don't have anything to worry about. My experience comes from past relationships. I am one of those who tried on line dating for awhile. Imagine my surprise when I found out I wasn't his type because I didn't weigh enough. Apparently he was into plus size girls. I don't have a problem with that and if that was included in his " what I am looking for" section of his profile I wouldn't have accepted the date. I think he was over excited because I am a hugh Red Sox fan and we could talk for hours about the games we saw, the stats, who our favorite players were. No biggie, we both moved on, after I told him that I couldn't have a "friends with benefits" kind of friend. Then there's Mr. " I can't get over my ex ", move on mister and skip on line dating or any dating for that matter until you're over her. Then I found Mr " Until something better comes along" who made an awesome dinner for me, we went out to dinner, he came over and met my kids, I met his daughter and then the bomb went off. I heard that someone saw him on Match.com so, I created a fake profile, picture of a beautiful lady and lo n behold he hit on " me ", we made plans to meet for coffee the next night. Imagine his surprise when I showed up to have coffee with my best friend. He was more nervous than a man holding a rattle snake. It was rather comical. My friend and I ordered our coffee and walked past the table he was sitting at, I said oh by the way your date isn't coming. His head shot up and I said I'm " Linda " and you and Cathy are through". Then, we walked out the door. Men!
Have any of you had dates or relationships from hell? Have you ever been invited to a party then the guys has some lame excuse about going to see his kids but actually had another date. Yup, I was the one invited to the party. I had actually broken off the relationship before I heard this tid bit of information.
What about all of you out there? Share some of your dating stories. It's nice to know we're not alone.
I published this and forgot the very important do's and don't's ....
Don't talk about past relationship
Don't compare your current significant other to the ex's
Respond to text messages and voice mails
Don't have 2 dates in the same night
Don't go on dating websites while you're dating or in a relationship
Be honest, respectful of each other.
Keep an open line of commutation
Be there for each other
Does anyone have anything to add to this list. I'm sure I've forgotten a few.
Thanks & Happy Dating!!