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How To Treat A Woman On A Date: The Basics

Updated on October 3, 2009

So you've met Jane down at the bookstore and you want to see how she looks when she’s not wearing those wire-rimmed glasses. You read my article on first date ideas and you’re going to take her to a nice Japanese restaurant in a few days. Excellent! Here are some things to remember between now and then.

Do not let more than 1 day go by without contacting her.

These 3-day-wait rules? Games. I’m not in the market for games. You want to play games, drop by the arcade where you can fly solo, cos no woman wants a game player. That said, you don’t have to call and chat her up for an hour every day. A text message would be sufficient – “We’re all booked for Friday” – would be fine. Just let her know you haven’t forgotten about her or your date.

Be on time.

You need to be on time. We are genetically programmed to view you (subconsciously) as the leader and provider, and if you’re late, this is a sign of incompatibility. I can hear the femnazis stomping their feet over that one. Too bad, sisters! Your woman, on the other hand, might well be late – that’s just something you’re going to have to deal with. Yes, I realize it’s a double standard, but don’t get bent. The real reason your date is running late is because she’s taking extra time to get sexy under her clothes, in case the magic happens later. So the next time you get ticked off over a late date, just think of how smooth and silky she probably is beneath that skirt.

Open her car door.

No, you don’t need to unlock her door these days, not since the invention of the fob. But this will get you extra brownie points for sure.

Help her put her coat on.

This is very flattering and I’ve never heard of a woman not finding it so. Just don’t make a big production of it. Be subtle – some women don’t like drawing attention to themselves, and this is such a rare occurrence anymore that some people do stare when they see it.

Open the door for her.

Depending on what country you are in, the rules on this vary. Personally, I like a mix of what I’ve encountered in Europe and the US:

  • When entering an establishment, a man should hold a door open and walk through it at the same time – or just slightly ahead of the woman. That might sound difficult, but it’s not, if you’re standing close. The cultural basis of it (here in Europe) is so the man can lead the way through a crowded environment and let everyone know the woman is not available. This keeps jerks away, and keeps people from leering when she enters.

  • When leaving an establishment – A man should hold the door and let her walk through first, unless, as before, that means entering into a crowd.

  • When entering his home - A man should hold the door and let her enter first.

Pull her chair out for her in the restaurant.

She might not be used to this – some women will not expect it and will beat you to it. If this happens, don’t worry. You should still show good manners, however, and wait for her to sit down before you seat yourself.

Order for her.

Please note – this does not mean tell her what she’s going to have for dinner. Have a conversation about what she wants and then when the waiter comes, order for her. When you’re finished ordering, ask her if that’s everything she wanted. This gives her a chance to correct you if you’ve made a mistake. You don’t want her eating something she doesn’t like just because she’s too polite to interject.

At the end of your date, don't drive off until she’s safely inside.

I’ve only had one man not do this. That was 10 years ago and I still think poorly of him. Normal people wait to see their girlfriend or friend gets home alright. I do this for my female friends, too. Anyone who doesn’t do this is socially inept! Now, this isn’t a proper dating etiquette list, there are other things you should be aware of, but these are the basics. Sound old-fashioned? That’s because you’ve been desensitized, son. The only women who aren’t going to like being treated this way, are women you don’t want to be around anyway. You don’t have to follow this advice, but if you do these things it will set you apart from the rest – it tells your woman she’s dealing with a man and not a boy.


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