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- Relationship Problems & Advice
"That's Definitely A Deal-Breaker”
What exactly is a ‘deal-breaker?' It's a simple concept, individually diverse and very difficult to define. We all have different deal-breakers. We’re living in a world filled with vibrant, unique and vastly different types of people. What turns me on, very well could turn you off. That’s what makes the world so awesome. Forest Gump famously said "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." So true. I believe that life is also like a puzzle, you never know how many pieces you'll need to complete it. Some people have a 4-piece puzzle to complete while others may have a 12, 24, 3,000-piece puzzle to complete. I'm a hopeless romantic and I believe we will all find our missing puzzle piece. I believe that in any healthy relationship there are certain deal-breakers that are set in stone. There’s no exception, no excuse, these things will never contribute to a healthy relationship:
1. Physical abuse
2. Emotional abuse
4. Different Personal Values (NOT morals, VALUES)
5. Being Unavailable
Now, that being said, let’s talk about YOUR deal-breakers. Have you ever been somewhere and all of the sudden a couple walks by that looks completely unmatched? Maybe she’s blonde, tall, tan and he’s thin, rocking some skinny jeans, and has 2” gauges in his ears. “Why on earth is she with him???” I’ll tell you why…because she is not you. She's not attracted to what you’re attracted to and maybe you’re not attracted to what she’s attracted to. That’s what makes us unique; that’s what makes us individual; that’s why, when we can clearly identify our personal deal-breakers, we can form loving, lasting, healthy relationships. If you don’t know what yours are, I suggest you start figuring them out. The best way to do this is through trial and error. I'm still learning, but with each date, each boyfriend, each heartbreak, I find more and more of the equation to MY Mr. Right. I hope you do as well.
1) He’s A Picky Eater-I love all sorts of foods, from all over the world. I love trying new foods and I'll always, always, always try anything at least once. Chances are that if I don't like it the first time, I'll try it again. Cooking is absolutely one of my passions and I want to be able to share that with you. If I can't do that, I'm forced to hold back a large part of myself (mostly the part that screams at you when you ask me what 'al dente' means) If you need the pickles, lettuce and tomato on the side, just go ahead and step to the side….
2) He Drinks Miller Lite-Miller Lite tastes like piss. If we’re on a date at a restaurant, with a full bar, and you PREFER to drink Miller Lite then we are not a match made in Heaven. To each his own but, if you want me to call you mine, you better choose your beer wisely.
3) He Wears Crocs-I know, I know, I know…this is pretty superficial. I don’t care. Crocs are simply not acceptable. They are hideous.
4) He Doesn’t Drink-We’ve all heard people say that you don’t have to drink to have a good time. Well, I disagree. If I’m at dinner, a concert, sporting event or really any place that has a bar, I’m going to have a few drinks. I like to drink and I like to drink with the guy I’m dating. We laugh, we tease each other, we play and we genuinely have fun together. Now I’m not saying that we need to get piss-ass drunk together every night of the week in order to have a good time because, if that’s the case, we don’t need to be in a relationship in the first place. If you don’t want to belly-up to the bar with me every once in a while then I’m not interested in dating you.
5) He Drives a Smart Car-This is my nightmare. No. Never. Never EVER. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to drive one of these pathetic excuses for a car.
6) He's On familywatchdog.com-for those of you that don’t know, familywatchdog.com is a website that lists registered sex offenders in your area. If you’re on this website, we’re not going to be dating. End of story.
7) He's Metrosexual-Listen, you need to know how to dress. I’m into fashion and I need a man who cleans up nicely. However, if you’re dressed better than I am and I have to change the tire because you don’t want to get your hands dirty, it’s going to be our last encounter.
8) He's Rude To The Waitress-Patience is a virtue and maybe you should just stop being a jackass.
9) He Has A Tramp Stamp-I love tattoos. I have 3 myself. Tattoo's are sexy and I'm certainly drawn to a man with some ink on his body. Let's be honest though, if you're dating a guy with a 'Tramp Stamp' he probably also has Lady Gaga in his CD player and Kathy Griffins' "My Life on the D List" on his DVR.
10) He Has Bad Teeth-No thank you.
11) He's Against Gay Marriage-This one should probably be added as #6 on my list of 'set in stone' deal-breakers. Everyone should support Genuine, Healthy, Supportive, Dedicated, Strong, Passionate, Caring, UNCONDITIONAL....Loving relationships. End of story.
12) He's Not A Dog Person-My puppy and I are a package deal, no exceptions.
13) His Mother is a Smother-N.O.