- Gender and Relationships
Dealing with a Jealous Husband: 11 Smart Ways You Can Make Him Happy
Dealing with a Jealous Husband
Theodore, a psychoanalyst, has stated that “jealousy is a sign that something is wrong in the organism of love.” If you are a wife who is dealing with a jealous husband, do not think you are the only wife going through such an ordeal.
Some wives are often heard complaining that, “My husband is very insecure and jealous.” Other wives also complain that, “My husband is very jealous and controlling. What should I do to make him trust me and give me some space?” Others also say, “My ex husband behaves as if he is still married to me. He does not want to see me going out with other men!”
Whether you are dealing with a jealous ex husband or with your current husband who is jealous, this article will give a wife who is dealing with a jealous husband some tips so that she can manage the situation and keep her marriage.
So, what are some of the things you can do to handle your husband if he is jealous of you?
Find Out Why Your Husband is Feeling Jealous
Your husband may feel jealous of you because he misunderstands some of your actions. For example, he may have discovered that you have become very intimate with one of your male colleagues whom you may be encouraging because he is going through trying times. Or, maybe, you talk too much about this handsome, exciting guy who has just been employed at your workplace.
Therefore, find out from your husband why he feels jealous. Get an understanding of why he feels the way he does. Let him express all his fears and worries. Listen to him patiently. Then, allay his fears and give him the true picture. Explain the true situation to him.
After having this discussion with your husband, try to make adjustments to your lifestyle so that your husband will see that you are serious about his concerns. If you have to break up some relationships, do that. Let your husband know he comes first in your life.
Try to Build Your Husband's Confidence
One of the root causes of jealous is a lack of self-confidence. Therefore, do your best to make your husband feel he is worthy to be loved and adored, if you are dealing with an extremely jealous husband. Help him to feel confident about himself.
Here a few things you can do to help boost your husband’s self-confidence.
- Remind him God created him in His image, and that God loves him and thinks he is precious.
- Remind him every day that he is so precious that Jesus sacrificed His life for him so that he could go to Heaven.
- Say confidence-building words such as, “You are more precious to me than all the gold in the world. You are worth more than 100 trillion dollars to me,” to him often.
- When he wears something you like, say, “You look gorgeous and sexy in those clothes!”
- Tell him you love his voice and the way he speaks.
- Assure him of your love for him every day. Do kind acts for him and let him see you want him always.
Continue to Build Trust with Your Husband
One of the smart ways of dealing with a jealous and insecure husband is to act in ways that will make your husband trust you, if he does not trust you, or to build the trust he has for you and make him trust you even more, if he trusts you already. This will help him to know that he has nothing to fear. When your husband sees that your actions cannot cause him any loss, he will feel relaxed and he will not be jealous of you.
What are some of the ways you can build trust with him?
- Be a wife who keeps her word. Do your best to be a dependable woman your husband can always look to for emotional and psychological support.
- Tell him the truth at all times, even when you know it will hurt you or ruffle his emotions. This will make him see that you are a truthful person and he will have difficulties doubting your behavior and reading negative meanings in to your actions.
- Prioritize your husband’s needs. Put his interests above yours and let him feel you still care about him.
- Accept your faults and apologize for them. Then, subsequently, try not to repeat those same mistakes again.
- Don’t be a pretender. Always try to be yourself. Let your husband see that you are a genuine person with genuine intentions.
Draw His Attention to Reality
Remind your husband of the things you do every day that show you love him. Give him evidence-based reminders of your love for him so that he will know his fears and anxieties are unfounded and just a figment of his imagination.
For example, if he says, “You don’t love me enough,” you can say something such as, ”Isaac, you are not dealing with the reality. Have you forgotten about all the times I tell you I love you? What about the gifts I give to you regularly? Are those not signs to tell you that I love you? If I do not love you I would not be doing those things, would I? Moreover, I would still not be in this relationship, would I? Because nothing stops me from leaving you if I really want to stop marrying you. So, please stop having all those fantasies. Deal with the reality , which is that every day, in small ways, I show that I love you.”
This will make your husband ruminate and he will come to the realization that you are right and he may just be overreacting. After he reflects, he will change his attitude towards you.
Be an Open Book
Your husband may have cause to suspect you of cheating if you keep information about your association with other men, especially with men you are very close to, from him. Therefore, make sure you tell him about your relationship with other men. Tell him about where you go with these men, what you do with them, and give names of witnesses so that he can verify that information if he wants to.
Furthermore, inform him about some of the things you discuss with members of the opposite sex. Tell your husband about some of the silly things your male friends say to you when you meet them, or how you act when you are with them.
Volunteering information to your husband about how you deal with your male colleagues will show him that you trust and respect him enough to want to involve him in your private dealings. It will also make him feel that you want to be honest about how to relate to other men. This will make him feel he is important to you, it will help to inflate his ego and let him feel he appreciated, and that may make him have a good self-esteem.
Spend Time with Your Husband
One thing that can cause your husband to become jealous is the fact that you may not be spending enough time with him. He may feel you do not enjoy his company or that you value other people more than him.
So, dealing with a jealous husband who feels neglected and emotionally abandoned requires that you make adjustments to your schedules so that you can give him attention. Sacrifice some commitments so that you can spend quality time with your husband and give him emotional satisfaction.
When you are with him, show you are excited to be spending time with him. Laugh, smile, touch him often, do whatever will show that you are enjoying your time with him. Not only should you let him know you are happy to be with him in actions but also verbalize it. You can say something such as, “I would give away all the money I have just to spend more time with you because of some of these witty comments,” when he says something funny.
Appreciate Your Husband Often
Do your best to make your husband feel good about himself. This will make him feel more secure about your love for him, it will boost his ego, and he will respond by doing his best to manage his feelings of jealousy.
Thus, when you wake up in the morning, say something such as, “Darling, you are a great husband. I feel I am the luckiest woman in the world to have you as a husband!” In addition, extol his virtues and tell of his kind acts, when you are both in the presence of other people. Tell them about how responsible your husband is or tell them about some of the gifts he gives you. Let him feel great before others.
Let your spouse feel that he is still special to you. Let him know you still value him above everyone else by showing signs of affection frequently.
- Kiss your husband when you wake up in the morning.
- Give him a hug when you come home from work.
- Hold his hands when you are watching television together, look into his eyes and say, “You are a great man!”
- Send him a romantic text message such as, “My day will only be complete when I see your handsome face again at home this evening. I can’t wait to complete my day,” during your lunch break.
Let your husband know that you cherish him and that will make him know he has no one to be jealous of.
Not only can a husband be jealous of his wife’s association with her male friends and colleague, but a husband can also be jealous of the wife’s success, especially when the wife is better educated than him, comes from a well-to-do home, has a better job than he has, is achieving success in her chosen profession, and does not respect her husband because of these things.
One way of dealing with a jealous controlling husband who is not happy about your success is to act in a humble manner. Let him see that inspite of your achievements, you still see him as the head of the family who needs to be respected and venerated.
Instead of lauding your good background and successes over him, treat your husband with respect. Moreover, let him benefit from your accomplishments. You can do this by paying some of the bills in the house, buying gifts for him regularly, and also taking him out on romantic dates from time to time.
Such an attitude will help him to feel worthy of himself, he will feel great about the relationship, and it will help him to keep his jealous feelings in check.
Remind Him of the Negative Side of Jealous Often
Draw his attention to the Bible story in 1 Samuel 18 where jealousy blinded Saul so much that he attempted to kill David, even though David’s killing of Goliath would benefit the whole nation including Saul himself!
Remind your husband that his jealous attitude could also lead to a “death” of your relationship, or a thawing of your love for him if he does not control himself, especially if he has embarrassed you before because of his jealous nature.
Pray for Him
Ask God to help your husband see that He(God) created your husband in His image and that He loves your husband just as he is. You may offer up a prayer such as, “Dear God, Isaac is jealous because of my nature of being friendly with men. You know my heart, Father. You know I have no ulterior motives. However, Isaac does not see things that way. Please speak to Him and let him see that I mean no evil when I am friendly with other men. Furthermore, help him to see that it is in the interest of the family for me to achieve success at work so that I can earn more and help with the upkeep of the home. The king’s heart is in your hand and you turn it wherever you want to. Please turn Isaac’s heart so that he will stop feeling jealous and believe that I still love him. Amen.”
Some of the smart ways of dealing with a jealous husband are to help him to boost his self- esteem, building trust and respect in the relationship, giving your husband attention as well as watching your attitude and seeking spiritual help. Doing these things will help your husband to know that you still love him and it will help him to reduce his tendency to get jealous.
Dealing with a Jealous Husband
Would you say your spouse is jealous?
© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio