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The Wait...

Updated on November 1, 2016

By Homielife

I first met Jay at a Christian Fellowship. He looked so good while playing the bass in front of the crowd during Thanksgiving feast in 2005. I knew nothing about him at that time - not even his name. I knew nothing about Christian Fellowship either, so all I ever did was observe the gatherings until my eyes was locked at his direction.

I am not sure if he was looking at me, but I felt like he did. From that moment, I laid my eyes on him, until the fellowship was over, all I ever did was secretly looked at him. I thought I am not going to see him again anyway, so I took my time.

The next morning, I was greatly surprised to see him at the College of Engineering. He had an 8:30 - 10:00 class at the same room where I would have my 10:00 -11:30 class.

Life is full of surprises they say. Destiny was never contented making Jay my colleague, as I later found out that he was living in our neighborhood. It meant that I can watch him pass by whenever I got a chance.

It had been an exciting experience for me. However, liking someone but never having the chance to get close is a far greater struggle. I felt like my heart stopped whenever I met him at the street. I can't help but stole a glance through the pile of books when he came to the library. I can't resist myself from staring at him during fellowship. I can't help but secretly smile as I wait for his class to finish. He had always made my day.

My feeling grew as the days flew. I was so overwhelmed that I shared that secret to my housemates. That was a wrong move because the information eventually got to him.

After that I became paranoid. I suddenly felt like he was making moves to take advantage of my feelings, so I tried harder to ignore him. Sometimes, I just acted like he was just ‘someone that I used to know.’

I’ve tried ignoring him until his graduation. Deep inside, I wished that he'd stay but I knew his family is waiting for him. I need to let him go. I remembered praying, "Lord, if he is really for me, please allow him to come back."

Guess what? He did come back after a year, but he didn't stay. At that time, I didn't even know he was at the campus. I just saw him looking at me - and our eyes met. Time froze; I was suddenly paralyzed and speechless. I was greatly surprised that I want to burst out in tears.

Then I remembered my prayer. It was a moment of answered prayer. I suddenly felt sure that he was mine. From that day on, I had decided to wait for 'our' right time.

On Valentine's Day 2009, we have an activity at the apartment. We were asked to write a letter of promise to our 'God's will.' I wrote a letter and wore a cheap ring with him in mind. I eventually lost the letter, but I kept the ring throughout these years.

Few years later, he came to Manila to work. After graduation, I also came home to Manila to stay. One of our common friends invited both of us. For the first time after a long time, I was finally able to talk to him as a friend. It felt great seeing him again, chatting him through Facebook and texting him occasionally.

I thought that time was right for us, but I was wrong. Jay got sick and he needed to go home. I missed another chance on him, but I managed to hold on – because I am sure that he is for me.

Right now, I am 33 years old. Many of my friends were wondering why I am still single. Many thought I was just too choosy, some thought I am a lesbian, most of them thought I am a man-hater, but they were wrong. They just didn’t understand that I am just waiting for the right man – for my man to come back with his right love at the right time.

I know that there are other people who don’t understand me, but would you be willing to wait for the person that was destined for you?

Would you like to put a comment or share an experience? Please feel free to write it down at the fill out field provided below.

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    • homielife profile image

      homielife 18 months ago from Philippines

      There is actually nothing wrong if you befriend your colleague. Just make sure that you listen to your heart carefully. If you think that the new guy is really worth the risk, then go for it.

      Please note, however, that sometimes, new guys can be sweet at first, but they would eventually change when they got what they wanted.

    • profile image

      Chenza 18 months ago

      OK. I'm just stuck now because there is a guy I met at school a few months ago and I can tell he wants to go out with me. I don't know what to do, he is a really sweet guy and we have similar values of what we want the future to look like but part of me says I should take a chance while another part of me says I should just keep waiting for the guy in the red truck who was a crossing guard. I'm not sure which choice to go with

    • homielife profile image

      homielife 18 months ago from Philippines

      Thanks for sharing your story, Chenza. I greatly appreciate it.

      The best thing for us to do in a situation like this is to wait. There are really times when other guys would make us special, but don't be deceived. They can just lead you to a heartbreak.

      If you are sure that the 'guy in the red pickup' is the one, then try to befriend him when you get another chance.

      You can just say, "You looked familiar, I think I met you somewhere." I think that's the best way to start your conversation.

    • profile image

      Chenza 18 months ago

      I had a similar experience. 3 years ago I took a walk and saw a guy in a red pickup truck drive by. He saw me and sat up and looked again like he couldn't believe it was me. I never met him before that day but when we looked at each other, like u mentioned, everything else just fell away and it was just us staring at each other. I prayed and had multiple dreams of us together most in a church. I woke up one morning w a date in my mind randomly. My friend took me to college and this day we took a back road and I saw him again directing traffic in elementary school . my major in school is for elementary school grades. Everything reminds me of this guy, red trucks I see or the reflective vests I saw him where, I see them and think of him. I don't know his name and we never talked but I really feel this guy is the one for me. What should I do?