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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Websters dictionary definition: a female friend: a regular or frequent female companion.
Todays definition: a female friend with benefits, ie: sex, housekeeper, financial benefits, on call at males convience. Has a one on one relationship with the male counterpart.
In the past decades the definition of "girlfriend" has changed. In the old days the word meant something. it had an aura of respect. Courtship, engagement and then marriage. Today it has a totally different meaning. Today as more couples choose to live together before marriage, the title of girlfriend has many new obligations.
Today's live -in-girlfriend assumes the role of a wife without the legal protection of being a wife. Some states such as Texas recognize common law marriage, but this is not absolute protection. Children born of these unions are subject to Paternity tests to determine parentage if the union collapses. The common law wife (girlfriend) is not always entitled to the benefits of a legally recognized wife. I think the most annoying phrase I have ever heard from persons in this type of relationship is "Your not my wife so get off my a_ _." or "Well she's not really my wife, we just live together."
I don't understand why a woman would subject herself to this treatment, I don't understand why I did. I'm still trying to figure it out, "I'm not your wife but I'm the one who cooks, cleans, does your laundry, and stays home with the kids while you are out partying with your buddies." I guess I must have missed something somewhere in the course "Relationships 101". Another annoying statement "Shes' my girlfriend, my partner, or even worse my friend or roomate."
When I was a little girl my grandma would facinate me with stories of the courtship of herself and my grandfather. The dates (and I don't mean going to his place for a quickie), the romance, flowers, long walks and such. But I guess the part I loved most was grandpa asking her father for her hand and getting down on one knee to propose to her. It was so Scarlett O'hara. The waiting for your wedding night before diving under the sheets together. Oh the fantasies my ten year mind could spin in those days. I was and still remain a hopeless romantic. What happened to those days, those men, and the romance?
Grandma also gave me another piece of advice I would like to pass onto some of the young ladies, and women of today "Why buy the cow....When you can get the milk for free?"
In todays era if a man takes you to dinner or buys you a drink its almost like he expects SEX in return. If you are his girlfriend, you are expected to be in a relationship with him exclusively. On the other hand he sees it as "well it's not like we're married". There is still the double standard for men and women, you are in a relationship "you are his girlfriend" but he can still go out with the boys, an ocassional female, because you are just his "Girlfriend." Someone please help me define girlfriend.
If you move in together, you are still the "girlfriend" but somehow with the duties of a wife. Sure you may do things for him because you love him, but the day you are too busy to cater to his whims and desires, he becomes insulted. "You don't act like a wife", HELLO!!! I'm not your wife, I'm your "Girlfriend". And remember if you move into his place and it doesn't workout...he will more likely than not want you to be the one to go, even if you have been splitting expenses.
Ladies, I'm not saying all guys are this way..there are good ones out there, its just becoming a little harder to find them. Please don't put yourself into this situation, unless you are 99% sure it will work out and you won't just turn out to be just another roll in the sheets. Take time to know each other and light a flame that will keep burning. Remember the "Cow".
Also one from my parents "If I'm good enough to sleep with or live with, I'm good enough to marry".
Just make sure that you don't become a lifetime "Girlfriend". Unless of course thats what you want .