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What Makes a Strong Samson so Weak in Relationships?

Updated on December 12, 2017
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor writes on moral integrity especially for women and promotes the significance of the men in their lives

What is it about strong, smart guys who seem to lose their strength in relationships with women? Some seem to understand their destiny from birth, and appear to be striding toward success; yet they lose their confidence and their moral integrity when they fall in love.

Samson was gifted with supernatural strength, and he had two great advantages:

  • a divine calling on his life
  • two religious parents who offered him guidance.

Plus, his experience from a previous marriage should have give him strength to manage his relationships; instead, but he was pure weakness.

There’s a Samson in every man. Not because every man is destined to lose his power, God forbid; but because every man (or woman) is vulnerable without a strong spiritual connection with the Source of Strength.

Excerpt from The Story of Samson and Delilah

Samson and Delilah (oil on canvas) by Guercino - 1654
Samson and Delilah (oil on canvas) by Guercino - 1654 | Source

Delilah (pouting): How can you tell me, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t share your secrets with me? You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!”

(She tormented him with her nagging day after day until he was sick to death of it.)

Samson: My hair has never been cut, for I was dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as anyone else.

(Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. . . His strength left him.)

-- Judges 16:15-17; 19 NLT

Why Take Chances?

Delilah had deceived Samson three times already, and her motive was no secret.

  • First time, he told her to tie him up with seven bowstrings;
  • second time, to tie him up with brand new ropes;
  • third time, to weave seven braids of his long hair into the fabric on the loom and tighten it with the loom shuttle.

Each time, Delilah called the Philistines to capture him while he was bound. What makes a man take so many chances?

She was motivated by money; he was stupefied by his desire for personal pleasure.

From Barna Research

In May 2008, the Barna Research Group interviewed 1003 adults over 18 about which of the following eight behaviors they had engaged in over the past week. The men outdid the women in all areas except gossiping (and the women won gossiping only by an insignificant statistical difference).

(1) pornography; (2) using profanity in public (3) gambling (4) gossiping (5) engaging in premarital or extramarital sex (6) retaliating against someone (7) getting drunk (8) lying

Is Love Really Blind?

Samson loved Delilah, or perhaps was infatuated by her charms. He obviously felt compassion for her. Gesenius’ Lexicon translates her name as “feeble,” “pining with desire,” “weak, delicate.”

Delilah never confessed love for Samson. Was he too blind to see that, or did he think that after a few displays of his strength, she would come around? But wait a minute! His first wife had also betrayed him. Samson had given a riddle to the men at his bachelor party; she asked him for the answer and gave it to them.

What made him think that Delilah another Philistine woman, had any different motive for playing the same game?

When love is focused on physical attraction, then it really is blind to the true character of the other person. It does not even notice inappropriate responses to the lover's expressions.

How Reliable is Face Value?

”One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “I want to marry her. Get her for me.” (14: 1,2). Obviously, he relied on face value. His parents objected because the woman was from a different culture and a different faith, but Samson insisted that the woman he saw was the woman he wanted.

Men weaken their own moral and spiritual strength when they allow what they see to influence them more than what they know. Pretty girls are in abundance, and their beauty is no indication of their character. Traits like deception and greed show up in conduct, not in countenance.

Who Can Resist Those Tears?

No author information available.
No author information available. | Source

Some women believe that tears are the direct path to a some men's sympathy. Samson fell for it twice.

“So Samson’s first wife came to him in tears and said, “You don’t love me; you hate me! . . . So she cried whenever she was with him and kept it up for the rest of the celebration. . At last, on the seventh day he told her the answer [to the riddle]. (Judges 14: 16, 17)

Then came Delilah, another wife, also tormenting and nagging him every day. What a pitiful sight she must have been, pouting and crying!

However, a 2011 report on a study of women’s tears showed that the smell of their tears did not arouse empathy in men. The sight of a crying woman is no excuse for a man to take a woman in his arms, or lay his head in her lap, especially when she shows obvious signs of deception. He is fooled because he allows himself to be.

Is It an Ego Problem?

Samson had killed a lion with his bare hands, and a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass. Delilah and the Philistine men were no match for his physical strength, so did his superhuman strength meddle his ego? Did he forget that his strength was tied to his obedience to the Nazirite vow?

That vow was to ensure that he maintained spiritual, mental and physical strength, but he had breached it repeatedly by:

  • marrying a Philistine woman,
  • drinking wine,
  • touching the carcass of a dead animal,
  • sleeping with a prostitute.

Now, he was allowing his head to be shaved, another practice which the vow disallowed. His strength was for a divine purpose, not for personal pleasure.

If a man rates his ability to escape temptation based on the number of risks he has taken and survived, he might be tempted to take one more chance. Then, when he gets comfortable enough to lay his head in the lap of a woman who has not confessed love or loyalty, he is likely to lose everything it stands for: his self-worth, his judgment, his moral stamina, his spiritual insight, and even the physical strength to move it.

Samson's Story in a Nutshell

Fortunately, Samson fulfilled the purpose for which he was born, and is listed in the Faith Hall of Fame (Hebrews 11); but nobody mentions him in association with a life of joy.

Young men with strength of character are candidates for true love and happiness. Just be careful where you lay your head!

© 2012 Dora Weithers


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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Kasman, your comments always encourage me. Thank you!

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      There is a reason I believe the Lord says the one temptation to actually flee from that I know of is lust. Blind love can sometimes even be shown to be lust. I've done this before in my past life before Jesus personally. I think you hit on some good points here MsDora. Thanks a lot for writing it and I'm voting up and sharing!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Ben, thank God that you recognize your mistake. God forgives, heals and restores fully. Accepting His forgiveness is the same as forgiving yourself. Hold His hand and get on with your purpose!

    • profile image

      ben 5 years ago

      I have read your article and its very sound.I am a victim of the same mistakes Samson made and I went down.I am trying to see that I recover and get on as life must go on

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Segun for your comment and your input. I appreciate you, and that's the truth.

    • Segun Tewogbola profile image

      Segun Tewogbola 5 years ago

      This is a blank truth. Truth is better, but it has a sweet reward. Good work.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for your affirmation, Brina. Your comment tells me that you understand this aspect of life really well. Praying that neither you nor I make that mistake. Thanks for the votes.

    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Great Hub, and I agree; we do have to be careful where we lay our head. Because there's people that only wants to know where our strength is, and getting to comfortable with them before really getting to know them is a big mistake. Voted up and interesting.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      There you go, Chris. If Samson's strength were in his hair, it would be more difficult to make the personal application; but we can all relate to the advantage/disadvantage of obeying/disobeying God when He gives specific instructions.

    • profile image

      Chris Hugh 5 years ago

      I never understood that story before. It wasn't his uncut hair that made him strong, it was his obedience to God.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Michele. I neglected to add the source (Judges 13-16) so readers can get the rest of the story in detail. You're absolutely correct. Samson's mistake, like some of ours, leaves a permanent loss.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Very good hub MsDora Sampson did grow his hair back and regained his strength, but that was all that happened. Because they blinded him. So, he was not able to get his sight back. Well, some mistakes can never be fixed. Voted up

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Ann, you and me both when it comes to loving and applying the OT stories. Thanks for your input.

    • anndavis25 profile image

      anndavis25 5 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

      Thou shalt have no other gods (with a little g) before me. There is no power or strength in idols, whether it be money, women, or material things.

      Love the old bible stories and their application in today's world.

      Up, useful, interesting.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Manatita, I have the same question, but I've done my part-the writing. Thanks for your very kind comments.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 5 years ago from london

      Excellent hub. Some reading and research obvious here. Will men listen? Still, You have done the hub. A wonderful piece of writing.