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Desperate Dating

Updated on July 31, 2016
He said he would delete her!
He said he would delete her! | Source

Why do women (mainly) distance themselves from their friends & social gatherings when they begin dating a man? This also applies to both genders; however the majority of this behavioral issue is of women. Really, everyone knows of or has a friend who loses interest in their lifelong friendships once they start dating a man/woman. This is something I personally have seen many times. When you’re dating someone new or rekindling an old romance, why do women/men ignore & distance themselves from everything & everyone else?

This is truly a sign of insecurity & desperation to keep a man/woman; they seem to be denying themselves of the life they had before the person. It isn’t so much of changing your lifestyle; let’s say that you are a good, hard working, single/divorced mother/father living a decent life. To what point do you go to keep a new love in it? Do you listen to them when they tell you your friends cause drama? Your partner asks you to have less contact with them. Do you avoid hanging out with your friends at social gatherings? Do you only go to their outings & family events? Is everything all about them?

Well, ladies & men a bit of advice here. In this world of today it is hard enough to gain respect as an independent woman already, when you subject yourself to this kind of CONTROL you are displaying that you have no respect for yourself or your choices when you allow this behavior to occur. For men being treated as such by women only shows you love being controlled also & shows who wears the pants in the relationship.

It is great to love & be loved. Is it worth losing everything about you to keep it? Everything in life should be fair; unfortunately most of the time it’s not. Love is a gift & should not be taken for granted or taken advantage of. Keep this in mind every time your partner asks you to keep your distance from your friends, or tells you what not to wear and questions your every move without their consent.

You may feel that it’s “flattering” when they want you all to themselves. Do yourself a favor and question their motives. When they begin to say “he/she can’t stand for any other men/women to look at you, or your friends gossip too much and cause problems between us”; this is insecurity on their behalf & can become overbearing when you allow yourself to be controlled. If you fall into this pattern then the issues at hand would be why YOU are letting this happen.

Ladies & Gentlemen you don’t need to live in seclusion with him/her in order to keep a relationship. Open your eyes & see what everyone does from the outside. Sometimes when women/men behave “desperate” and fall into this pattern. You abandon everything & everyone you know in life; only to be left alone at the end when they leave you.

Well people, keep this quote in mind always. “People think the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value the most.

The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.”


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    • Herlinda Rocha profile imageAUTHOR

      Herlinda Rocha 

      2 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Very true!

    • profile image

      Everett Smith 

      2 years ago

      To answer ur first question, i feel like the reason women distance themselves from everything and everyone is at first in the relationship, everything is new and females try so hard to find love. I believe they wanna be in love so bad they just do whatever their boyfriend tells them. This is why the female usually cuts off all her friends. Another reason i have is in most relationships if they guy tells the female to stop hanging out with certain people, nine times out of ten she will listen.

    • Herlinda Rocha profile imageAUTHOR

      Herlinda Rocha 

      2 years ago from Chicago, Illinois


    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago

      I've noticed for the most part you hear about women "losing themselves" in relationships. I've yet to read an article where a man has stated he lost himself. The reality is even if that was the case in most instances it's the choice of those individuals to distances themselves.

      In fact I would say it's almost to be expected during the "infatuation phase" of a new relationships. New couples are swept away with going out on dates, planning weekend getaways, spending the night at each other's place, talking on the phone for hours at a time and so forth.

      Most friends and family understand this because they too have done the same things. Rarely if ever does someone (new) tell their mate:

      "I don't want you hanging out with your friends or family."

      Sometimes people distance themselves from their friends and family (because it's their way of keeping their mate from being around his/her family and friends). In other words if she is not spending time with hers then he shouldn't feel the need to spend time with his. It's a sort of reverse control situation. She doesn't want him having "boys night out".

      Lastly there are instances where some friends/family are truly toxic when it comes to your relationships. Not everyone is going cheer when you find happiness with someone else. They don't want to share you with your new love and in fact don't want to hear you go on about him or her.

      "Misery loves company."

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      If something doesn't (feel right) to you it's probably not right for you.


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