- Gender and Relationships
Disabled Relationship: Building and Maintaining a Relationship
As a human being, you just can’t escape from getting a relationship including the disabled group of people. People who are mentally disabled and causing permanent behavioral disabilities are likely not going to have one because their ability to learn about life is impossible to develop. If you are mentally healthy and only experiencing physical disabilities, building and maintaining a relationship will be on you daily list.
You can form relationships by creating unique bonds and attractions to your family, kids, and spouse. A mother who has a mentally or physically disabled child will choose to provide him with living skill training by sign him up to special care school and classes. Love and care between the family members are undeniable to take care of the disabled one. In another case, how a person with physical disabilities can survive their relationships or marriage?
Relationship Is For Everyone
Imagine if your spouse has an accident that causing brain injury or permanent physical disabilities? And the doctor are telling you that he/she will experience relapse memory loss or he/she losing one of her/him leg or arms? Are you going to stay or you will say it’s time to quit? This is the big question when suddenly your spouse or partner is not as normal as he/she used to be and it depends on you or the both of you to continue the relationship or just parted ways.
Hal Hoine Ph.D. is a psychologist who responded about relationships between couples with disabilities said that relationships are a balance situation and outcome of what you like and you don’t like about your marriages or life partner. The disabled group especially is having unique challenges of their own when they are in a relationship. What kind of challenges they are having? Mostly it is just the same thing like other relationship having but the source of the challenge is because of being disabled, that is the twist. So the disabled couples need to adjust their life to fit the normal life as best as they can in order to maintain their happiness and never let their disabilities affecting it.
No matter if you are disabled or not, a relationship is not an easy thing to maintain. Breakup and divorce can happen to anyone as long as they thought splitting up is more beneficial than staying together. Here are some reasons of why relationships fall apart:
- Different needs or interests causing them to parted ways because they have no common interests to let them stay together.
- They have lost their empathy and ability to look for a solution every time they have an argument or stressing moment
- The partner is changed or not reliable anymore. Splitting up is always happen when there is a lack of trust or one of them is feeling insecure.
- The person wants to leave because he/she has a feeling of been taking for granted.
Surviving the Relationship
If you started the relationship with your disabled partner at the first place, you are building up a relationship by accepting the fact that your partner is disabled but you can deal with it. So every day, both of you are learning a new lesson to develop a healthy relationship that works for both of you to live together. For example, you are renovating the house so the equipment and the environment are healthy for your disabled condition.
But what if your relationship has changed because of your partner was suddenly injured that caused permanent disabilities? Your partner is having difficulties to adjust him/herself into his new body and you have to decide to stay in this relationship or just splitting up for good. In this case, the roles between you have reversed overnight and both of you have to make the best decision for each other future. It is not easy to adapt with a new life especially when you are no longer a normal person that you’re used to be. The same feeling goes to your partner as well and at this point, it is all up to both of you to make it or break it.
Disabled or not, relationship can be survived when both of you are committed to each other. This is the bond that you must have because if you don’t want to put a full commitment in your relationship, it will not going to last because you had chosen not to.
Here are the tips for surviving or maintaining a relationship:
Communication: Running from a problem will never settle the problem. The best way to solve a problem is by having a good communication and helping each other to find the best solution for every challenge. Try to be in their shoes and make a solution from there.
Respect: Respect your partner and never underestimate what your partner is capable of. Be supportive and continue with a good communication.
Avoid competition: It is a good thing if you want to prove to your partner that you are still reliable, still capable and you can provide your partner or family needs. As a couple, you need to avoid the competition for being who is the best provider or the best parent to your kids. Both of you should work together to build a better life.
Be mature: You have to take responsibility if you want to be in a relationship. You have to understand between “I love you because I need you” and “I need you because I love you”. If you are taking advantage of the relationship or you have no plan to offer the same happiness to your partner, you shouldn’t have the relationship at the first place because you don’t deserve it.
Financial Resources: You should live adequately not excessively. Something excessive will never make you feel satisfy or enough. If your financial resource is making you able to live conveniently, there is no reason for you to get an extra job or do a double work. For the disabled one, having a good financial resource will help you to get a good medical insurance. This is when you have to work smart, start saving for rainy days and only spend on what you need for life. Financial Resource is all about how much you save, not how much you make.
The conclusion is, being disabled sure rising issues in the relationships. But, when there is a will, there is always a way. That’s how committed you are to save your relationship or just walk away.