- Gender and Relationships
Discovering Your Sensuality
Sensuality, the state of being sensual, sensuous or sexy (allword.com). So what is the secret of sensuality? Why don’t most women feel sensual and sexy?
I discovered my sensuality a year ago. It was not easy, in fact my self discovery was very painful. I had a very low self-esteem problem, which I had to acknowledge, understand then take control of it. How did I discover my sensuality?
One year ago, I arrived at a crossroad in my life where I needed to make some decisions. I was in a 19 year “relationship” that was no longer a relationship. My spirit was worn out from certain discoveries of things that happened over the years. Also, I realized that I was taking care of everyone else but me. I was at a point where my wellbeing was affected. I felt broken, unattractive, old and fat. I believed that no man would ever love me or want to be with me. I was convinced I would never, EVER put myself in a similar position again. What did I do? NOTHING! I did not know what to do! I just continued going on day by day, same old, same old.
One day, my peer counselor asked me if I loved myself. I could not answer! The question haunted me for weeks and I came to the realization that I did not! It took a failed relationship and the realization that I did not love myself, for me to learn self acceptance and self love. It was only then that I was able to summon my feminine energy and discover the secrets of sensuality. I had to learn to love myself and be confident - I had to learn to be sensual.
After wallowing in self pity for a few months, I finally told myself that something HAD to change. I had to stop blaming myself, and just LET GO. Let go of the hurt and resentment (this is hard!). Let go of the walls that I had erected around me. Let go of my inability to allow myself to love and be loved. I had to learn to love myself. Self love is important. What is self love? It is the strong sense of respect for and confidence in yourself. Simply put, it is loving yourself. When you love yourself, it shows and people want to be around you, as you attract them like bees to honey.
Firstly, I had to build my self confidence by doing a lot of reading on the topic. I practiced telling myself positive things while looking in the mirror, such as “I love you”, “you are beautiful” “ you are sexy” etc. I changed my hair style, did my nails, changed my diet , changed my wardrobe and worked on my posture . Guess what? People started noticing me! Everyone wanted to know what was happening to me. For the first time in my life I felt sensual and I did not need a man to make me feel that way
Can you identify with me? Have you ever been faced with similar challenges and you wish that you could just wave a magic wand and “whoosh” they all disappear? It is easier to face life challenges when you love yourself, because it is easier to see things clearly. So to become sensual here is what you need to do:
- Love thyself first – not your children, spouse or friends, but YOU. Discover you and fall in love with yourself. If you do not like something about yourself try to work at improving or changing it.
- Change your diet. Eat healthy food and exercise regularly. Drink a lot of water and get enough rest.
- Change your wardrobe. Get sensual, age-appropriate clothes and shoes.
- Get your hair and nails done. You may choose to remain natural – that is okay, but make sure that you look and feel attractive.
- Have fun. Go out with your friends or your special person.
- Stop and smell the roses. Notice nature and the beauty around you. Listen to the sounds around. Slow dance.
- Have lots of sex with a faithful partner.
Taking a sensual approach to life, begins with enjoying what life is offering you even when there are challenges. Are you a sensual person? Do you love yourself? The answer should both be the same, because they both go hand in hand
So, discover your sensuality and it will improve your self confidence, strengthen your resilience during challenging times and make you feel at ease with your body and mind. It is bringing love into your life.