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Divorce: the nitty gritty for teens

Updated on January 27, 2012

Teens, I know where you've been

This hub is intended for those teenagers out there whose parents are currently undergoing a tough divorce process.

Never mind my age, but my parents got divorced when I was three years old (or should I say three years young?). I don't know what it is to have both my mom and my dad living under the same roof. I always saw the mainstream family profile (mom, dad, brother and sister) as a myth, simply unreal. For, my life was me, my mom, and the world- in that order.

One thing I've always remembered from those days was that my mom always fought for me to spend time with my dad. I had the privilege of being under the care of pretty mature parents. My dad would come pick me up and spoil me silly. My mom will make sure I did my chores right after school, among everything else.

Just because there's a divorce doesn't mean you can't smile...
Just because there's a divorce doesn't mean you can't smile... | Source

Studies show that whatever family profile one grows up with, we will reflect in our adulthood. My case is no different. After almost ten years of marriage (we really cohabitated but that's another story) my son's father took off, pillow, toothbrush and all. And yes it's rough and painful, but somehow I managed to follow my mom's footsteps: to make sure my son had a relationship with his dad.

Do you drive a car? Have you ever driven on a rainy day? Notice how everything turns foggy? How even your judgment gets kind of blurry in the process? If that happens just because it's raining, imagine the ordeal parents go through as one tells another this is just not working for me. Could you relate to such psychological weather?

Teens, there is a way, because there is a will to communicate

If you could, just give it a minute to let it sink in, of course this is not an easy process. For a child, it could be pretty unfair. But if as a child we could find a way to let parents know we are aware that this is a tough stage for them, and mean it sincerely, I am positive they will react by relating to you how concerned they have been for your well-being.

Does it matter who's fault is it?

Never ever a daughter or a son will be the main cause of a divorce or separation. Statistics show that the number one reason for divorce is due to financial situations... almost 60% of marriages end in divorce (although other studies state that divorce rates are actually decreasing back to 1960s trends).

That is, your mom and your dad spending habits or behavior is sometimes different to the point of colliding. On top of that, they surely lacked good negotiating skills, that's where tend to come into play, making the whole situation a tad more dramatic for everyone. Is not an easy task to remain a friend of that person to whom you once vow love "until death do us part".

No matter what, they do care for you

In the end, when all is said and done, they do care for you, both of them do. Adults can be the strangest creatures. So much is going through their heads that they are just unable to act on what is truly important, or they unknowingly keep putting off what is essential: a hug, a "how you doing?", or a good "I love you".

I know, because I was on my way to my own string of mistakes when my son reminded of how important it was, for example, for me to be respectful of his father. Teens, you are indeed able to teach your parents a lesson. Keep it clean, and respectful, mind your manners, but do speak your mind, you are certainly entitled to do so.

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