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Divorced Man's Blues

Updated on July 7, 2012


They say till death do you part
But what if the vows are doing the killing?
They say in sickness and in health
But what if the vows are the disease?
You wonder how much you should endure
Just because you said these things out loud
So I gave my word away
And I know why I feel so guilty

It just dawned on me
It’s my life
And I don’t know how long I have
I live in one small room
I work all day
Every day
And I give my money away
So why do I feel so guilty?

I love my kids
And they know it too
I don’t know how long they have
They live in a big house
While I work all day
Every day
And I give my time away
So why do I feel so guilty?

This is straight up
What am I supposed to do?
This isn’t some TV show
It’s life
My life
I don’t even have fun anymore
And I give my joy away
So why do I feel so guilty?

You can’t tell me I’m doing wrong
It’s about freedom
Freedom to live
And not die
Because of hatred
It ‘s about living with love
And I give my feelings away
So why do I feel so guilty?

I know I’m not the only one
Who said marriage is sacred anyway?
How can it be?
When it steals from us
It steals who we are
And leaves something that is destructive
And I give my soul away
So why do I feel guilty?

There's a thousand moments
Between a man and a woman
There are no witnesses
Except maybe the children
I don't live to justify
And I don't live to lie
So I give my cares away
And I still feel guilty

So you know I think about it
How it affects them
They have their little bubble
And they float out into mine
And it pops you know
Because I see them
And I give my love away
And I know why I feel guilty

Comments

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    • The Suburban Poet profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lecuona 

      5 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Hi love.... well I've burned a lot of years in bad relationship. I am very gun-shy. I don't know how much I've given but time is something that is very important to me and I've given much of that to the wrong person. I don't expect too much (I hope) from someone. I just don't like the stress of someone trying to control everything. I'm better off alone if that is how it's gonna' be.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 

      5 years ago

      there's a lot of power in your words. maybe you feel like you have already given too much and not receiving as much. do I make sense?

    • The Suburban Poet profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lecuona 

      5 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Joanie - every season has to end.... until the next time....

    • profile image

      Joanie 

      5 years ago

      Some people are in our lives for a reason - some for a season.

    • The Suburban Poet profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lecuona 

      5 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Thank all of you for your heartfelt comments. I'm sorry I took so long to respond.

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 

      6 years ago from New Zealand

      Very touching. Love the ending. Thank you.

    • Berga profile image

      Berga 

      6 years ago from SKIEN

      Marriage is a covenant, sealed by the blood. Divorce is the most destructive life's experience. Two became one flesh and will be until one part of a couple still lives... because of hardnes of a heart one make a choice to depart....try to pull apart a papir that's been sticked together with a glue ... there is no anesthesia to find and feeling of guilt will be eating the soul rest of life... not talking about the damage and bad example for children... Sacrifice.....

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 

      6 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      touchy as well as very real

      nice poem

      voted up......

    • time2rite profile image

      Kathryne Waller 

      6 years ago from Knoxville, TN USA

      Going through a divorce...hard stuff whether the children are still home or grown; going through one myself, and it's the most gut-wrenching thing I've ever experienced. You did great with this one, Suburban Poet!

    • kathryn1000 profile image

      kathryn1000 

      6 years ago from London

      I found this very beautifully written and very moving...excellent.

      You should have a book published,Kathryn

    • Nan Mynatt profile image

      Nan Mynatt 

      6 years ago from Illinois

      Your hub is from the heart. None of us like failing and divorce means that you could not make a go of your marriage! If there are children you have to go through a lot to recover. Life does go on if you let it! I marked you up.

    • MarkAnthony2010 profile image

      MarkAnthony2010 

      6 years ago from At "home"

      Never did get married, but those words reached me perfectly. It makes me wonder how much more intense my situation may have been had we stated the vows outloud. Wonderful writing!

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 

      6 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Very nice Suburban ! :)

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