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Do Men Fall In Love? If So How?

Updated on May 24, 2012


Love is an emotion that most people feel but, women often ask, " How Do Men Fall In Love? ". Women are able to understand and process the feelings associated with love while some men are unable to do this naturally. Men have the tendency to fall into lust, infatuation, and even possession but love is something they have to work at.


It's no secret that men are wired to be hunters. They enjoy discovering their prey, plotting on it, and then going after it. The chase and catch is exhilarating for men, it's euphoric to them but, this should not be confused with love. When the chase is over, they'll move on to the next hunt.

If a man is able to find this over and over again with the same woman, he'll move onto the possesion phase. He wants to own or possess the woman that will keep him feeling like a hunter. This is the reason why men cheat or abruptly leave some relationships because they miss the hunt.

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Men can't help to chase women. They are wired that way. So if this is the case, how can we as women help them to fall in love?

First, you have to keep them in the chase mode. This is not to be confused with mind games. The chase is simply being the woman that you were before you met him.

  • Learn to love yourself first.
  • Don't sacrifice your friends and activities
  • Keep the best part of you for yourself
  • Don't loose your identity in the relationship
  • Never make yourself ALWAYS available
  • Keep your appearance sexy and attractive
  • Have self respect


If you're looking to get married then you need to make him aware of that before you decide to get serious. Otherwise it would be a waste of his and your time. Men often do not go out looking for marriage.

You also have to prepare yourself for the fact that he may not want the same things as you. Save yourself time and heart ache by being up front about your intentions from the start.

This may require setting up boundaries to see if he's serious. Some men will say anything to get into your pants. In the dating phase of the relationship, you may want to set boundaries in the following areas.......

  • No overnight dates
  • Homes are off limits until there's a commitment
  • No casual encounters at hotels or any other spot where you can get naked
  • Save meeting close friends and family until after you are officially a couple


No amount of sexual attention or physical attractiveness will make a man fall in love. This is what allures men, it doesn't make them fall in love. They're intrigued by attractiveness and sexuality. It's bait.

I'm not saying that men do not fall in love. I'm just simply saying that men live vicariously through women's love. They learn from us and in return they begin to understand the true meaning of love.

When a " Woman Loves, She Loves Forreal "

When A Woman Loves, She Loves Forreal


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    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      @Jo_Goldsmith11 - thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 6 years ago

      An interesting read! I do somewhat agree with you about the man being the hunter and the woman the prey. A real man who cares about himself and has been shown by his mom how to love. This helps the man understand a woman's feelings. The autonomy of a woman or man is what makes or breaks a relationship in my opinion. Nice video and great resources! I voted up! :)

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      @Chris Sorry you feel that way. It was not my intention to do so.

    • profile image

      Chris 6 years ago

      This actually makes me feel like I've been generalised, not nice.

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      @4tune- I totally understand where you are coming from. I think it's important to recognize the hunt while maintaining true to yourself. Best wishes!

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      @dashingscorpio you are very wise and I'm looking forward to reading your book. Please let me know when it's availabe.

    • 4tune profile image

      4tune 6 years ago from Michigan

      Personally I don't want anything to do with another woman hunter type, and if I need to play games to win his love and need to be a knuckle under that cant make the first move.. them maybe he's too weak for me, as I happen to enjoy being aggressive sometimes.

      That is honestly the conclusion I have came to after many years of wracking my brains out.. The right one will like me the wrong one wont plain and simple.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      LS King – We are very much of the same mind.

      I once heard a motivational speaker say, “Every farmer knows you can’t change the seasons. You have to learn to work with the seasons. They’re already set.”

      Most of our frustration comes from not having things the way we want, from whom we want, and when we want them. The reality is we can only “control ourselves”. Since we are unable to go back in time and re- “raise” our loved ones through their formative years to be the kind of person we “really want” we have only 2 options.

      One is to give up pieces of our dream or as they say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and learn to live without some things.

      The other option is to have the self-discipline to stick to “our shopping” list and not settle. Instead of trying to (change water into wine) by dealing with someone we feel has “potential”, we instead expend that time and energy finding someone who “already is” what we want. One of the best ways to increase our olds is to have a global approach to dating. Even if one is not an avid traveler every large metropolitan city is a melting pot. A successful relationship is when two people want the same things and “naturally agree” on how to obtain them.

      When I was a young-man I sought to impose (my will) upon my relationships. Later on in life I switched to the “sell rather than tell” tactic. Today I understand in reality there is no “right” or “wrong” per se. It’s all about “agree” or “disagree”. Since each of us is “responsible” for selecting our own friends, lovers, and spouse (we) have to find out why we keep choosing to invest our heart and emotion into people who aren’t “naturally” on the same page as us. An old saying goes: “Men marry women hoping they will never change, and women marry men hoping they will change overtime.” They both have unrealistic expectations! I say be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Ultimately we’re all looking for someone who will love and accept us for who we are!

      However it does help to have a realistic view of ourselves. Too many people are expecting the world and have nothing to offer in return. I say, “Don’t expect to sit next to the moon unless YOU are a star!” lol!

      Keep writing insightful hubs! :-)

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      I really enjoyed your perspective on men falling in love. I do have a question for you, when do men " realize " that they are in love?

      I think that women change themselves often to meet the requirements of a man that's seeking to be the " man " in front of his peers. As I stated earlier a "possesion " of sorts. Most women want to be loved not possessed. We need to recognize that not every man that we fall in love with, will love us back. Like you said women are groomed to become wives and mothers from birth. Perhaps this is why women believe that they must continue grooming themselves to be marriage material. I wanted to show women that men fall in love differently and that they should not loose themselves in the relationship or the pursuit of it.

      BTW, you have a new follower! You have great hubs :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 years ago

      Men fall in love (aka) Discover Love all of the time.

      Most marriages are the result of a man proposing. However if the truth be told most relationships aren't going to end in marriage. If they did all of us would be with our high school sweethearts! One of the problems most women have is ignoring the fact that women have been groomed to look forward to being "The princess" (in our society the bride), having kids, and cooking from the time they were given baby dolls, Easy Bake Ovens....etc as little girls. No little boy is dreaming of getting married and taking care of babies. His toys stressed "adventure" and "independence".

      Most men don't consider settling down until they are in their 30s or beyond. So a woman that's 25 and wants to get married has a better chance of seeing that happen with a guy who is 32-35 years old. Men are groomed to seek success with the belief that once you obtain it "you can have any woman you want". In some ways women are seen as "perks" like a sports car, mansion, or exotic vacations that come with a job well done. Seeking the admiration and respect of (other men) is more important to a man because he knows if men admire him women will also. This explains why a man is more likely to buy a "How to get rich quick" book rather than a "How to have a happy marriage" book. It's not until a man "realizes" he is in love that he starts to "care" about going the extra mile.

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States

      @breakupbooks thank you for leaving a comment. Women and men do fall in love differently. I think women get hurt often because they do not realize this. I hope this hub is helpful to anyone asking the question " Do Men Fall In Love"?

    • profile image

      break up books 6 years ago

      Very interesting perspective on love! Men are more driven by the aesthetic and physical, women by emotions. This leads one to think that men and women do fall in love in different ways.

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States


      I'm glad that you can appreciate where I'm coming from in this hub. It was unpublished for weeks before I had the courage to publish it.

      I really do think men learn how to love from women. It's not a bad thing, it's just a eye opener!

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States


      I agree with your assessments. Thank you for sharing your point of view.

    • LSKing profile image

      LSKing 6 years ago from East Coast United States


      I can not say with certainty that your boyfriend loves you. All because someone says that they love you does not mean that it's the type of love you deserve. If his actions meet with his words then it's safe to assume that he does in fact love you.

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 6 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Have to agree with this article. It is for real, and men do like the chase, and most of the time if you make things to easy they don't feel like a man. Very good hub! :)

    • profile image

      reeltaulk 6 years ago

      I do believe that some men and women are unable to process "those feelings" due to deep rooted issues they hold on to that won't allow them to behave this way. Everyone wants to Love and be loved simultaneously, don't be deceived in thinking that some people or men can't process those feelings. I have spoken to many males, guys, men of all ages and they all say the same thing FEAR. They fear getting their feelings hurt, or afraid "the one they love" will look at them different once they find out that they are weak. That's why it's best to be true to yourself no matter who you're attracted to, like or have and interest in etc. Because at the end of the day their true feelings may be insulting if you go out your way to be approved by them. CiaO

      Vonda G. Nelson

    • Shreya. profile image

      Shreya. 6 years ago from India

      hey so does it mean tht if i have a boyfrend in college... and even tho he says he loves me... he does not and is in either of these phases..???