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Do Men Like Smart Women?

Updated on April 25, 2021
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A research enthusiast who likes to dwell deep into the mysteries of the human mind, emotions, and relationships.


Does IQ Matter?

Do men really like dating intelligent women?

Recently I met an old friend of mine. We aren't exactly best of friends, but back during school days, I always used to ask for her help in my studies. She was far more mature for her age and extremely intelligent. My friend can debate on any topic under the sun and prefers intellectual conversations over gossip. This makes her a little different from the rest of the bunch. I try to stay away from gossip as far as I can but at times I get tempted to join in a juicy conversation. But this friend of mine is adamant to stay away in such cases.

She got married recently. It was an arranged marriage. If you don't know, arranged marriages are fairly common in India. She was telling me her husband gets bored instantly whenever she talks about her subjects of passion (her work, her medical career, the latest news, or anything of the sort). He just likes talking about his friends that she has never met, asks her what she has cooked today, or places his numerous demands in front of her.

They don't have anything much to talk about these days she says. Unfortunately, they both seem bored of each other. You cannot say that either one of them is introverted in any way. One is a smart woman who can talk about anything under the sun, while the other is a man whose general knowledge is not that sharp as hers. She wants an intellectual conversation whereas all he wants is to talk abt everyday things like "food", "friends" and "home". He doesn't know what to say when she comes up with topics like politics, science, or technology.

Do Men Really Like Intelligent Women?

This question can be asked the opposite way too - "Do women like extremely intelligent men?"

In the end, it is all about compatibility. Intelligence is subjective when it comes to relationships. What seems intelligent to one person, might not be the case for another.

People who need to have mentally stimulating conversations need to marry someone similar or else they could feel unheard or ignored. You should be openly curious and interested in things to ensure an easy flow of conversation. You will have things to discuss and you won't ever run out of topics, even after years go by.

But this does not necessarily happen all the time.

Arranged marriages in India makes such things even more difficult. In India, a single meeting is set up with prospects to make that major decision. Further conversations are still widely not encouraged, though the new generation is making it mandatory to get to know a person before the final decision.

One-meeting arranged marriages don't sound fair to you? But this is what has been happening in our culture for a long time. By the looks of it, it is not going to change soon. In that one meeting, you are occupied with knowing the other person's likes and dislikes so much so that you don't have time for discussing things in length.

How can you decipher someone's intelligence in just one meeting? To an extent, yes, but first impressions do not always reveal the "true" side of things. Probably because both parties are doing their best to impress each other and all they do is avoid further discussion on subjects with a "yes", "obviously", "of course I know all that!"

A Different Sense of Humor

If a man doesn't know what the hell his brainy wife is talking about, does he get turned off?

I know this friend of mine doesn't giggle unnecessarily for each and everything. Her husband seems to prefer the bubbly sort though, she says. She even goes on to add that it goes against her intelligence to giggle at such silly things.

Do men really like it when their partner says - "ok, that wasn't so funny..."? Share your views below.


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